Beauty
entrances every ear
every surface:
engulfs it within the
flames that were sacrificed
from one hundred lighters
****** up towards the sky
with a mite that stirs
our joy awake
with a mite that seems to consume
every fiber of our being
in its brilliance

and we connect to the power
laid before us,
given to us at the sound of a yell
--a scream so defiant
it could break anything
but the voice
and the essence
of our prayers:
the prayers to carry us away
with these lyrics,
these notes and melodies,
to carry us away
in hopes of finding something better
--something euphoric--
within these songs.

We are not disappointed
in our search.

I'm sure you go
days
without thinking about me
just as I go
weeks
without even considering
your name
but I know we both remember
the minutes
full of each other
that crept up
unexpectedly,
seconds at a time.

he's got a sad soul
with clocks wound around his wrists
tick-tocking for me.

I refuse to believe in the mere thought
that I will wake up tomorrow feeling
like my body has survived one thousand
hits, one thousand bruises, because God knows
surviving first consists of living, and
He and I both know I've just barely lived.
We both know existing is the closest
I'll ever be to feel fully alive.

It's as if Satan came and took my soul
that was once wrapped in innocence and hope,
tore it apart, left it ****** and raw,
sprinkled salt on my bare and open wound,
sealed it with anger and euphoric pain,
returned it to my body, ordered it
to destroy me from the inside out, and
watched me--earnestly--cave in like a corpse.

I loved you because
you understood
me

now you don't understand
and for some strange reason
I love you
more.

If walls could talk
they would say I dream of you
much too often,
and if corners could speak
they would pour over the fact that
I spend too much time beside them,
writing words I'll never show a soul,
and if stars could holler down to earth
they would announce just how many times
I've turned to them,
wishing for talking walls and corners

--solely so I could remain
an introvert.

You make me whole
in ways I cannot comprehend,
in ways that I am forced to keep inside
because once they are physically spoken,
it seems as if they are inadequate descriptions
of how I really feel.

You make me whole
in ways I cannot comprehend,
like how one cannot fathom
each constellation
and how every star plays its
significant role,
like how one refuses to decipher
the ringing of their guitar
as the sound fades into that of
energized atoms
which make up the air around
each vibration.

You make me whole
in ways I cannot comprehend,
in ways that are too grand
for as average a mind as mine,
although I hope to have enough time
to wrap my head around
the idea of being complete
*--if there ever comes such a day.

Oh, I love you,
wish you well,
hope and pray
that life ain't hell
for your pretty eyes.

'Cause there's a devil in disguise
'round this town,
hides in buildings
broken down,
So Baby, don't you dare
go where
the sun don't shine.

Keep your heart safe
'cause the devil's taken mine.
Oh God, he's taken mine.

[chorus:]
I'm falling
down, down where
no light lives there--I'm scared
Baby, but let me go
I know
you'll come out of this alive.
Oh Darling, you'll be fine.

What doesn't **** you
builds you up
--the rest would ****
to make a couple bucks--
but you've got eyes
to guide you up,

and when it feels
like you could give a **** less
I hope, I pray
that you confess
the fears that drag you down
from this town.

And with poison in our lungs,
sorrow on our tongues,
we'll say goodbye
yeah, we'll fly,
but for now
I'm falling

[2nd chorus:]
down, down where
no light lives there--I'm scared
Baby, but let me go
I know
you can make it out alive.
Oh Darling, you'll be fine.

I'm hearing you scream
from across the room
Oh, I wish I didn't have to
go so soon
But Lover, my last advice to you
is to close your pretty eyes
hide them from the devil in disguise.

Yeah, he's still roamin'
'round this town
so keep your distance--
he's vicious now;
He's got his own eyes on
why I sacrificed
myself, myself.

[chorus:]
I'm falling
down, down where
no light lives there--I'm scared
Baby, but let me go
I know
you'll come out of this alive.
Oh Darling, you'll be--

[2nd chorus:]
I'm falling
down, down where
no light lives there--I'm scared
Baby, but let me go
I know
you can make it out alive.
Oh Darling, you'll be fine.

You'll be fine.
Oh Lover, you'll survive.

People are dying
children are crying
and Mommy's weeping
while Daddy's sleeping
then there's me:
too scared to flee
so I'm stuck here
in an atmosphere
that's filled with death;
why can't I rest?
The clock is ticking
as I am thinking
and my heart pounds
as gunshot sounds
and with every beat
I think I'll meet
the heavens.

I thought I was
exceptional
at this
not excellent
but
exceptional,
okay,
average.
And now I feel
useless,
unintelligent,
too undeniably unworthy
to even hold
a
pen.

Crisp moonlight
invites the river waves
to crash upon these heavy rocks
that line the dock
and I look up
past the boards,
past your face that looks down at me
with overwhelming
neverending
love
at the sky that transferred
from light golds and soft pinks
to a deep navy blue
within the past hour.
Silver specks are sprinkled
behind silhouetted wisps,
a plane soars through the
new evening
where is it going?                                                        
away from you.                                                          
and for once
I'd rather stay grounded
because these wooden boards
are where
you
lay

*with
me.

The darkest clouds were once so blue
but now amidst the dismal hue
I am only able to pray
that all your worries wash away;
before the rain develops floods
and empties out your pride and blood
--before the thunder drowns your cries
of long forgotten lullabies--
I will pray on your behalf
and until one day is marked my last
I'll be praying you feel love
and continue watching from above
this neverending storm.

When will it happen?
What will happen?
Will I
enforce                        
it,
wish                            
for it,
expect                          
it?

Will I experience a
whitehotfierypain,                        
consume my final moments in
a furious anguish,                            
barely able to come up for
one last intake of sweet oxygen,
a barely audible 'goodbye'?

Will I become so comfortably
numb,                                                  
hear static imagination collide with
sudden reality
as I slowly glide into
my eternal oblivion,
all with one slow
smile?                                                  

**How will I succumb to Death's cold embrace?

If you persist to be mine,
I hope you enjoy the smell of rain;
I hope you take pride in
A love for Disney movies,
And I hope we can go
Antique shopping
And perhaps discover unknown caves
Against the ocean's tide.

If you persist to be mine
I'll dream of having tea--
Or coffee, if you prefer--
In our cozy apartment
On the coldest winter days.

I'll dream of taking walks
Under overcast skies;
We'll travel down Haight
And breathe in the
Friendly atmosphere.

If you persist to be mine
I will gladly be yours
And we'll create faint memories
Beneath the California sky.