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every monster finds it way to my paintbrush. and paints itself and its story.

monsters write themselves in blue ink, idling aphotic shadows, luring near floors, unable to view themselves as nothing more than weak mindless creatures who yearn to be seen as beautiful and not fearful creatures that hide in dark spaces. They want to be drawn and written about, painted and noted. They want to know if they have some place in the world that fears them.
the voices are faded distorted whispers, glitched between my thoughts and the floorboards
they will not let me sleep until they have their stories told.
He told me how he
Got his scars,
So I told him about
My past lovers

The ones who abused me,
The ones who confused me,
The ones who I thought were
"The one"

We laid in the dark room
Under the blanket
Softly caressing one another
Speaking tongues of love

He's always loved me,
And I've always been
Too afraid to admit my
Feelings towards him

We're getting closer again
And even though I know
He would never hurt me,
I'm scared

I'm scared to love again
And I'm scared of attachment.
I'm scared of jealousy, anxiety
And things going wrong

But as we laid in
The dark together,
I could hear in his voice
How much he wanted me

I can't help but think that
Maybe, just maybe
I want him, too.
**** me.
Or I will.
You found me
Heart of abuse turned peaceful
Eyes of disgust enlightened
You winged me into security,
then played off my vulnerability like a scavenger
Peeling my walls down like flesh from a carcass
You reeled me in like the catch of the day
hook attached, you left me dangling with the hope of repair
As you caught a one way to California
The days that followed brought your beasts with them
Gloomy deceitful minions of broken trust
Your "love" had evaporated just as quick as the oregon wind blows
Making me regret every ounce of compassion I'd given you
despising the sincerity I had offered
Regurgitating every lie you'd bestowed upon me
However, with every passing day my memory of you fades
No longer do I cry over your cowardly decisions
There is no hate or grudge held within my soul
Soon enough I realised I'd never loved you
I was faking contempt with every kiss, every hug, every word
& my heart secretly craved your absence
months have passed without heartache
I've doused my wounds in gasoline and set your memory ablaze
regained that fire in my eyes that you once so carelessly saturated with tears
There are many that patiently waited for my return
Finally my golden emeralds are cleaned of deceit and deception
I'm done searching, waiting, and hoping for my happily ever after
I am my happy ending
I'm the best architect and gardener I know
Continuously rebuilding myself after demolition
& Replanting my roots to fit my desires
Repairing cracks, sowing holes, stemming leaves from ashes
I've been reborn.
Not quite finished
It's not fun
you better run
she's got sunshine in a bag
all wrapped in tangled rags
for her own good.

She's tried to hide,
how all she's done is lied
to be in her prize
but it was the wrong size
only for her own good.

she knows you just want the facts
she knows you want to keep intact
she said "but that's not who I am,
I just told you what I knew, then I ran,
just for my own good."

It made everyone feel special,
then in the end, all could be read by facials
so then truth hit her in the back of the head
she sank so low, and stayed in her bed
all for her own good.

When she thought it was over, it went back to the same,
she learnt nothing, she only ever felt shame
for everyday it seemed to rain
and everyday was twice as much pain
all because she was worried for her own good.
People i love to hate,I gag everytime i see their face,
People treat me different because of how i am,They
just really don't understand how it feels to be hidden,
My heart has been beaten in so many ways,They don't really
care, i don't either,when i'm around them,it feels like i've caught a
fever.People treat me different because of how i am,they just don't understand
how it feels to be BROKEN..!!
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