You're so beautiful he said,
So beautiful to the point that I want you dead,
Preserved for eternity,
Forever in my bed,
Let me shower you with kisses from your head down to your neck,
Slowly descending from your belly back up to your breast,
Being careful not to pull at the thread,
Her screams only seemed to please the monster he was with ease,
His animalistic nature was dangerously appeased,
They say every beauty needs her beast,
I preserved her beauty for only my eyes to see,
Her ruby red lips matched the crimson coloured walls,
I wore white that night,
He said it signified my purity,
Her story rewritten in red,
The brunette was dead,
But now a puppet she stood for the man to bed,
Beauty on the outside,
She felt amazing on the inside,
Her body so taut,
I wish she could spread wider,
So that all of me may fit inside her,
Kisses and hickies,
My body is wet and bruised,
Forever his..
Never to leave this room...
I pull the strings tighter,
She must sit still while I redecorate inside her,
Moving quick then slow to the beat,
Taking slow strokes so that I may venture deep,
Oh how I wish she could spread wider,
But the strings are about to break...
I turned 21 that day...
He said I was the perfect age,
Forever young he wanted me,
Forever young I shall stay.

I grew up in a family where weakness was never shown,
The weak die early that is what I was told,
Survival of the fittest,
Even amongst my kin,
We were never really a family to begin with..
Pretending to be happy,
Full of laughter,
Jokes,
And grins,
Is this how a "family" is supposed to be?
All pretenders...
I've told you once and I will tell you again,
Listen closely,
We were never really a family to begin with..
Turn off the lights and see it for what it truly is,
See them..
See behind their masks,
And fake forms of affection,
We were never really a family to begin with..
We are blood related...
I feel as if I have been poisoned from the inside,
The toxicity within my blood,
Slowly killing me before I gradually die..
They destroyed me,
Shattered my body,
Soul,
And mind,
They must have planned their attack ahead of time,
Decided from birth that I was the one to die..
Sought out to **** me as I was developing,
Within her womb...
I never truly had the time,
The chance,
The choice,
To discover who I was,
To be happy..
To be free..
They killed me before I had the chance to choose,
My destiny..
Before I could talk or walk...
It should come as a surprise to me..
They're supposed to love and take care of me,
But we were never really a family to begin with.
Only concerned for their own existence.

She must have hated me from birth,
Casted her eyes upon my small frame and felt nothing for me,
Although I was nothing but a new born,
She must have hated me all the same,
Unable to fathom why she treated me this way,
Thought me to be a curse upon this Earth,
Distorted my worth,
Treated me like dirt,
She treated the others better,
Never understood what I had done wrong,
She claimed I was evil,
Lucifer's most precious offspring,
"You've been this way ever since you were a child",
"Constantly going around and spreading lies",
She called me a *****,
Looked at me in disgust,
Defended the other one even though I was the victim,
"So what?"
Turned her head away and walked off,
She's never loved me...
She never will despite how hard I try,
Have tried all my life..
I sought to earn her affection overtime,
To succeed in school,
Help out,
And never play the fool,
But her distorted form of love,
Only served as momentary affection,
It never mattered for I was always ranked number 2..
Then came another,
After that I was ranked number 3..
Then came the rest,
And later Number 5 is who I was to be...
This is my rank...
The lowest of the low...
I can never Ascend...
"Mummy why didn't you love me?"
Why must I always descend.

Solidarity, it is my home away from home,
My prison and paradise,
My sanctuary and cage,
My nightmare and dream,
Is it to be my friend or foe?
I suppose I will never know,
As I am one who is forsaken of that which is companionship,
Yet I can neither be one with who I am with or without it,
My purpose for being here,
The meaning of my existence,
In a world that has lost all face,
A world where I have no place.

Drugs,
Alcohol,
***,
Maybe they actually do help,
With the pain..
Help you to get through it,  
Help you to carry on,
To numb your insides,
To work its way inside like an antidote,
But they also **** you slowly on the inside,
Like the feelings you've been keeping in for quite some time,
Always doing damage,
Always killing you from the inside,
Always taking over,
Soul..
Body..
And mind..
Always doing damage,
Each and every time..
Slowly..
Slowly..
On the inside..

They killed you a little inside,
Every time a part of you died,
Forever the pain locked in your mind,
You thought it would heal overtime,
They ***** you of the opportunity to feel like one of a kind,
They say that children need love in their lives,
You were the child that survived,
You fought to be here against the demons in your mind,
Who told you it was time to descend into the ground,
And be one with the earth for life,
You are weak but strong,
One that does not belong,
You are one without resolve,
You resonate within you a sad song,
You wish your tale could live on,
Etched in your skin for life,
It is a tattoo in its own right,
Would you like to disappear for the night?
Be the Luna among the stars,
Your sad eyes will show from afar,
You will shine like the star that you are,
You will illuminate the sky,
Pave your way overtime,
I'm sorry that you cannot go back in time,
But young girl was your past ever any better than your present?
Here me now for there is no guardian angel watching over you,
You are an individual split into two,
The darkness and light working through you,
Channel your pain but do not let it consume you,
For you my child will be torn in two.