Her insides grew fuzzy as he spoke her name,
He always brought a smile to her face.
Her heart melted each time she saw him,
Especially when he flashed his dazzling smile.
From the moment she first kissed him,
She was lost in a deep trance.
Captivated by his dark brown eyes,
She saw the life she’d always imagined:

A man who loves her,
Accepts her for who she is
And all she has been through.
Loves each and every scar,
Physically, emotionally and mentally.
Will always stand by her side,
Do everything he can to provide for her.
Always finds a way to make her laugh,
Notably through the bad days.
Someone to create a family with,
No matter the challenges it may bring.
She is finally safe. She can breathe,
For she is in love.

This time, his eyes are empty —
The only thing staring back is misfortune.
Those beautiful eyes are telling her goodbye,
Just when she thought her search was over.
In this moment her heart shatters,
Leaving behind a gaping hole.
Despite her numerous efforts,
The void he created cannot be filled.

Will she ever find such compelling eyes again?

It comes and goes in waves,
Her feeling of longing.
She stays lost in thought of him,
While he remains oblivious.
So many feelings buried within.
Ease. Casual conversation, making jokes.
The appearance of two people connecting.
A beautiful child asking for the man
She calls daddy, crushing another’s heart.
He has his reality,
There’s no room for her in it.
In failed attempts to move on,
She’s scared to move forward.
I can’t seem to escape. I’m stuck.

“You have to go back”
Is what she tells me.

I want to fight back.
I want to scream at her for all the reasons why

Going back there makes me want to:
Scream
Cry
Throw up from anxiety
Curl up and die

You don’t understand,
I can’t go back to that place.

I have never felt this way about a place before,
And I can’t quite put my finger on it
But I know that it makes me crazy.

I can’t go back.
Please don’t make me go...

A smile even if it's a fake one is the best reaction you can give to the problems life throws in front of you..don't let problems deter or depress you...stay optimistic and fight it out...think of it as like this...'so,for many days i was going through a good phase...now i'm just going through a bad time...no problem..i just need to stay patient and work out a solution..no need to panic or get sad...it will be over soon and life will be bright again.'

Arriving at the event,
His words replay in my head:
“Don’t be shy, be polite,
And just act like a normal person.”

Excuse me, what did you just say?
Act like a normal person?
Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?

How does one act normal?
There’s no such thing as normal.

I think I know what you mean,
But you didn’t use the right words.
You say “act normal” but you really mean
“Blend in, be white noise, don’t stand out.”

How dare you tell me to ‘act normal’.
I want to be many things in life, but normal isn’t one of them.
I want to be brilliant, beautiful, loved, successful,
Talented, joyful, charitable, selfless.

I want to be so many things in this big world,
But normal is not one of them.
I refuse to accept to blend into the crowd.

I’m not normal.
I’m just me.
And I wouldn’t want it any other way.