Let me start by saying
I don't believe in love
But please let me explain
that it's just a rule of thumb

I say I hate the world
as I have a fear of rejection
I'm slightly socially awkward
especially when showing affection

However, beneath the surface
is another side to me
which i hide away from the world
for only a few to see:



I act like I'm the best
because I feel like I'm the worst
I shake my fringe and lower my head
when I'm uncomfortable or hurt

I have a tendency to overthink
and I get jealous easily
and I find it hard admit
as I'm afraid of people seeing all of me

I don't like to tell people these things
as it makes me feel vulnerable
just like I'll only sing to you
when I am feeling comfortable

I know you know I say 'shut up'
when what I really mean is 'yes'
there's a reason I'm telling you all these thing
that I probably should confess

I wanted to let you know me
but I was unsure how to do it
so I had to write a poem
or I'd be too awkward to get through it

So I have to tell you in a poem
how I really feel
before I change my mind
and the truth is never revealed

I say I'm really good with words
when actually, I'm just average
I'll say one thing but you'll know I mean another
if you watch my body language

I say that i don't give a ****
and that is sometimes true
but you can tell I'm lying
if I can't look at you

I've said I don't believe in love
yet I believe in fate
and I guess I like you quite a bit
so I'll tell it to you straight

i don't like expressing emotions
so forgive me if I'm blunt
but listen close to this
because I'll only say it once

-

I like the way you sing to me
though sometimes out of tune
I like the way when we lie down
you let me be the little spoon

I like how we don't have to talk
when we lay side by side
I love it when you tell me
that you miss me late at night

I hate your slow replies
but that's only because I'm needy
I like how we think we're really cute
when others think we're cheesy

I like the way you're patient
and how you hold my hand
i like the way you're respectful
and the way you understand

I like how we feel comfortable
when we're around each other
but i have to admit you're super annoying
when you steal all the covers

Your eyes, I've noticed, do this thing
where they go really soft
and i don't know if you knew
but you do it quite a lot

I like the way that sometimes
in your kitchen we'll slow dance
And normally I'm quite wary
but with you I took a chance

i hate the way you outsmart me
and how you're often right
I hate the way you cross my mind
every single night

I laugh at the face you make
when my hair falls in the way
I find it funny how we insult each other
at least five times a day

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'
is what we both live by
but I know I won't feel worthy of you
however hard I may try

I've said I don't believe in love
as it's a common misconception
but maybe I'm starting to think
that every rule has an exception

Okay.
I'll admit it.
I miss my friends
and I miss being
young, and care free.
I miss cruising to
Nicki Minaj
and chilling at the park.
Watching the boys
fight in the back yard.
Smoking *** for hours,
and laughing together.
Those boys and girls
were the closest thing
to a family I ever had.
I miss the late night
parties in Joey's room,
all of us,
either drunk;
******,
or tripping,
but happy.
You can't buy happiness
like that.

I miss sitting in
a room with
my family.

The parade is passing while children are throwing candy unknowingly laced with poison into the open palms of those blinded by chasing the American dream all the way into the open grave dug by those who planted false ideas and needs.
I am hiding in art galleries and sneaking through back alleys to remain in silence and pick up as much candy as possible.
I am just a periferal glimpse with noble attempts, but their eyes are as jaded as my heart tries to be and perhaps I am seen as a vagabond without meaning or purpose.
If I can **** the poison in at least one vein, then perhaps dealing with the grey skies can be worth it.