I had been listening to the bullfrogs for hours.
It was three a.m. and they were loud.
I was standing on the side of the road.
Two lane highway.
Hitch-hiking

I was desperate.
No sorry I was ******.
I get the two confused.

I hadn't seen a car in over an hour.
I would cross over to what ever direction
The headlights were coming from,
And stick my thumb out.

I just wanted a ride.

Look,
I learned late in life,
That lying is how you play the game.

It was only after her,
That I fully grasped
The importance of deception.

It never mattered how I felt,
Nor what I thought,
As I lay awake at night wondering where she was.


What mattered in the end was the myth.
The fable, the mime-silent girl at our table
How can I put a million pieces of us back together.

How.

Can we try?

How desperate my life has become,
As I fall out of love with myself,
And into everything that's you.

How cruel my life has become,
My thoughts are thick with razor's thin,
Could I brave myself for you.

How short my life has become,
I hope-hide and watch you sleep and breathe and dream
Could I die for you.

So we begin.
The age of artificial intelligence.

Blockchain.
The rich will find a way around it.

Robots
One will be your lover.

Your face recognized,
Your identity, your transgressions,
Your every parking ticket on view

The Thought-Police will know everything.
You will not die from disease.
They will all be cured.

You will not work.
You will not be needed,
In any real way.

Peasants and overlords again.

Alien slaves, slaves to aliens.

Multi-verse.

Our entire universe
Exists within the single brain cell
Of who?

It doesn't matter.
Stop caring.

Explore love and tolerance.
They won't exist much longer

Harsh words,
A slap, a fist,
A kick, a twist.

Emotions are ******* physical she whisper- hissed.
And punched me in the cheek.

Bruise me, she begged
And drew a bit of blood,
With her slightly deformed knuckle.

I want to feel, please,
She pleaded with me,

Whip me, strip me, shadow both my eyes,
And she pulled my hair violently.

I cannot love, she said.
So please beat me and wear me down
Until I'm too exhausted to **** myself.

Do you understand, she demanded,
And she pulled the skin under my eye
Hard and
Away from my face
Hideously painful.

I want to die,
I want to cry,
I want to tell endless lies,
I want to despise,
And criticize,
Humiliate and trivialize.

I want to die, she said.

It doesn't matter.
What you do,

Or who you imitate,

Or how eagerly you listen and behave,
It does not matter.


You are alone.

You will always be alone.

You will live alone,
You will die alone,

And be forgotten forever.

You do not matter.
At all.
Ever.

You are free.

Candy canes and caramel cookies, Christmas cards confess,
Pretty paper patterns, pleasing presents to possess,
Charming chatter, church and chamber, chomp a warm cholent,
Rest and read, recharge, reseed, rethink ,reform, repent.