we kissed like
that last bit
of drunken innocence
could cauterize
our wounds

but instead
we bled into each other
your sighs filled my
hunger
and you didn't know
that those scars were new
and I wanted
you to pretend
I wanted to
pretend for you

but really
I wanted to be full
and your lips were warm
and wanting you
was nothing new
and two hours of sleep
was plenty
for another day
of our pretending

every time I write
it's like my fingers have to
dance around your memory
sweeping your substance
under my keys
not even an ounce
unearthing you
could so easily swallow me

too much
is still only
a matter of when

something has clogged
my truth within me
rusted pipes
deny me
my iv drip of honesty
the syllables that used to slip
right out
now crawl
with the echoed
tip tap
of blind rats
finding their way
to light

forgetting you (us)
is like trying
to bury a legend

you're tangled in
strangling tugs of
heartache
break right through to
the last wall left
dangling the taste of
what was left to love
fall right ahead
to your first footsteps
take it slow
you're rushing into
your sense of nothing

Too many deep breaths
feels like desperation
You bleed through other people
you're an expert on salvation
The horizon of your hips
is by far my favorite mystery
Temptation told me tales of
our impossible history
it just hit me
you don't mind sunrise
because morning aren't
saturated, stained with goodbyes
I want to know your
when, how and why's
Where your worries go
at the end of the night
Then I could take your misunderstanding
as love
Because it can't be understood
so much as coveted
and
There's something in my past
that makes my head not grasp
why I ended up surrounded
by a world of destructed evolution
You can be my problem
I've had enough solutions
Too many left and forgotten
Too many ways to get lost
I may not be whole again
tangled in your fantasy
So captured in my abandon.