I can remember so much.
Why do I feel like I missed it all.

Love is asylum.
Friendship is courage.
Money is sanctuary.
Faith is dependence.
Conviction is hope.
Music is magic.

What has life taught me?

To eat my vegetables.
To kiss like I'm eating an ice cream cone.
To make others laugh.

Snort.

I hate the first few minutes of waking up.
It feels like I've been tricked.
Conned.
Duped.
My escape thwarted.

Careful when you find a friend.
It's the most precious thing you will ever discover.

Can we kiss on Friday?

( Yes I said this in grade six)

The theory of Reality.
The theory of Knowledge.
The theory of Value.

And yet we don't even know if we exist.

Life is complicated.
Consciousness is sticky stuff.
Our path is predetermined.
Enjoy the ride.

Determinism. It's science.

Imagine a nearly infinite number,
Of domino pieces standing on end.

The big bang tipped over the first one.

If words were jellybeans on burnt toast,
I'd eat them raw, a bag at most,
I'd share them with my neighbour's ghost,
Who lives in a barn that smells.

If punctuation was a warrior's code,
With secret meanings meant to implode,
I'd message you before I explode,
My last words are I love you.

If definitions were a secret chant,
I'd yak all night about Emmanuel Kant,
The meaning of life my boring rant,
And I have puddles for shoes .

Please forgive and never forget,
A poet at play has no regrets,
Smiling, happy, a marionette,
I'll share my donuts with you.

Where is your shift, my love, my bait
Your halo magic button,

That panther look pooled in your eyes,
You're risking up to somethin'.

Will you purr and arch your back,
Whiskers whisper caution,

Come to me my baby star,
With your kiss that gently hardens.

Can I count and can I dream,
Or wish upon a star,

Dreamin' bout your sour-sweet,
My thoughts are so bizarre.

Come to me,my dream date girl,
Make me man up right,

Love is on the menu now,
A  dark and moonless night.

We must dance,
With flowers in our hair,
Like the hippies at Woodstock.

We must dance,
Intimate and exposed,
By the rhythm and the beat.

We must dance,
Naked and aroused,
As we touch, taste and tempt.

We must dance,
Tonight

A grain of sand.

Has 48,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms.

One grain.

Get high, get low,
Get up, get slow.
It really doesn't matter what you know.

We are insignificant.
We are expendable.
We are footprints in the snow.

Determinism. It's scientific.

At the moment of the big bang,
Every particle in the universe,
Began its journey.

Each on a predictable path.
Physics.

That means the future is set.
We cannot change it.

And the past is the only past that could have ever been.

You are not to blame.
You cannot change things.

But you have to act as if you can.

Your past is not your fault.

Consciousness.
We are in this together.

Enjoy.

To understand happiness,
I sit calmly on a park bench,
And watch children play.

There is an  abundance of joy,
In their laughter and their tears.

We need touch.
Skin to skin contact with others.

Oddly when we touch someone else, it tells us we are real.
Touch is our most powerful form of self awareness.

Weird huh.

Do not spend too much time on your why.

It's your how that will make all the difference.

Is it a sign of the times,
That my phone knows me better,
Than anyone else ever will.

We can hide who we are,
But only from ourselves.

Others see us much more clearly.
Know thyself.
It is a difficult thing to do

I want to feel nothing.
For just a minute,
I want to feel nothing at all.

Please.

Can we feel another's pain.

Yes of course.

It is exactly the same as yours.

Pain unites us.

Run away.
Run far away and do not look back.

If you do the bear will catch you.

Stop.
Just stop.

NO

Please do not feel sorry for me.
I am broken yes.

But no more than millions of others.

Life is unasked for,
And yet here we are.

My family was a jig saw puzzle,
And I was always the missing piece.

Always.

Tears are not sadness.
Empty eyes are.

I keep waiting for this other me,
To arrive and take over.

Where is he?

Every person I meet,
My first instinct,
Is to apologize.

I'm sorry.
Please forgive me,
I should have done better.

My father hated me.
I think I was a mistake.

I should have said I'm sorry,
And wandered far away.

I never once saw my mother cry,
Even as I held her hand while she died.

And yet she was the saddest person I have ever known

I once fell off a horse,
And hit the ground so hard I could not breathe.

Later in the same day, an empty swing,
In a playground.
Hit me right in the forehead.

We weren't tougher back then.
We were alone.

When I was 7,
A firecracker blew up in my hand.

Oddly in taught me nothing.
I think I'm a slow, stubborn twig.

I guess it finally has.

When I hold your hand,
Only then I do not wonder,
About the meaning of it all.

In life we are alone.
Only death touches all.

I can't find the logic,
In a life lived in fear.

So I fantasize.
And pretend to conquer all the ghosts.

Inside me there is a madness.
A calm, calculating insanity,
That prowls for weakness.

