no, you didn't ruin my life,
you ruined "me" instead

The glistening wind lowers itself like a blanket on to the tiny blades of the grass.
I shade my eyes from the sun.
As if my tiny hands compared to the sun could cloak the truth underneath the omnipresence of this morning star.
Sometimes the hardest things to see are the ones that are in plain sight.
Shrouded by emotions we choose to let lead us as we roam through our existence .
for there is no shade in the shadows , and no place to hide from the sun,
it can make your eyes tear, just like the truth does sometimes.
there is no hiding from that either.

the truth is like the sun, you can't seem to hide from it , and they both can bring tears to your eyes when you see the light

The reason

A truest friend , an inspiration for all that is good in the world , she's held a piece of my heart for as long as I can remember ,
A reason to love at all ,
Her fingerprints are on the seeds.
Planted by her wisdom , fertilized with direction.
She,
She ,churned the creativeness into my soul by her example.
Her own blood courses through my veins, as she watches the gardens I have created with my words.
Landscapes , paintings , travels.
Sunshine and storms.
Nourished from the roots embedded from the foundation she had instilled within me.
For she is the reason I can write , she is the reason I can see the good in all there is.
She is the reason I have hope.
For without her , I just simply would not be.
I close my eyes and prepare to pen again , paint another world , another scene , another story , and give thanks to the reason i can ,
through love and heartbreak , highs and lows ,
She was always there ,
She is always there
Different words , and different times, decades later
She sees herself in my world,
She is the reason ,
Planted seeds , and simply passed along ,
A writer
A mother , to her son

"I wonder If she'll ever know , she'll never know another love like mine , and I'll never know another love at all "

Napkin

I see the discarded paper napkin burrowed  on the floor amidst a pile of other useless *******  , its purpose exhausted , the lips,it had been brushed against no longer have  the desire for its use , what once laid atop the table outstretched, and always eagerly available  , but never noticed unless it was called upon , or if it wasn't around , it had given its entire being, just  to serve for someone  , and all it had received for making itself available at a moments notice , is a lonely place on the floor next to the trash can , a crumpled ball of discarded nothing , tossed away without even a thought , no more lips to touch,or fingers to caress , just a worthless napkin , alone .....,except for the rest if the trash .......... and as I contemplate my thoughts  , I keep thinking to myself ...and then ,say out loud ,
" I know, how you feel " ........

Breath

Suffocating amidst her absence and yet now able to breathe
Yet in still drowning in grief ,
I inhale the void she left behind with her indifference.
Indifference, what took me to the now .
Although she needed both hands to hold my heart , she could not free them both to grasp it.
Despite her name inscribed on its walls, she couldn't get her initials off the other, to handle mine.
I don't wanna hurt anymore.
Tears amass in the pit of my stomach ,
Bottled up dreams disappearing into the eye of the whirlpool trembling in my gut.
As I too tried to hold in against the current.
But I grew tired , tired if trying to hold in to something that didn't wanna stay.
I stopped struggling  
She let me go
Only to implode into my own peril as I let the eddy pull me under.
No more , do I sit in wonder
From the commitment she couldn't keep.
I find myself drowning with her indecision
And suffocating , now that she has.
My heart can't stay afloat in pieces
And she let go of my heart, because of a heart she couldn't let go of .