the broken rush
resonates through my skull
reminiscent of heavy footsteps
My nightmares
all returning
climbing onto my chest
weighing me down
I wouldn't dare open my eyes
terrified
Daddy said I would forget
well he was wrong
and so was I
to twist my subconscious into lies
creating a getaway
So my monsters followed me to the grave
so it seems
and nobody is left to save me
do the terrors win?
is this really the end?
the weight on my chest
sinks deep
into my heart it bends
If its over
might as well
see the creatures
dragging me to hell
with my last breath
my final moment
it will be said
that my eyes were open

purpose
becomes a slipping memory
I forget the ways my joints used to move
to put pen to paper
and let loose my imagination
my heart
my soul
my unknown longings
I am lacking
but I've lost the ability to find out how
investing in passion
losing sight of my drive
I despise
everything that leaks out of my mind
come back
let me be
once again

No possessive pronouns here
sick and tired of "I"
what exists, what doesn't
no one wonders why

bad habits and dreams
create the self aware
when greater power is knocking
no one's really there

Time is a concept
what if we're proved wrong?
What if minutes were
non existent all along?

we've trapped ourselves
a convict of our convictions
there's only one way out
believe in the fiction

free your mind
from the basis of "you and I"
no boundaries
of space and time

no consequential counting
no winners of your race

once you remember how to think
you'll already be last place.

Frustration
  seeping through my muscle
unnamed expressions of
    that new human emotion
       its older than most
what are we compared to?

I breathe air like it's impossible to swallow
    a paradox
forgetting the fond memories

left with the ones that tear at the seams
     (nothing is as it seems)
It's art
even the horrific
long lost
  repressed

hiding under quilts
of ignorance
of silent disdain

All we have is now
you'll keep me afloat
but never teach me how
knots in my throat,
I'm guilty
reading your scribbled love notes
I'll beg you to stay with me.
Pinky promise on the train
we're headed towards anywhere
they called us insane
but I think we discovered
a new truth in our love
I've been lost and recovered
and we laugh from above
the borders aren't there
the wards are so small
breathe in the frosty air
we won't go down at all
we're flying high
like the stars we idolized
and as we left the ground
we knew our secrets wouldn't be found.

My mouth moves in a lonely way.
My breath knows no idea of continuity.
I believe only in the narcissistic consumption of thought.

Is that art?

You confessed to sinning in the womb.
But on your grave, there will be no roses.
Nothing left for your bones.
Just steps sending you shivers.
Taunting you.
Can this last?
My hair tangles in the stale air, and I bite my lips, trying to calm their dancing.
They whisper my poorly kept secrets.

This is ours, this empty home.
With polaroids of strangers on the wall.
A mattress that moans as you slump down.

Its been a long day.

Stained glass reflections on my face as I lean against the window pane.
I watch the ways your pupils contract as they meet mine across the bare room.
You down your coffee from this morning, too sweet, making you scrunch up your nose.
Like electric molasses it moves down your throat, it’s taste on your lips.
Where mine were last night.

My mouth is in motion, and you hear my intentions with a filter of hope.

This is a letter
To you

My thoughts are hectic
They bleed through my sinuses
Asking me to give up
Never! My heart screams
But my gut agrees
It aches to slip back into emptiness
I yearn to shrink away
Like I have in my dreams

I feel eyes on my spine
Making me doubt my sadness
An angel drops with the beat of my drum

Children are screaming
They don't know what to do with their hands

There's an esoteric understanding of the stars
And their shimmer

Did you witness the jump?
Do you consume your lust?
I live, in a cryptic sense.
Tear out the pages that remind you of home
We're dusty and unused
Blurring at the edges
Like monochrome photographs

Clasp your hands and cover your eyes
Covering you from the pouring lies

Overdose on oxygen
Keeping you alive until it decides you should die
It's reminiscent of your pessimistic outlook

I have nothing else to say.