Haley Rezac

Haley Rezac May 2013

Misery

People are dying
children are crying
and Mommy's weeping
while Daddy's sleeping
then there's me:
too scared to flee
so I'm stuck here
in an atmosphere
that's filled with death;
why can't I rest?
The clock is ticking
as I am thinking
and my heart pounds
as gunshot sounds
and with every beat
I think I'll meet
the heavens.

Haley Rezac May 2013

Look Closely

It seems that nothing
suffices anymore.
                                                  I
discard everything as
useless, don't pay
attention to the
screaming in my
dusty brain. Seems I
                                                  can't
endure the simplest
tasks, I break and
feel as if the world
is swallowing me whole.
It's so hard to get
out of bed, let alone
                                                  stand
up and face whatever
lies in store for me
that day. Feels like
                                                  this
rollercoaster is stopping
soon, coming to an end.
[My stomach can
stop lurching now.]
The fun is done, the
                                                  ride
is over.

Haley Rezac May 2013

May 17, 2013 [between 11pm & 12am]

I fall in
love

with your       heartbeat,
the thrum-thrum-thrum of
your chest against mine
the pulsing whisper
that your lips leave
against my cheek
my forehead
my nose
lips.

Never have I desired
anything more than to
curl up against you
fall asleep to that thrum-thrum-thrum
wake up to
your                            kiss
your                         touch
your                    warmth.

It was on
May 17
of 2013
--a stretch of time--
somewhere between
11pm and 12am
that I
fell              into
love              with
you.

And it's scary as hell.

Haley Rezac May 2013

Plain Jane Poet

I thought I was
exceptional
at this
not excellent
but
exceptional,
okay,
average.
And now I feel
useless,
unintelligent,
too undeniably unworthy
to even hold
a
pen.

Haley Rezac May 2013

Seatbelts

One of my friends
quiet as he may be
actually paused today and asked
why I am so against wearing my
seatbelt.

Why?

I had no heart to tell him
that without that safety harness
around my chest
I am one step closer to death
and I prefer it that way,
no heart to tell him
while they all think my
suicidal tendencies are
under control,
never to be seen again.

They think I'm all better
but I've got hidden demons
always begging to come out
and play.

Haley Rezac May 2013

River's Bend Park

Crisp moonlight
invites the river waves
to crash upon these heavy rocks
that line the dock
and I look up
past the boards,
past your face that looks down at me
with overwhelming
neverending
love
at the sky that transferred
from light golds and soft pinks
to a deep navy blue
within the past hour.
Silver specks are sprinkled
behind silhouetted wisps,
a plane soars through the
new evening
where is it going?
away from you.
and for once
I'd rather stay grounded
because these wooden boards
are where
you
lay

*with
me.

Haley Rezac May 2013

This side of me is rare

Your love devours me
         and I love it
Your hands move
         all around me, my
faceneckstomachbacklegs
         [sometimes I wish they'd move to new places]
How can I show you that I love it?
         Easy.
[Kiss harder, don't pull away, grip tightly]
Have your hands ever dared to wander?
        You never let them.
You breathe,
                tilt your head,
                                  lean back to meet my eyes
[don't stare, just touch]
My lips are hungry for yours,
                                                     not for talking.
[Eyes closed, but I see every part of you.]
          I       can      take       care       of       you.
Grip
        Tug
               Pull
                       kiss
                               me
                                     harder
                                                  hold
                                                           me
                                                                 longer
                                                                            love
                                                                                   me
                                                                     *please.

We're all animals.