You know, dreams do come true,
And of course, dreaming is free,
Rowan dreams of dolphins,
Swimming in the bluest sea.

She would ride upon their backs,
Crashing through wave after wave,
She would not even be scared,
The dolphins would make her brave.

They would chase schools of fish,
Go leaping into the sky,
Fins flashing, water splashing,
A happy twinkle in her eye.

So every night Rowan dreams,
And no other dream will do,
But swimming with her dolphins,
You know, dreams do come true.

you say that you deserve this,
I tell you that you don't
and I tell you to talk to me
and it hurts that you won't

all I can say is sorry,
all I can do is try,
all I can do is hope
that I won't hear that goodbye

"everything's gonna be okay"
but you tell me, it will never
and now my words are trapped
inside my throat like a broken lever

please, let me help you
please, hear my words
please, try to remember the good
floating like boats & birds

I swore I'd be there whenever you would need me
and I try and I try, those words sprayed like graffiti
but it's not easy, I try to make it all better
but your heart stays shredded like cheese & cheddar

so tell me how to help,
tell me what to do,
I don't wanna see you sad
because I love you

and so tell me how to help,
tell me what to do,
show me the darkness,
I'll let the light shine through

Monsters have to receive an invitation
Before coming inside
That's what I read in stories
But I never let you in my mind
You didn't come all at once
You came like a thief in the night
But you waited patiently
To start shutting off the lights
You manifested yourself
In comments my mother made
In that sinking feeling I felt
That cut me like a blade
Now that I think of it
You were always there
Reminding me of nights I cried
idontcareidontcareidontcare
You broke the rules
I never gave you an offering
But you didn't care
And now I'm housing all this suffering
I can't think straight
And all my walls are crumbling
It's permeable
And the rain keeps pouring
This sorrow is going to drown me
And I think I might just let it
In a place I can only hear my heart beating
Where I can't take any more hits
It's a truth I can no longer deny
As I'm swimming in this sea
I do not have depression
Depression has me

What is about to happen before you will be real. There are no mixed up words thought up to confuse the reader. It's time to confess and tell what I've had to hold inside. There's only the truth and the only ******* way to say it: I'm miserable. I've been miserable for far too long. A year ago today, I was changed forever and all I ever believed was taken from me. Love used to be this golden thing I could not wait to hold in my hands. But now, it's a poisonous cancer deep in the root of my heart that I can't touch for fear I'll be frozen forever. I am too much. I love too much. I care too much. I'm there too much. I pare too much. I am just too much. I could write a million songs about what has happened to me and none of them would fix my heart. None of them would help me heal. I once loved a boy, and truly loved, but he couldn't be bothered to keep me. He showed me what it was to really feel pain. Afterwards, it seemed like all I could do was lose people. All I had done was lose people. All I could do was be hurt. I was a punching bag
people got their kicks out of and when they were finished, they left, I stood there, more beaten than before. And it continued. A never ending cycle I could never end unless I end myself. How is it that something can make us so weak yet so strong? And how can we want it so much and despise it so?  I have forced myself to grow cold, emotionless. It is much easier than being emotionally invested in people and to just lose it all. For a while, it worked. Hell, I even didn't feel a thing for quite some time. Mostly anger. No sadness. But that grief, that suffocating sadness, has never truly left. It has wrung clearly within me and it is trying to escape through my throat in agonized screams of fear. Fear that I am finally breaking out and feeling the loss I have had to try and keep inside. A loss I could never find the words to end correctly.  Though I am trying to fight, I am weaker than before. So I will grow stronger, I will lose these disposable feelings like a camera with no film, and I will protect myself like I always have. I will be ok. Free.  And you can never hurt me again. I CANNOT DO THIS AGAIN I WILL NOT DO THIS AGAIN YOU WILL NOT BRING ME TO THE KNEES OF DEATH ONCE AGAIN I WON'T LET YOU I WON'T LET YOU I WON'T I WON'T PLEASE LEAVE ME BE LET ME LIVE CAN'T YOU SEE? CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'll ONLY MAKE IT WORSE? I HAVE TO BE FREE OF THIS CANCER, THIS DISEASE I HAVE TO BE FREE OF LOVE. I HAVE TO BE FREE. Please. I cannot do this anymore.

Denim and Icky Nicky pooping in a tree
p o o p i ng
Denim is 2 dumb 2 understand luvvvv
and icky Nicky is ugly as heck.
Denim wants to marry icky Nicky and have lots of ugly children.

I'm jealous of my cold sweat,
I wish I could escape
but it's like I woke up from my dream,
and ended up in my fate
and you saved me like my knight and shining armor
farming my depression like some vegetables, making me a little calmer
and I honor, I acknowledge it, I use my love to fight the ****
sitting in reality, thinking about you rather than escaping it
and trust me I try, but it's harder when my motives seem reversed
but trust me baby, when I say you're the difference between me and a hearse
and of course you make me happy, I'm just sprouting with this envy
so send me the closure and save me from this hellish frenzy
let me be yours, and I'll let you be mine
just building patience to taste those lips,
sweeter than three sips of red wine,
you complete the circle, and you have the key
so I ask "do you mind"
I said you're the difference between me and a hearse, valentine

I don't want to write about you anymore.
But my heart is so full of you,
That I have to.
I dedicate song, by song to you.
Hoping the music will make you understand.
Should I sing my heart out to you, to make you understand?
Should I pour out every drop of love inside me,
Even if I don't get it back?
Tell me what you're feeling.
Is it love, or is it friendly?
Should I run or should I stay?
It's killing me to love this way.
I've been here before and it's not a good place.
I'd like to be safe, where ever you
are.
But I can't make you love me if you don't.
So maybe I won't.

How do you manage this disadvantage of a weakness,
Bleakness is the skill but nobody wants to seek this
but they tell me nobodies perfect but I'm imperfectly strategic,
I might as well be quadriplegic to have to listen to this weak ****

well,
maybe I'm the problem now, they say what goes up must come down
but down goes the intelligence, along with the modesty
is this real life or a satirical comedy
and honestly, I don't wanna be a wanna be
I wanna see the lack of novelty affecting the life I see
but hey, maybe it's just me and my weakness is my psychology
maybe it's just me
well, maybe it's just **me

Oh look, here we go again
Is this meeting with an enemy or just my boldest friend;
Well it depends since it seems I'm going insane
These painkillers are supposed to pain **** but there's now pain in my brain
and I'm vein and impulsive or am I just the other,
the only movement is clear, the blinds that shutter
as the harsh wind flows, it flows like a river
am I my own enemy
I'll just sit here and dither
because that meeting with a "friend"
was just me and the mirror
and I try to pretend
but I sit here cold and bitter
I wish my mind would flush,
but it's just stuck in the *******
so my thoughts just flow,
as I still sit as a fixture
they like to say picture perfect
but I'm just an imperfect picture