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Katy May 2020
I gave you hold of my soul
But I never thought you’d let go

Now I’m lost here on my own
Questioning if I loved you too much or not enough

The days keep bleeding together
I barely noticed the change in the weather

Cause I’ve been cold since the day you left
Katy May 2020
I used to love winter
But that’s changed
It was winter when I fell for you
I fell faster than the blanketing snow
We were a blizzard of emotions
When it all calmed down we made it out of the storm
But we were distances apart on completely opposite sides

Spring set in early that year
It seemed to have brought you with it
Yet I remained detached for my own good
I’d always give in too easy and get my hopes up
Just to be torn down and crushed

When summer eased its way in
You somehow found a crack in my walls
And made your way back in
And I let you, because I thought after all the time that had passed things would be different
For awhile it was

Until the clouds began to cover overhead
I thought they’d be short lived
But weeks passed and they never budged
Then came the strikes of lightning all around me
Your shouts of thunder followed, rattling my bones
I saw a flash, fled for cover but couldn’t find a safe place
As the last stroke of lightning hit me
Leaving me stunned

I look at the scars left behind now
Sometimes they feel like they’ll burst open again
It wouldn’t take much most days
But I’m realizing more and more we’ll never have our season
It’s probably better that way
Katy May 2020
Everyone around you sees your story in black and white
.
.
.
But remember, you’re living it in full color
Katy May 2020
I adopted many bad habits

As a coping mechanism

For an unhealthy relationship
Katy May 2020
The dead don’t haunt me
Those aren’t the ghosts that keep me up at night

It’s the living that appear in the corners of my room
Lurking in the moonlight
They steal my sleep as they creep closer to my bed

Eventually climbing right on in
To ensure I’m aware they don’t intend on leaving
Regardless of the physical distance I’ve put between us

They terrify me more than the dead
Because they can’t be put to rest
Katy May 2020
While you fill your guts with liquor
I’ll be filling mine with tea

You’ll be out late
I‘ll be in my bed no later than ten, fast asleep

We’ll both be up in the morning
But I’ll be the only one at peace
I made no mistakes
I have no regrets from my night

While you wake up to a headache from hell
And a girl in your bed
That for one second has you smiling

Until she turns over and you realize she isn’t me
Katy May 2020
You deserve to live your life without counting the days
They say your mind is slipping from you
So maybe you won’t have the torture of your days being numbered filling your thoughts
But it will be filling mine

It already is

With that comes the weight of knowing one day you won’t recognize my face
Or remember my name

That at the end I’ll be a stranger to you
Standing at your bed side
It makes me sad to imagine that my presence may bring you more fear than it will comfort
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