'It's okay to be broken',
The 5 most beautiful words imaginable.
When I let him inside my barrier,
This is what he said,
Tears in his eyes,
Looking around,
At the crumbling walls inside me.

Sometimes I feel that,
I don't even want to see a tomorrow.
Because I am living in yesterday,
And I feel dead today,
And everyday.

I stand,
The fire screaming at me.
I don't move,
I don't want to.
I want to be engulfed by these flames.
These flames of hell.
Yet above me the clouds shine,
The Earth feels soft under my bare feet.
Keeping me grounded.
Yet the serene beauty of the world,
Is taken over by this darkness inside.

Holding her hand, that silky petite hand, her gorgeous lips, dripping from the cold, wet winter rain. Her velvet brown hair blowing in the wind as we run towards the shop front for shelter. But I stop, grabbing her arm. I take both her hands in my mine, keeping them protected. I take a deep breath and watch the droplets of water fall from her hood onto her cheeks. Those eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes, complimented by those long long eyelashes. She smiled her bright little smile.. And it was then I said. I love you.

***** dishes,
Unwashed clothes.
Shoes on the floor.
My love and I sprawled on the couch,
His arms wrapped around.
Taking life nice and easy.
Laughing at our old ambitions,
And realising that this is the life we live.
This is where I want to be

It creeps in, not making a sound.
Clawing away at any happiness you had.
Until it has devoured it all,
Leaving you as a hollow shell....
Leaving you with nothing.

I lay there dead and numb inside,
While you drew me in just like a tide.
I really don’t know where to start,
But you pulled a knife and cut my heart.
And in that moment then I knew
I could never ever stop loving you.
Even though your bad for me,
You make me feel alive and free...

You dreamed to live,
While I longed to die.

As the pills kick in,
She feels at peace.
She feels the pain leaving her body.
Numb.
Knowing her fight is finally over

I'm living in this dark fantasy,
Where I'm surrounded my deranged demons.
Back in that room,
With my attacker...
Reliving the moment second by second,
Minute by minute,
Hour by hour.
Slowly slipping away.
Very, very, slowly,
Until I disappeared.
Back into my dark fantasy.

She smiles a bright smile,
But hides the darkest secrets.

The pain starts to dissipate as numbness floods her body,
She closes her eyes,
Unclenches her fists,
And lets out a final sigh.
In an hour or two someone will probably find her,
But she won't hear the worry in their voice
Or see the concern in their eyes when they do...
...because she's gone.

You never let me be me.
You see I'm healing,
Yet you need to drag me down.
You see me smiling,
Yet you need to make me cry.
You see me trying,
Yet you still make me feel like a failure.
Your meant to love me,
Not hate me Mom.

The laughs,
The cries.
The secrets,
The lies.
The little fights,
The drunken nights,
A friend is all you need.

In my opinion,
things don't get better,
we're made to think it.
a coping mechanism,
built in.
To survive.

I can still feel the nerves,
Sneaking out to mind you.
I can still feel your hair between my fingers,
Wet with fear.
I can still feel your breath on my cheek,
Smelling of stale alcohol.
I can still hear your voice,
Hoarse and lost.
I can still see the way you looked at me,
With your big, sad, blood shot eyes,
Begging me to never leave your side.
Your lips telling me you love me.
And in that moment,
I knew I was never going to be the same.
I love you too.

Just keep smiling,
Even though people are talking.
Just keep smiling,
Even though home is a mess.
Just keep smiling
Even though the blades hurt.
Just keep smiling,
Even though your dying...

I feel upset.
That's where this all started.
Upset turned to hurting.
Hurting turned to harming.
Harming turned to drugs.
Drugs turned to addiction.
Addiction turned to depression.
And depression stole my soul.
And its making me forget who I am,
More and more,
Day by Day.

I stopped trying the day you left.
I stopped my sport,
I stopped participating in school.
I stopped caring,
I stopped loving.
I stopped being me.
And it feels as if I've also
Stopped breathing.

If i wasn't me, i think i'd last.
But I wouldn't be me without the hurt.
I wouldn't be me without my past
I wouldn't be me without my tears
I wouldn't be me without my scars
I wouldn't be me.

I am not afraid of the dark,
It can't scare me anymore.
I'm used to it.
It's ways of making me think and feel.
Having full control over me like a drug.
And I'm the addict.

I love the pain.
Because when you live with it,
Everyday...
You have no other choice.

I feel as though I'm nothing,
You make me feel like nothing.
I feel empty.
Broken
And scarred.
I feel like there's no turning back.
Just continual darkness forever,
And ever,
And ever.

I'm just a body,
Not a person.
Unnoticed in your eyes,
And also in mine.
I'm just a face,
Not pretty or perfect
Just another girl,
Unnoticed.
I'm just upset,
Nothing new.
The pain it hurts,
Unnoticed.
Until the day,
When I end my pain,
I will be
Unnoticed.

Neat little rows.
All over my body.
Some deep,
Some shallow.
Every line with its own story.
Little memories I carry with me.
The after scarring always there to remind me.
Of the pain I felt in those deep dark moments.

Your addiction.
You think we don't notice but we do.
The empty bottles hidden in corners.
The slur in your voice.
The pain in your eyes.
Why are you doing this?
You are fine on the outside...
But what is inside making you **** yourself like this?
What demons are you trying to drink away....?

'Coward', I hold my blade.
'*****', The tears fall.
'Useless', The blade moves.
'Unwanted', The blood drips.
'**** Yourself', The cuts deepen.
Oxygen stops reaching my lungs.
Think Before You Speak.

Life is a jigsaw.
Sometimes you fit the pieces together, first try.
Sometimes it takes a few tries,
Putting the pieces in the wrong places
And taking a while to figure out where they go.
But sometimes, the jigsaw falls and breaks.
The decision lies there.
Awaiting your answer.
Do you start again?
Or give up.

I said i was busy.
But not in the way you think.
I was busy focusing on my breathing.
I busy trying to keep the tears at bay.
I was busy gliding the blade back and forth.
I was busy bleeding.
I was busy doing what I do best.
I was busy hurting.