You come to me in a memory
You come as something broken
Something lost
Something long gone
You come as a message in a bottle
However the bottle broke
And the message is soggy
You come like midnight
Dark
A little too quiet
Or a little too loud to be happy
You come as a barrier
You get in the way of me moving forward
You come like an ice cold winter morning
A little too frozen to fix with coffee
You come as a memory of who I was
You come to tell me what I'm not
You come to me when I think I might be alright
But I'm not
You come to me in a memory
To remind me that's all I've got
A memory of something I lost

I used to be afraid of picking up broken pieces
For a fear of getting hurt
But now it's an obsession
I observe the sharp edges
Run my fingers across jagged points
If I bleed I hope it might act like glue
I want to mend the broken pieces
Because I'm broken too
And maybe if I fix this
I can be fixed too

I'm the smell before rainfall
And you're thunder in a storm
And it's a strange kind of beautiful
When dark clouds come to play

Sometimes I love this broken world
Sometimes I just love that it's broken too

I say I'm okay
but I'm not
I'll have my good days
and I'll have my worst
but until the day
I go to bed without
a feeling of dread
or tears on the bed
pounding in my head
the inability to catch my breath
I'm not okay

I won't truly be okay
Until the day
I can say hello
without having to rehearse it
or wonder if I said it
too quiet
or too loud
if it even came out
and worrying if
the conversation will go past that

If the most I say
about how I'm feeling
is okay
and you had to ask in the first place
I'm probably not

If I'm more worried
if you're okay
than I'm probably not
because until I unlearn
how to pick everybody but myself up
I'm not

I say I'm okay
so you don't have to worry about me
but I'll still cling to all the care
and love you give to me
because I'm still unsure
if its all I get
so until the day
I don't feel the need
for reassurance that you care for me
I'm not okay

Until the day
I can no longer relate to this
I'm not okay
but I'm working on it

Am I a hopeless romantic
Or a hopeless girl
I'm always dreaming for something more

I'm a puzzle
But half of my pieces
were thrown away
So I keep adding pieces
From different puzzles
I guess I'd rather be whole
Than be right