I wish I could back,
And be with that person
Who you used to be

I wish I could back,
To that December day,
When everything was perfectly okay.

I wish I could go back,
To that December evening,
Where the Love between us was just beginning.

I wish I could go back,
To that December week,
When you were so cute and meek.

I wish I could go back,
To that December month,
Where I found you, met you, and loved you a whole bunch.

I wish I could go back,
To the days before we talked,
So I could stop myself from talking to you,
So I wouldn't have to wish for the days,
Where you were the person I loved,
And not the person who I'm beginning loath.

I apologize,
For Loving you,
For Caring about you,
For ******* everything up,
For being so Stupid,
For ******* you off,
For causing you obvious irritation.
But did you accept my apology?
No.
Why?

Maybe you need to man up;
You need to realize it wasn't just me that made me fall for you;
It was you, too.
You've given me false feeling.
And it made me fall harder.
You have to accept that I desperately want to be apart of your life.
I want you to be happy, so badly.
But making this happen,
Is really making my life ****.
You need to start setting your feelings straight,
Rather than letting me think there's still feeling
When there isn't.

Tell me how it is,
Before it's too late.

You need to man up and face me,
Come and say good-bye to me,
If you hate me.

You need to man up and face me,
Come and tell me you care,
If I'm a Dear Friend.

You need to man up and face me,
Come and hug me and kiss me,
If you really feel bad because I love you so much.

You need to man up and face me,
Come and tell me we'll never be,
If you really don't like me.

You need to man up and face me,
Come and tell me you like me,
If that's even true.

You need to man up and face me,
And tell me the truth,
If I mean anything at all to you.

You need to man up face me,
Before I cry too much over you,
Before my heart is much too scared,
And I won't be able to move on.

You just need to man up and face me,
And tell me everything that I need to hear,
Whatever that is,
So, maybe, I can move on,
Leave you behind
But that seems so hard right now;
I don't think I could do it.
But,

If you maned up and faced me,
Maybe I could.

But
I'm falling
Deeper and deeper
Into a hole.

A hole that's called Love.
And I'm so scared.

I don't have you this time.
You're not going to catch me.
I'll fall deeper and deeper
Till I hit the ground and
I'll never be found.

My eyes well with tears
As I write
Of the sadness and sorrow
That fills my heart.

I'm not going to cry
I'll say
But to my dismay,
The tears come anyways.

I'm not going to cry.
I shout.
This isn't what falling in Love is about!

You're supposed to catch me,
Like in the books.
But she took away!
**** her!
I'll say!

I'm falling deeper and deeper
Hitting the ground.
Yet the only thing that shatters
Is something that really matters.

The thing you were supposed to save.
The thing you're supposed to steal.
But I don't even know how you feel.

So I'll fall deeper and deeper.
All alone.
Till you come,
And take me home.

Why must we get confused?

Why can't we explain our feelings?
Why can't figure out if something is good or bad?
Why can't we read minds?

Why can't I see the real meanings behind your words?
Why can't I stop getting my hopes up?
Why do I keep trying?
Why do I love you?

Why can't you love me back?
Why can't figure out if you really want me?
Why are you still with her?
Why can't you see that I can't stop loving you?
Why can't you see how easily your words hurt me?
Why can't you see how unhappy I really am?
Why can't you notice the sadness behind my words when I know you're with her?
Why don't you apologize for everything you did?
Rather than just telling me my unhappiness makes you upset?
When I don't even know if it really does?
Why don't you come and see me?
Why don't finally figure your feelings out?
Why can't you realize liking someone when you're dating someone else, is wrong?
Why can't you just fall for me again?

And
Why can't you answer my questions?

I guess my big question is,
Why?

People would tell me,
You were just another crush.

People would tell me,
You weren't worth my time;
You weren't worth my tears.

People would tell me,
You were just like any other boy;
A ****.

People would tell me,
"He's ugly anyways."

People would tell me,
You never cared

People would tell me,
You lie to me.

People would tell me,
You're never coming back to me;
To give up hope.

But you know what I tell myself?

I tell myself,
I'm in love.

I tell myself,
You were worth every minute, every second
And every tear.

I tell myself,
You're not like any boy I've ever met;
You're amazing.

I tell myself,
You're the most adorable and really cute boy I've ever seen.

I tell myself,
What we've been through,
Has been too much to make me, "Just-another-girl."

I tell myself;
You have no reason to lie to me.

I tell myself,
Yes, perhaps you never will return,
But I'm allowed to hope, aren't I?

I tell myself,
Everything
That I believe
To be the truth.

I remember;

The way we used to talk.
The promises you made.
The sweet things you said,
That I'll always cherish.

I remember;
The cute crush you had
On a girl like me.

I remember;
The cute crush I had
On a boy like you.

I remember;
How you wanted to be with me,
And how you wanted to show me off
Because I was, "Your girl."

I remember;
How much you said you loved me,
How you said you would never leave me,
And how you said you'd never stop loving me.

I remember;
How you left me,
How you went on to her,
And how you broke your promises.

I remember;
The tears that fell,
The words that were said
And the apologies that were thrown around.

I remember,
My miserable weeks;
Feeling sad and alone
Because I had lost you,
And you wouldn't come back to me;
You wouldn't return my love.

But now I sit here and remember;
The things you said last night;
Those words in those texts.
You want me;
I want you;

I sit here and re-read those words in my head.
I said we both wanted each other
And you agreed.
So why you're still with her
Is a mystery to me.

I sit here and remember,
Those old nervous feelings on when we first met,
And I sit here and re-live them.

These nervous feelings of possibly sharing a kiss.

But now I sit here and think,
*It's more than sharing a kiss, that's making me nervous.