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It's been so long
Yet not enough
We've come so far
Yet we've got so far
To go
The journey ahead
Is full of twists and turns
Forks and bends
But I trust
That through it all
These ties will hold

I still remember
The six years that changed me
Trained me
To be something
That I wasn't
Was quickly undone
In the seventh year
A new year
We shall count from one

With the weight of the mould
I felt lost and unsure
In this place of light
And warmth
And this new home
With an amazing family
New ties quickly formed
And with the mould disintegrating,
I was free...

It was YOU
Who taught me
There's no harm shining;
Being proud of what I have

It was YOU
Who taught me
Just give all you've got
That There's no need to hide or with hold

It was You
Who taught me
That history could
Last

It was You
Who taught me
To just be;
Take everything with a smile brightly

And

It was You
Who unlocked
That locked door
I kept shut so tightly in those six years
Trickling light into that dark, closed room

Thank you all
For these two years
You've helped me find
Myself
Not the old one,
Not the one that was
Buried
Squished and
Lost
But you've all helped me find
A unique
New
Me

And as I lay here
Staring at these bracelets
I can't help but feel
Wistful
That it's all going to be
Over

The smiles
The laughter
The undeniable stupidity
Tears
All those memories
All those things
We went through
Together


That we're all going
In different ways
And alas,
I shed a single tear

For what the future holds,
I cannot fathom
And there are mixed feelings
Of apprehension and fear
But at least these ties will hold
They will have to
Over long distance
And all

Because I can't ever
Bear to part
With all of you
Any of you
Ever

Despite all these
Changes
I don't wanna let go..
My dear, just stop
will you breathe for a moment?
stop writing lists of what you have yet to do
turn down the radio, put your bills on hold
don't fret about these college degrees and potential promotions

will you just stop?
take some time, breathe the air that scares you
as if free time makes you high on some terrifying hallucinogenic drug
darling, take some time,
just think
look at the anthills, think of what's there
look up to the stars, imagine what's more

please, I beg you
just take a minute
to scare yourself to death
to appreciate life
to set aside all they tell you to believe, to be
if college and an office job is the life for you, live it
if not, don't let them tell you that's how it is to be
you are not a brick inlaid without potential for motion,
you are the Northern lights
you shine
you move
you dance, brighter than the darkness would allow

just take a moment
please just ask why
ask, why am i doing this?
why am i saying this?
why do i believe this?
why do i live like this?

and if the answers suit you, let it be
and if not, break out running like a deer who's escaped the trap

live. please do anything you can,
why not?

i hear you whisper my old tunes, like that dreaded broken record,
"what's the point of trying to be happy when we all end up dead anyways?"
dear, would you ever let a newborn pup in the fighting ring just because one day it will inevitably see its end?

darling you deserve the world,
it is yours
with the stars in the sky and the potential for life
with the ants and the termites, we are alive
we are but condensation waiting to make waves

my dear, just stop
just breathe for a minute
wondrous is the universe
let us be wondrous with it
 Nov 2013 Gwen Pimentel
Cali
Closed
 Nov 2013 Gwen Pimentel
Cali
Everyone searches but
Not everyone finds
Hearts fade away
By the simple breeze of
A cold soul
Trust is broken, all
Because of the unfinished
Truth and the infinite
Lies.

Everyone fights but
Not everyone survives
Closing your eyes doesn't
Mean giving up, it
Means taking away your
Own pain and forget
About everything for a
Second or more.

They told us dreams can
Come true
But forgot to mention that
Nightmares

**are dreams too
Love
You are not the width of your hips
You are not the shade of your skin
You are not the fabrics in your closet
You are not the electronics that you own
You are not the papers in your wallet
You are not what you possess
You are not what you look like

You are the songs that you sing to in the shower
You are the shows that you stay up watching
You are the books that you read for hours
You are the poems and stories you make
You are the art you create, the strokes of your fingers
You are the subjects in school you enjoy learning
You are the dreams you have for tomorrow
You are the people you look up to
You are the friends you spend Friday nights with
You are the boys that you kiss
You are how you talk to your parents
You are what you love
**You are how you love
If only you knew the person I want to call mine.
If only you knew how amazing they truly are.
Now only if they realized how they make me smile.

Their eyes that capture my heart with just a single glance
Their touch that can make me feel safe and comforted
Their voice that makes me smile just to hear

If only they knew themselves like I do
If only they knew I don't only love their perfections,
But also their imperfections.

I love that quirky smile
I love that awkward laugh when they hear an awesome joke
I love their shyness at times

If I could only find the words I would write them all down
but nothing can describe everything good about them. I just wish they knew I loved these things.

All you need to do to find this person is simple. Look in the mirror For the one I speak of Is nobody but you
Exactly 53 weeks ago
There was a new spark in my life
Representative of growing up and feeling something
And for so long
I stressed about him and me
What we could possibly mean
So for all that time
There was something
And I thought it was keeping me going
Because I though I needed someone to be happy
In retrospect, he's still the person I saw
But now I see the flaws
And I've recognized my delusion
He acted as a distraction from my life
But then my life encompassed him
It hurts to read my prior poems and know it was all him
I don't need a distraction anymore
And he never needed me
It feels like the end of an era
An era I thought would never end
However, somehow I'm content with this ending
Maybe it's not final
It would be better if it wasn't
If I've learned anything
I've learned what to do
And I've learned what not to do
So the next time someone comes around
I won't make the same mistakes
And I will have the ability to have a sense of control
Before today, I needed to be controlled
There was so much wrong with everything about us
I thought it was right because my fear of being alone was greater than you
So now I sit alone
Wondering what will come next
And I hope it's wonderful
Because being with him
Taught me that I am wonderful
And I deserve wonderful
It hurts to know that I thought of him as something greater than what he really was
Now I know
I know that I can be wanted and I can be free
And if I follow my plan
I will be
It's the end of an era
An era that was bittersweet
Listening to folk music and reading reminds me that there are greater things in life
And it's time to channel my ability into something great
I don't know if this era will have a comeback
Maybe not
If this era has taught me anything
It has taught me that
I will be ok
 Nov 2013 Gwen Pimentel
Showman
I've learned that happiness
cannot be found in the form of a little
purple capsule.
I've learned that Pisa will have to wait until next time.
I've learned that the third mushroom
held in my sweaty palm was not as
big a deal compared to the other two opening my mind.
I've learned that a part of me
died that night where we ****** in a
room with no furniture.
I've learned that life is work and that
the molotov cocktail of Dubrah and eay mac
that came spewing from me left an orange tang
upon the floor.
I've learned that pain is better than numbness
and that jabbing a sewing needle repeatedly in my arm
was an educated decision.
Most importantly I've learned that together we are better than alone.
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