HM: Poems

2:20am

HM Feb 2016

2:20am

Remember when you lit me up
Like i was light to my own somber thoughts
When you decided to burn me out
Like the matchstick you've just thrown

What used to burn so brightly
has now been all used up,
just wax on the floor with nothing left to light

#hnnmgs

Asshole

HM Jan 2016

*******

Sorry.

A spur of the moment
A blink in time
The tic of the clock
I take it back

#hnnmgs

By-and-by

HM May 2016

By-and-by

There's no doubt;
By any chance I'd see you again
Walking by the street or by the one you love,
That waves would churn where the sea is calm
This time not by the hopes of having you back,
Maybe, just maybe of the jolt
That comes with the sight of what once was home
That has now become a distant abode

By all means, I'm letting you go

—HM

#hnnmgs

False Parade of Hope

HM Oct 2017

False Parade of Hope

If things worked out, I would've given you the world.
I stood there as my stomach curled
Sinking in reasons I'll never hear,
Drowning in a future that was never clear

I asked you not once, but one too many times
In all of those, you vaguely assured while shifting tides
I would've asked for more, and I didn't.
But you gave me a little too much to forget that we shouldn't.

Now I'm left with pieces of you in every turn
Like you wanted to be there til nothing's left to burn
You were a tide of joy that's waiting to fret
Now you're a wave of disappointment I don't think I regret

—hm

#hnnmgs

Funny

HM Dec 2015

Funny

It's funny how my good days still remind me of you
And how the bad days have me rooting for you
Funny how i thought I've settled with myself
And how i thought there wasn't anything left of you in me
Funny how i want to have it all again
But throw up at the thought of taking you back
Shame how I've loved you with everything i had left
Funny how it was never enough
At least not for you

Funny how things end
Shame, what they leave behind

#hannamags

If We Lasted A Little Longer

HM Jan 2018

If We Lasted A Little Longer

But I will love you with the deepest parts I've known of me
Where no one really knows what they'll come to see
Where by you,I'll be felt
Even if not known to all else.

I have set my heart for you
Like the day is set after night, to come through
Like trees that wither
But only in the cold dark winter

—HM

#hnnmgs

In Case

HM Apr 2016

In Case

In case you come back
Remember all the times we had
And all the times you made me laugh
And try to remember the sparkle in my eyes I'd hoped you knew was yours

In case you come back
Take the time to think of old jokes
To the best ones, we almost choked
Remember all those empty rooms we turned into our escape

In case you come back
Remember all the dreams we had;
You in mine and I in yours.

Because in case you come back
I'll remember the times you've shut the door
How cold it was and how much I hurt

And in case you come back
I'll remember just how hard i fought
When all you did was turn your back

#hnnmgs

In the Morning

HM Jun 2016

In the Morning

We were like dreams amidst the midnight cold
Silent and vivid and distant as told
By the golden sky, you squint your eye
Least did we know 'twas time for goodbye

—hm

#hnnmgs

Moon

HM Mar 2018

Moon

I can’t be your light
Not when your moon is gleaming at night
Not even when summers are long;
For its nights are where both of you belong

I can chase your nights away
But your heart—it belongs to the moon.
So I let my light die everyday
So they slowly fade and give you away

She is your Moon.

—HM

#hnnmgs

Nocturnalis

HM Dec 2016

Nocturnalis

I befriended the night,
He chased away my empty flight.
In return, I gave my share of good times
Deep into it, like it were a crime
Just as those small hands bring forth his end,
It's almost time to see an old friend.
The night is deep, the day is young
In between are secrets we never let slip from our tongue

—HM

#hnnmgs

No more

HM Sep 2015

No more

I felt so deeply
As deep as the well
That echoed your name.

You wanted in
I let you go deep
It was dark and cold
Til you can't take it
"No more"
So you broke through my walls
And found your way out

The next thing i know
It echoes no more

#writtennotspoken

November

HM Dec 2015

November

Ten months was not enough.
Not to drown myself into the same ocean.
Not to pick up the pieces.
Not even to throw them out.
Not even to heal.

Ten months is too short.
To find the parts that were lost.
To put them back together.
To drain all the anger.
To put it all behind.

It took 10 months to **** it all up and feign every ounce of "okay" and "happy" when the cold creeps up at 10 in the ******* evening, feeding the urge to jump into the same ocean.

