Dear Girl,
I really really love you, yes I do.
Not like it used to be, I'm no longer "in love",
It's something different, that I'd never felt before,
But I really really love you,
Dear Girl.

Dear Girl,
I really really mean it, yes I do.
Not "in love" like I used to be, I'm something else,
It's so strange, and I've never felt it before,
But I really really love you,
Dear Girl.

Dear Girl,
I really really mean it, yes I do.
Not like I used to be, I've changed a whole lot,
It's different, my heart doesn't want "in love",
But I really really love you,
Dear Girl.

Dear Girl,
This poem was a long time coming,
But I wrote the story when I didn't know how to be me,
Now wrote the poem when I grew some brains,
But I always really loved you,
Dear.

Sweet Girl,
You didn't deserve those late nights,
Where I killed your insides, when I made you cry and cry and cry,
They made you love me less, they made you numb, and you fell out of love,
But I really really loved you,
Sweet Girl.

Sweet Girl,
I've never been anything you deserve,
You had to pick me up off the floor, and it was more than you needed,
You pieced me together, but the person before you, she sabotaged me,
I had a destruct button you couldn't see,
Sweet Girl.

Sweet Girl,
Neither of us saw it,
We both thought I'd healed, from the awful things that happened to me,
You didn't get to see, but the person you were, you stayed with me,
When I became a nuclear disaster,
Sweet Girl.

Sweet Girl,
I try not to blame,
But you'll never understand how your mother was the Tsunami and Earthquake, and I was Fukushima,
We both didn't see it, but I was a nuclear plant, and meltdown waiting to happen,
The damage was too great, that June,
Sweet Girl.

Sweet Girl,
I never understood,
Even my own actions, because I loved you from the start, and I don't know what happened to me,
But in times before you, people built me, and you just became the new plant operator,
You didn't know I was so unsafe,
Sweet Girl.

Sweet Girl,
Nuclear plants are rather safe,
They just can't handle Tsunamis and Earthquakes, because they're made of materials that crack,
Under that kind of stress, I didn't just crack, I crumbled, I began melting down,
But you didn't know and I'm sorry,
Sweet Girl.

Sweet Girl,
You've been through a lot,
The Tsunami was hard, but you didn't know about the radiation, that it would destroy you,
You were mutated by the horrible conditions you had to live through,
But you didn't know and I'm so very sorry,
Sweet Girl.

My love,
You didn't know it,
But we were both reactors waiting to blow, disasters waiting to happen, to cause destruction,
We mutated each other until we didn't even know who we were,
I'm so very sorry, so so sorry,
My love.

Poor Girl,
I really really try today, yes I do.
Not like I used to try, but now I try to be strong, and not a nuclear reactor but more like carbon fiber,
But carbon fiber is brittle, since you killed me inside,
But I forever love you,
Poor Girl.

Poor Girl,
You've cleared your rubble,
Growing to be the most amazing and beautiful of skyscrapers, you're an inspiration for the world, you know,
You're so much different, standing taller than you'll ever know,
But skyscrapers can fall too,
Poor Girl.

Poor Girl,
You make yourself content,
Being alone, you tell yourself that alone doesn't mean lonely,
That you find peace in the solitude,
But solitude is an empty thing,
Poor Girl.

Poor Girl,
We can pick each other up,
You don't even know, it's not the same kind of picking up that we tried before,
This picking up can only go up,
Because we don't even care to feel sad anymore,
Poor Girl.

Poor Girl,
You don't even know, how much I want to kiss you,
But it's different than before, it's more like the kisses mothers give to children,
When their children are crying, the kind of kisses that make great statements and tell stories,
The stories only kisses can give,
My girl.

Tell me why
Perfection is not the key
But light from head to feet
I see the golden shine
I question the desire at times
For me and you is what your feeling true
No unreasonable words with no meaning
Simply the feelings straight out of the blue

I stick my head in the clouds
As opening up to someone is hard to do
Maybe your there as no one else appears
A chance to change and accept faith for who is maybe saint
What you deserve is a lady that is the same
From eye to eye
Things will come true
For not only me but also
you

Therefore tell me why
As I try to open up
I decide to hide
In shame I cover my eyes  
Tell me why I feel this way
My shame stays the same.

I can't remember
If I loved you -
You, the woman
Who held me
Inside herself,
Watering me with her blood
So that I could grow
Until you were too small for me.  

