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 May 2013 Hannah Amara
Tamanna
something about the way your words
roll off your tongue
as stars i'd watch to no end,
while my words
are a fleet of insects, crawling out of my throat
antsy to escape to freedom,

or the way daffodils
grow in every single crack of your spine,
while my spine
contains a variety of weeds sprouting before my eyes,

something about the way you smile in your sleep,
even when the darkest of nightmares arise,
while my dreams are nonexistent,
as much as i'd like them to be,

something about you makes me hate you,
for you are the most lovable creature out there.
i am indifferent about this
 May 2013 Hannah Amara
Teigh
You and I,
are woven pieces of ribbon.
Connected from opposite ends of the globe.
Kept apart by 14 hours,
yet inseparable in our hearts

But we're broken

Ripped apart by circumstance
hearts slashed and wrists soaked red

We can't keep each  other alive
when one of us is already dead

And yet,
neither of us know which

For tho our love for our friendship is infinite

Secrets still lie within.
Everything has changed...
Not a thing remains the same.
Its so sad yet strange...
People you loved become people you hate.
When they change and decide they're better off now.
That turning into a stranger makes them 'unique' somehow.
You changed everything about you, your looks, attitude and personality.
Suddenly it feels like you are an impostor standing before me.
But what shocks me the most,is that you did it right in front of my eyes.
From the closest person to a stranger you became,before i even realized.
I want to believe its an act and will wear off in time.
But its becoming harder to believe as we go on in life.
People say its just a phase, that 'you should simply give them some space'.
But honestly,i don't think i can do it anymore,
You are nothing like you were before.
I keep hoping everyday that the real you will return,
But as days pass your attitude makes my heart ache and burn.
I keep reminding myself of the past we once shared... every-time i'm about to give up and blow.
Back when we were happy,when you actually cared... those long talks with no care for tomorrow.
But the bitter truth hits me and i realize this is just who you are now.
And i swear i'll try real hard to get used to it somehow.
But no matter what changes,whatever you say or do...
i'll always remember 'us' and never let this stranger make me forget the real you.
                              THE 'you' i loved... i really miss you.
your lips,
painted the finest shade of crimson
gently tighten,
preventing the truth from pouring out

your eyes,
lined the smokiest tone of gray
slowly close,
shielding the pain from exposure

your collar bones,
protruding the way you always dreamed of
shy away,
covered by endless scarves

your vertebrae,
resembling the perforations of a page
sink down,
wrapped in layers of fabric

the measures taken
to hide the mess you've become
can't manage to speak louder
than the demons in your head
my thoughts swell from the bottom of my chipped mug
and splatter onto the dog-eared pages of my favorite book

they skip along the rainy streets in a meticulous pattern,
always traveling two steps forward,
one step back

my thoughts dart around that same right corner,
and recall the coy smiles,
searching this time for unread signs

they approach your familiar face with intention,
again trying to see what you do
through those pale eyes

i can’t help but wonder
if your thoughts have wandered
as far as mine
I know how you are.
You yell.
You hit.
You lie.
But I still loved you.

I found out what you did.
You hid.
You cheated.
You hurt me.
But I still loved you.

I put up with a lot.
More than I should have.
For longer than I should have.
Longer than anyone should have.
And now, I'm done.

I still love you.
But I will forget about you.
Most days,
It will be hard.
But it will get easier.

I still love you.
But I will move on.
I will find someone
Who treats me with respect.
I know this is true.

For sixteen months,
you controlled me.
I'm done.
With you.
With us.

I still love you.
But I forgive you.
And will get over you.
I was playing with the wet sand
between my tan feet and pink toes,
feeling the breeze on my shoulder blades
counting how many waves passed in between thoughts of you
thoughts of what I'd come home to,
when someone's voice interrupted your memory.

I looked up to an automatic worried face,
pale white in the Caribbean sun
with scruffy chest hair and a stomach
but the brownest eyes I had ever seen
next to yours in a stunning comparison.


He asked me where I was from
and when the reflection of something American
rang in my voice as I told him my home state,
I saw a little relief in his stature, breathing with ease.
He told me about Boston.
How that's where he's from.
And I was speechless.

After an empty silence, he crossed his arms and sniffed
something staggered and unsure.
That's my kids over there, in the waves
he said quietly with a small gesture
towards two beauties crashing into the water's heaps
their mother close behind.
I smiled wide as he continued to say

They think they're going home tomorrow
but their not.
That place will never be the same.


I could hear my heart break in seven different ways.
They were merely 10.
His wife held her breath as they swam,
knowing the waves were like the world
ebbing and pulling at her creations
and there wasn't much she could do
but reel them in for as long as she could,
before they were cast out again.

He told me how scared he was,
how he feared the faces of humanity
that his kids would have to shield themselves from
if they were ever going to grow up in some security.
I hadn't much to respond with
other than that I was just as scared as he was
and that he was the strongest dad
that he could be for them.

At first I found it weird
that he would put such trust in the pouring of words
to a complete stranger,
but then I realized that maybe that's what he needed after all.
I was the first one he could recognize,
the only one here that would understand
about the crumpled newspapers in his room or the phone ringing off the hook,
the countless emails he'd been through, the muting of the tv
so the kids wouldn't hear too much news
and ruin their innocence to quickly
on a vacation they originally intended
to get away.
But it all came back to them,
harder than anyone would ever wish upon someone.

So I let him weave his worry into my soul,
let him talk me senseless about the coward he felt he was
beneath the good front he was putting on for his family.
I was that somebody he needed to relate.
And I made sure that when he thanked me kindly,
saluted me with a goodbye and a wave
that he knew I would pray for something other than you,
that he was bigger than me
and awfully brave, too.
I met a man in vacation, right when the tragedy struck. I wrote this for him and his family. I hope they're safe.
 May 2013 Hannah Amara
Teigh
I wish I could tell you
That I'm not in love with you
Oh no my dear this isn't the case
For you see,
I'm infatuated with an over-romantacized version of you
Which only truly exists in my daydreams
And it was not you I wrote sweet nothings about
It was my imaginary version of you
The version that loves me back,
For the real you...
Doesn't feel for me anymore.
So my darling, my first kiss, my first date, first slow dance, first small romance
See you in my daydreams.
 May 2013 Hannah Amara
Teigh
Discord
 May 2013 Hannah Amara
Teigh
There's a certain beauty in self destruction

The discord of fall apart

The melody of sobs

The discord of self hatred

There is no melody in insanity
I refuse to cry,
Because i don't want you to be the cause of my pain.
Because if i do, my tear ducts might go dry,
and put the rain to shame.
Because i don't want you to be the reason for my sadness.
Because you definitely don't deserve that.
you were the most cheerful person ive ever met, surrounded by an aura of happiness.
I don't want you to be so great and still break my heart.
Because i don't want you to bring me tears.
Because i don't want to believe you're not going to play your part.
Because i don't want to believe you're really not here.
I don't want to cry because you never let me do it before.
I don't want to cry because it would mean you're not here anymore.
I refuse to cry because that's the opposite of what you'd want me to do.
But i still do cry, because i never realized what i had, because its true...
That i took you for granted and before i knew,
Without a warning you've gone, without a goodbye...
I guess i deserved that, you left leaving me here to cry.
But i'll battle my tears, for you i will try.
Since even though you've gone, you still left me a present like you always used to...
the beautiful memories once a part of my life, i'll always hold onto.
I refuse to cry.
But even as i say those words, i cant help the tear which escapes my eye.
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