I must be strong or die.
There are only two choices.
Ever.

I've reached a certain point in life,
Where nothing matters much,
I play with words and pontificate,
As age becomes my crutch.

In my head I'm still awake,
The world a simple place,
Get up, get dressed, get moving dude,
Beware a fall from grace.

So what's been learned in all these years,
What message can I give.
Empathy is god's special gift,
It is yourself, you must forgive.

Can an ****** be an apple,
A shiny bright red treat,
Or is a ****** all alone,
A way to calmly cheat.

Love yourself, the collective says,
Touch you own heart first,
I must have missed the understood,
Let loose with my outburst.

Is being single such a curse,
Should I dance alone at dawn,
I miss her every day, I do,
She was the one that I count on.

Is it enough to be desired,
Must we always be first kissed,
Can a smile and a nod,
Tell us we exist.

I walk amongst the strangers,
Shadows on a wall,
When will I now realize,
That my fears are oh-so small.

Talk to the others,
They are tired and alone,
Find a new friend waiting,
And put away your phone.

Scream and shout, let your feelings out,
Curl and winge, let your body cringe,
Hide your eyes, smile wide within,
Head up boldly and  take it on the chin.

But most of all, there's no more pretending,
The world isn't cold and it isn't upending,
There is more good, more right than wrong,
So stand up tall and be iron man strong.

Why do we bother, where is the win,
Can we ever be happy, is pleasure a sin.

I'm sorry, not sorry to strangers and kin,
My battle is fierce and always within.

Soon we are gone and eternity wins,
A scarecrow, a lion, a man made of tin.

Why do we fear,
Those who come near,
The suspect of guile,
In a careful coy smile,

How can we  tell,
Who casts the spell,
Clever impostors
Suspicion well fostered.

**** the so cautious,
**** all of loves' losses,
I'll take my chances,
On life's reckless romances

Advised to read and write and count,
Told by all I would amount,
Abstract knowledge was the gain,
The life you lead will be less pain.

Educate my grandpa said,
Study life until you're dead,
Critical thinking means a struggle,
Your options always will be a juggle.

So I ventured out into the world
Assuming truth would be unfurled,
And I found a madness that prevailed,
I stumbled often and usually failed.

Until one day a princess said,
Just do the next right thing instead,
And since that moment wakened me,
Being kind has set me free.

There are 43 quintillion atoms in a single grain of sand.

That's a 43 followed by 18 zeroes.

In one grain. Of sand.

So when we set off a nuclear bomb.

Which is 150 lbs of uranium.

All the atoms in the uranium will burst open almost simultaneously,

Like a gigantic  horde of little gas filled balloons.

A Billion times a billion of exploding firecrackers

That will create a 100 million degree fireball,

Which is five times hotter than the center of the sun,

That will blow through your neighborhood at 1000 kilometers per hour,

Leveling every man-made structure and vaporizing every living thing.

So size really doesn't manner.

Who we choose to lead us does.

The solid inner core of the earth
Grows by about a millimeter each year.

Wish mine did the same.

There are over 2 trillion galaxies in the small bit of the universe,
We can observe.

Each galaxy has a billion stars, probably more.
And yet the night sky is dark. Why?

Because most of the universe is empty, void.
A quiet vacuum of unoccupied space.

We are not alone.

Odd place for  funeral, She said, as she took her seat on the merry-go- round.

Life is a carousel, He replied, and sat down beside her.

The seasons and the wheels go round and round, She smiled.

And in the end we send in the clowns, He remarked and leaned over to kiss her gently on the lips.

I walk head up, with shoulders back,
A stride with pride, bold eye contact,
Don't ever doubt my will or flair,
I have no fear and I will not scare.

**** me now, I bear my thoughts,
Threaten me, take your best shot,
I will not bend to hate or shame,
Each is equal, each the same.

Can you tell me your story in one word or two,
Have you lived a best life with a sharp point of view,
I will summarize mine in a quick turn of phrase,
I longed for each Friday, dreading Monday's malaise.

Have you ever killed anyone?

Not knowingly.

Have you ever hurt someone so badly that they wanted to **** themselves?

Yes.

Have you told more than 1000 lies in your life?

Yes, I'm sure I have.

Have you ever turned your back on someone who needs help.

Every day.

How do you live with yourself?

I rent space in my head. The lease is up soon.

My mother told me she spent all of her life with the wrong person, He said to her casually.

Your father, She replied with her eyebrows raised.

No, herself, He responded and finished putting the groceries away.

I cannot stop the slip and slide,
I pretend a choice, no place to hide.
The world spins round the same each day,
I sit and wonder, my thoughts at play.

There's no free will, it isn't there,
The physics firm, no why, no where,
The past is the only past allowed,
The future set, the science proud.

So if your life is just a map,
The route laid out,your death the trap,
Then worry less and laugh out loud,
Your date is set, no tears allowed.