written August 30th, 2016

"I usually can't stand sleeping in warmth

I tear off all my sheets, tossing and turning in my bare skin, flipping the pillow from one side to the other

Back and forth

The fan is on high yet my skin is containing heat, causing my nights well rested to not be achieved

Yet, the nights you chose to end your day by my side, this is simply not the same

I wrap my arms around your waist, body to body, heat to heat we drive each others temperatures higher

I could sleep all night long in these conditions, if it meant I could intertwine your fingers with mine, kiss your lips and say goodnight, close my eyes to match the dark room,
if only it meant I could wake up next to you"

written August 28th, 2016

"Numb to the illusion that past feelings are not present

Numb to the inevitable, reserved, and repressed thoughts that are now coming to the surface

Numb to the cold salty water drops that are making a daily appearance

Numb to the fact that I'm blind that we are not the same

I feel so numb, when I hear your name

Heart starts racing, mind moves at millions

I can not fathom the 'what ifs' and 'whys'  yet they're all that crosses through my mind

I need someone to thaw me out

I need the old you back, to make me feel warm again"

written August 23rd, 2016

"In the midst of the night, through groggy eyes, she slips her hand through the inviting slits of his

She grips tightly, trying to make body language say the words she was too tired to say

Half asleep, she smiles for this is the first in nights that she's woken up to him by her side

Even with her feeble, tired mind,

she never get tired of him"

written July 18th, 2016

"Thank you for letting me stare into your eyes, without asking why

Grabbing my hand, holding it tight and kissing it while you drive

Thank you for all the memories we have shared,

Running your fingers through my hair, petting my kitty when he's scared and being there for me at all times

Thank you for smiling when telling me "you're mine"

And being the only thing one thing on my mind at all times

Thank you for impacting my life in such a way that makes me sappy when I say the words:

I love you"

written July 9th, 2016

"Familiarity lingers within the silence

A quiet little remembrance of the past I once knew

All alone - yet content

For once, this feeling I feel is no longer surrounded by repetition and tension

Now, I breathe in deep and read the screen through groggy eyes with dark circles and feel so very much blessed with all I have

The silence is no longer uncomfortable

I am basking in its infinite nothingness"

written May 31st, 2016

"And then it hit me

The avoidable thoughts that thrashed through my mind were unbearable

The idea of a life with the absence of you in it

And the idea of a mind like yours not sharing it's complex and vivid thoughts day by day with mine cause me sorrow and confusion

You are my ray of light

You are my rock

and ultimately, you are the reason my heart jumps out of its chest

my irises grow when I set sights on your face

my smile is shown day by day and my laughter is brought on by you

I cannot complete a thought without the idea of you passing through my mind

And then it hit me,

I'm in love with you"

written March 23rd, 2016

"Stuck in a rotating box

Tick-tock

Spinning in circles round and round until the world crashes

Beneath my fingertips

Nothing is ethereal

Everything is made up of verbal conversations that have no meaning, no depth, no perception

No emotion is portrayed but the silent howl I hold within

The silent anger and frustration that boils beneath my skin

Cranking up the heat until I explode - how will I overcome this feeling of suffocation and get to a point where I feel

Free?"