I gave in after ten ******* months.

#hannamags

Null

HM Dec 2016

Null

Sometimes in my sleep I stand by the shore
Just as waves crash and soak my bedroom floor,
Nothing to lose, I let all of it through.
Riptides, they form as the waves do so too.
Just empty thoughts and somehow loosened faith,
Currents are strong, all my fears, they have bathed
Until I cease fire, my thoughts shall stay lulled
Still, I stood by—all washed out and left null

—HM

#hnnmgs

October

HM Oct 2018

October

Curse in disguise of a blessing
A rainbow after the storm
Not a *** of gold,
but a quicksand await by its end
It was but a better-than-dreams kind of truth,
A hard pill to choke on
But i swallowed.

I swallowed every inch of lie i tell myself at night,
Every ounce of my denial from your truth
Nothing but a mockery,
A slate of shame for you and me

It wasn’t saving grace
But a curse wearing a pretty face

—HM

#hnnmgs

Of All the Things You've Given Me

HM Jan 2017

Of All the Things You've Given Me

That old sock of a teddy bear
That shiny silver tag
The letter you wrote
Those trinkets you let me keep

The best ones, I say
Aren't those you've handed to me
The best ones, you've given
Weren't yours to begin with

Those nights at the beach
I tried my hardest to enjoy
To shake off the thought
Of you not answering my calls

Those drunken nights
I call the best ones by far
To fill what you've left
When the choice was all mine

The time for myself
The growth I've acquired
The freedom i had
From the ways
you've made me feel

Because out of all the things
you've given me,
The best were the ones
you didn't hand over

—HM

#acceptance #hnnmgs

Saving Shots

HM Jan 2017

Saving Shots

I don't know if they suspect a thing
When they ask me why
I have all photos taken
Old and new and in a box I've hidden

I always say, as the truth that it is;
That once in a while, every now and then,
I feel the need for proof that once,

*All of it were real

—HM

#hnnmgs

Shame

HM Sep 2015

Shame

We were
Nothing but
Endless games of
Hide and Seek
and
Make-believe

#writtennotspoken

Short Distance

HM Dec 2017

Short Distance

I'll keep you hidden somewhere far
Somewhere in my dreams when my eyes aren't ajar
Like the way you'd hold my hand
When no one's there to see at last

As the road neared end
You were the only one who knew
And that day you branded my now-favorite spot
You cleared the path, the line was right before my eyes

I should've been mad
Should've lost it when I was sad
But I cleared my mind, maybe I didn't care that much
Cause when i called you that night, I shouldn't have asked for another match

—HM

#hnnmgs

Sun

HM Jan 2018

Sun

Let me be your ray of light
In any form, in any given flight
Not only when your moon fails to light up your river
Not only when your stars forget to glimmer

Amidst your moon are stars with frail light bickering;
But the sun is a star, it shines for you, darling
But you never look her in the eyes without blinding your own;

I am your sun

—HM

#hnnmgs

the hollow

HM Sep 2015

the hollow

We cannot change what has been done
All things we shared and battles won
They meant so much to us for once
Now here's a void we can't outrun

We've lost our hold
The rope has burned
We're just as cold
As the hands we've turned

It's done
It's over
What once was there
I see no more

Thin Air

HM May 2016

Thin Air

Here it comes
The freight of all my truths
The shallow saline puddle it's about to become
Not now. I beg.
I wish to tell. I'd rather not.

*I can't breathe.

—hm

#hnnmgs

Untitled

HM Jan 2016

Untitled

I've lost myself in every way possible.*

Because when you allow someone to love you so strongly

and then you leave 'em hanging,

*That's what happens.

#hnnmgs

whatnot

HM Sep 2015

whatnot

And there's nothing else
You could think about

The sound of her voice
The smell of her hair

One day you're
Crazy about her

One day you'll find yourself
Awake in the dark

Thinking about
What you should've said that night
Until the dawn breaks
And paints the sky colors you thought were hers

But the thing is
*That's all she'll ever be.

When it's dark in the AM

HM Feb 2016

When it's dark in the AM

You see
all i have now
is my playful little mind
and the regrets I turn into
metaphors

#hnnmgs

Why do

HM Feb 2016

Why do

You keep on testing the waters
When all there is are waves
That never stay

#hnnmgs

— The End —