I feel like a shadow of your chaos
following in time
stepping carefully through the rubble
the things you've left behind
so precious to some
mean so little to us
we run and we run
leaving everyone in our wake
I'm so fond of the way
you hold my hands when they shake
you taste like soaking sugar cubes
sickly sweet something I remember
we'll never see another summer or december
this is our finale

terrified, that you're gone already
when you're not here, my heart feels heavy
my mouth tastes acidic
without your stubborn kisses
curl my shoulders and clench my fist
oh how I hate this distance
it gets colder as you stay quiet
you didn't promise that you'd never lie
this feels uneasy and I don't know why

you hesitate...... making me question
everything that I want to believe in
I'm learning to trust, you're my test
to see if I'm better, to see my best
my fingers search for your hair to caress
I guess I just miss you
nothing more nothing less

Then again, I know this is much more
I'm scared I'll be alone again, fighting my war
I'm worried that if you left, I'd have nothing to fight for

I don't want to need you
I detest dependance
But without you beside me, nothing seems to make sense

I'm letting down my walls, but keeping my shell
before these few months, I was living in hell
I'm changing my ways for you, can't you tell?
I refuse to slip back into the place where I fell

I guess I just want to be worth your time
to be beautiful for you, so you stay mine

I'm a constant battle over this
I want to starve, live off of cigarettes and your kiss
on the other hand, I know where that will lead,
I need to keep fighting
I won't let you see me bleed.

The times I hate
The day is done
I know a lie
When I’m being raised by one

Bittersweet
almost metallic
your fingers pull me closer
I can't wait anymore
let's digress
into the silence
of understanding
fill in the cracks
while you calm my tremors
Find a new sense of serenity
that I never thought was meant for me
when I found you
I realized you were missing
don't leave me
but don't make promises
that you can't keep
I know that you're under
these starry nights,
with or without me.

Your lips taste like ocean air
I kiss your scars
Trying to hear your story
I shudder with the honesty
Of your salted breath
Your waves crash around me
Encase my curved body
With your fluid hands

In the silence you come to comprehend me
In the space between words
I hear what you mean
I caress your jaw
It feels like a memory

Terrified
Thrilled
With new love electric

Things go so fast
But so it goes
I'll find time
To put a name to how we fit together
So imperfect

Yet I feel at home in the waves
I wonder if I'm worth it
I gasp
I ache for breath
But I'll drown before I pull away

There's no getting tired
Discovering you, entire
So I inhale
Your ocean air

Confusion
sink
you loved me, I think
I am the weakest link
in this false democracy

**** your hypocrisy
I'm getting out of my head
I'll be back when we're dead
everywhere that you tread

time is ticking
distance is tricking
you into oblivion
the war that noone won
you're still fighting but we're done

it's laughable, your pride
the tension in your stride
the pathetic ways you hide

we're right behind you
until you see us
it won't be true

don't look back.

poisoned
like leaves falling from the oak tree
by your parents house when you were young
were you young?
do you remember
lemonade days and summer haze
left alone
to your fears and voices
to your hatred filled choices
poisoned
like gasoline leaking from that rusty truck
parked in our secret place
with no explanation
ruining the make believe
poisoned
like the baby bird you found
cold and still
and heartbreakingly small
we've been poisoned
and no one gives a ****