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Haley Rezac Aug 2013
I fear the love and
the light directed towards me;
I'm used to darkness.
Haley Rezac Aug 2013
I'm depressed, Baby
but that's what every teenager says
these days
who knows if they
truly have the slightest clue
of that neverending
emptiness, how it
swallows                                                                  
you,
hallows                                                                    
you out
until you're the spitting image of
your worst nightmare
while it grabs you

tighter,                                                                    
pins you

d                                                                  
o                                                              
w                                                                
  n                                                            

with a ******* ferocity that even Hades himself could not endure.
This illness makes you
weak,
makes you
bleed out all of the strength
that's left in your wilted form

if there was any in the first place                              

and it won't be satisfied
until every inch of your mind is infected
with pure venom
lovely poison.

You'd expect that with an illness
treating you so **** awfully,
it'd throw you away in a heartbeat
like the trash it wants you to call yourself,
but instead it
sticks by your side
morphs itself into your own head

you won't know which thoughts are yours*            

and it becomes your
buoy,
the only constant
in your temporary
life
the only thing
you can
count on

unfortuantely
enough.
Haley Rezac Aug 2013
It was my fault this time;
he found what I've been hiding
on my right thigh
I'm sorry Baby
I swear I didn't mean to make you cry
it won't happen again
I'll bring the knife higher up
out of sight
from now on.
Haley Rezac Aug 2013
I saw a girl
in the park
today
she was wearing
aviators
to cover her
eyes
but I knew they were
beautiful

loose strands
of blonde hair
curled around her neck
and her T-shirt
had a bad word
on it
but a bad influence
was the last phrase
I had in mind
to describe her

I bet she listens to bands
no one's ever heard of
and maybe cries herself
to sleep at night
when she thinks no one
can hear

she probably wants to
travel
she probably wants something
extraordinary
an adventure
something that isn't
me
but I'm okay with that

I didn't expect anything
anyways.
Trying to write what people see me as.
Haley Rezac Aug 2013
Coccooned in my own warmth
of something that's not
my own
I love you
endlessly.
Haley Rezac Aug 2013
the feeling is gone
now I only live with the
fear of it's return.
update from '5:39 a.m.'.
Haley Rezac Jul 2013
disrupted slumber
I finally
thought
what I've been
dreading
to think
for quite some time
now.
whether it's
the truth or not
I've yet to
discover
but this tormented state
usually has a way
of lasting.
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