harlee kae

harlee kae Mar 2017

M.M.

three years ago
i had a broken heart
and i didn't know you
but i asked you for help
and you were there

here we are today
roles reversed
and you told me
i'm lonely
and i layed in bed
and cried for you

i sent you all the hope
and all the love
i had within me
but did you feel it at all

i want you to be okay
because you're my friend
and i love you dearly
you deserve to be okay
even more than okay

i hope you know
i think of you
ying to my yang
lumos to my nox

and i pray you're okay
and i **send you my love

harlee kae Mar 2017

...tired

i'm getting tired again
i'm wearing down
things are starting to look bleak
like they used to
i thought it was over
i thought i was done
how do i fix this
myself

harlee kae Feb 2017

indifference

it's funny
just a bit
(but not really)
how i mostly just write
in a state of depression
as if happiness
is something too great to share
because happiness isn't experienced alone
so why tell strangers about it

but sadness, jealousy, heartbreak
those are lonely emotions
so i write
hoping to get some kind of validation
hoping a stranger will reach out
and tell me i'm not crazy
for my thoughts,
and they have

strangers have been there
far more than friends
on the long nights
when i'm too ashamed
to do anything but hide behind a computer

and now i'm just here
in a place of indifference
wondering why i stopped writing
wondering why the good times
can't also be shared

i'm stuck
in this rut
and i've made friends
have a boyfriend
a dog
the whole thing

but i miss the comfort of strangers
who know me more intimately
than anyone else

harlee kae Jan 2017

Passion

Negativity swirls around me like the storm outside my door,
reminding me of all the things I've told myself before;
you aren't good enough or smart enough or worthy enough to make it,
everything I've said before to the point where I can't take it.
But then a thought appears that subsides all the self hate,
it's Francis Chan telling me Isaiah 55:8.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts and My ways are not your ways.."
I criticize myself
for the things that God does praise.
He sees me in a greater light, knit perfectly together
and He loves me for the way I am, in any kind of weather.

harlee kae Sep 2016

work,cleo,school,you

and i'm overwhelmed again
i'm in that place again
just need to see your face again
i'm tired
i'm breaking
i'm shutting down
and its only been a day
but its like a week or two
and i don't know what to do
or who i am when i'm not with you
just don't get tired of me too
i've been crying a lot
i mean i'm really stressed
i'd understand if you couldn't take it
but please my love lets make it
i can't take more disappointment
all i need is your arms
right now
and maybe i'll be okay

harlee kae Jul 2016

my memories aren't yours

worked tonight. saw my friend trey.
he talked about you, i feel like hell.

apparently you'd been working as well.

he said he knew we dated,
but he didn't know you broke my heart.

i guess when talking about me, you forgot that part.

it's been awhile.
a year? or two?

since the last time when i thought of you.

it's fine, i told myself this time.
it doesn't matter what you think.

but i gave everything i was, and still you let me sink.

you cheated on me years ago.
it seems i haven't mended.

tonight i have gratitude, it ended when it ended.

for when you broke up with me,
yeah i fell apart.

but a few months after that, i got a brand new start.

harlee kae Nov 2015

gold

you know those scenes in the movies where everything kinda slows down and you don't hear voices but music, and it's probably acoustic, but also happy too and everything is gold because of the sun and the people's smiles and you stare at the screen and just feel that maybe life is gonna be okay ?
that's how I feel about you.
yeah life gets crazy sometimes and I get anxious and moody and frustrated, but then I look at you and life feels better, and everything sorta turns gold.