Sadness in the ink of night,
Memories restless soon take flight,
Night time is my darkest joy,
Time is just  a tic tok ploy.

Dreams that linger, friendships gone,
Carefree days had smiles and song.
I've lived a life that makes me think,
And now I sleep close to the brink.

I will not try harder.
Anymore.

This is me.

I will no longer improve,
Or promise to do better

This is me.

I will not kneel to a god,
Or bow to an idea,
Or cower in the shadow of the ordained.
No. Never.

This is me

I will not beg for love,
Or cry for forgiveness.
Or apologize for my thoughts.

This is me.

I'm the best that I can be.
And I'm ok with that.

This is me

Trauma isn't memories.

It's the inability to turn things into memory.

What hurt's us most.

Lingers.

When you suggested we play hide and seek,
I did not realize you were talking about your emotions.

I don't want to be happy,
It's a selfish pursuit,
I'd rather be helpful,
Like a firm fitting boot.

Stable and caring,
With a sole that endures,
Laced up and ready,
A steadfast that assures.

We fear only death,
All else is this.
One single fear,
And we will obsess.

One shred of advice,
Given to myself,
Overcome fear,
And we conquer all else.

To fall in love once is enough.

Thereafter dreams will come easy,
And you will never again, need to ask why.