There is an injustice
When you can leave
As though I am nothing,
While I am left to remember
That I couldn't exist
Without you.  

The thought leaves me bending,
Under my resentment -
Not just for you -
For all mothers, all fathers.  
For everyone.  

And that means myself,
And I fear that soon I may crack,
My rage bubbling up,
Ready to burn,
But before I begin to destroy
Water will leak out,
And I will curl in on myself,
Hardening like stone
Until that is all I am.  

I remember bits and pieces
Of you motherhood
And my childhood.  
They aren't bad.  

Sitting in the harsh morning light
You sleep, and I watch a film
About a girl who wants home,
Even if it's grey,
And in my hands rested a bowl of letter soup.  
I swear I saw the word "Mommy" in the broth.  

Running in the low light
Of a southern evening
My bare feet are tickled by blades
Of coarse grass, damp from the summer heat,
And I laugh
Because I hold wriggling stars
And I know you are there
But I cannot remember if your face held a smile.  

I did not know how to sleep
Without having nightmares
So I wandered
In the shadows left by candlelight
Until I found you
At the door, the scent of
Shellfish and beer clinging to your uniform;
Your hand, in between rough and soft,
Grasped my own
And led me to the couch
Where I would watch a flickering box
While you slept.  

These fragments
Glint like shards of glass
Embedded in my head
Refracting light
So that my skull is full of
Shadow.  

They aren't bad,
So why did you give them up?

You refused to make the break
Clean,
Choosing not to leave,
                  not to stay -
You had us
Jagged.  

I saw you,
But less and less
Until it became never
And you became nothing
More than a photograph
Exposed to sunlight
Before it had a chance to develop.  

I'm scared,
Because now I cannot remember
What your voice sounds like,
Or what your face looks like,
And you have taken the word mother
And you have made it something I cannot say
Without my heart ignoring my head,
Beating away in my chest with the knowledge that
I am unwanted
By a woman I cannot even remember.  

At night,
When the smell of the moonlight
Wafts in through my window
I still cannot sleep -
I suppose you were meant to teach me -
And I ask myself,
In the dark, because sometimes
It is better when you cannot see the words,
Have you forgotten me too?

I'm not sure
What love is
Because I've never
Felt fireworks
Nor have I heard
Heralding angels
Blowing tunes of the heart
In my lonely ears.  

I've read about it;
How it's like fire
Like whirlwinds,
Like fast cars,
Like earthquakes,
Like lightning,
Like falling.

If that's the case
I don't want it
Not when what it is
Will take my ribs
And invert them,
Snapping my bones
Like twigs beneath the heel
Of an unsuspecting boot,
Treating my heart like a tomato
Too red and ripe to do anything but burst
With a gossamer touch.  

I want love to be
Like sunlight, candles, fireflies
Like stars
Like wine -
Better with time -
Like clean dish soap
Like buttered popcorn
Like winter breath
Like leaves.  

Because I know,
At least I think I do,
That love is beautiful,
Not because it is perfect
Or happy, or new, or dangerous -
But because it is flawed,
It's a freckle on Life's plain face,
The gold dust dust caught on camera,  

I find myself wondering
How I would be
In love
Because surely
My love,
The kind that's slow,
And cold and quiet,
Isn't right.  
It's not some car to speed
Down the curve of a midnight road
Only to flip -
It's the skid marks.  

It's wrong,
It's not Romeo and Juliet,
It's not Jack and Rose,
It's not Bonnie and Clyde,
It's not Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  
It's a curious child
Finding a dandelion
And, as the seeds blow away,
They try to catch them.  

I guess I'll do my best
To fall
But, in my descent,
I'll be thinking
Of you
As I listen to the
Slow, cold beating
Of my broken heart.

I want someone that understands me.
Someone who gets that Jack Daniels taste like water,
gets that sleep never comes easy.
Someone who knows whats it like to have crazy inspiration at 3:30 in the morning,
who understands the reference, 'Lets do the time warp again'
I need someone who wont get upset at me for ranting about the difference on
   Hollywood films vs Indie films
Someone who is as obsessed with coffee,
who gets my love affair for Grunge music.
Someone to understand that its ok to cry,
that I would cry with them.
Who gets that I am a free spirit and will not try to tie me down..