Out of the darkness
A forming black mass
Of fur, Of Claws, Of teeth
Eyes revealed from the pine
The crunch of dry leaves
.
The brush shakes as the beast approaches
.
Out of the darkness
Enveloping snaps
Of twigs, Of bones, Of shifting stones
Blood-soaked hunting boots
The song of an unknown cicada
.
The nerves of the corpse make its limbs twiddle
.
Out of the bloodshed
The insects feast
Bones void of gore
Birds circling day and night
The sound of a full answering machine

I looked at love and for a second I was here.
I saw creation at work and for a second I was here.
Many times, I am nothing but a spectator.
Many times, I can’t find my savior.
How much I long to stay here in reverie.
I need to stay or it’ll be the death of me.
What is conscious thought? Soul?
What is my life after I die? Sold?
I believe in the future, yet I can’t rationalize the now.

Today I saw you while I was walking and remembered those stupid, fun times we had when talking.
Those fond and warm memories made me smile, and I suddenly remembered how hard it became to walk a mile.
You gave me a new heart, you gave me a new start.
But eventually, I always come to the realization that we fell apart.

Send your signals and take them back.
Give subtle dismissals and wrench my latch.
Strip your beating red curtains away,
Elucidate what I once perceived to the fray.
Wind me up, watch me charge.
Let me down as I fall apart.
They cheer you on, they truly believe.
Because in the end, they want me to bleed.
You’re going to shove your knives in me,
And I soon will cease to be.
But, your roses will still be cast
And your cheers will still be amassed.
As your swords are stuck seizing and bleeding my back.

I fell into the depths and I didn’t know if I would ever be back.
The water seeped into my clothes and the cold entered my bones.
The boat showed no sign of slowing down or reaction.
I was sinking and immobilized in the icy enveloping darkness.
The only thing I could see now was a pale dot of the moon.
The pink flames of life were flickering in the crushing depth.
I did not fight, I knew it was too late to struggle and swim.
The inner fire was flashing and the whole world was now dim.
The apparition of life was being ****** away as I refused to swim.
And through this sinking depth, was a new hand of glimmering death.
The world was black with my eyes both open and closed,
The world was silent eardrums exploded or not.
I was one-hundred meters down when my heart finally stopped.
My soul was ripped from my body that continued to drop.
It was the only thing in the water for miles.
The ‘I’ I knew was reduced to something like an exotic fish.
The lie I knew was now dying to only be missed.

The Book of sad
1
A trail of dust with a foreseeable end, a hidden lust without an agreeable trend. The thorns of her have left larger holes that I thought no one could ever scold. What really left in me is left in her too an actual want that's left forgotten about until a later date. --------
[i/] 01001001 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01010100 01100001 01111001 01101100 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101101 01100101. -------
The rugged owl emits the loneliest howl
The deepest roots that touch but never meet
The wisest seed rolls down the oldest tree
The waters toss and makes rocks moss
The bullet of a forgotten hunter
The footprints of the great confronter
The deep cave cave with endless bowels
The largest fruit without any treat
The highest speeds of the winds that will never be
The bridges still cross as the seasons begin to moss.
---------
[v/] 01001001 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110101 01110010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100
--------
The copacetic cliffside corroded by the rain
The old oak cabin with a great wood stain
A monstrous thistle hidden away
A marvelous crystal deep in a cave
____
The hardest part about leaving won't be the place that I miss, but it's the friends that I've met.
______
But, no one knows
where our secrets go

2
And I laid in shower letting the water and dirt run off of me. I closed my eyes and saw nothing, I thought nothing, and there was something soothing about that nothingness. The hours of sleep wasted of the past mocked me and laughed at what I've done. I saw nothing, I heard nothing, and I thought of nothing. There was no pain, there was no dread but there was a certain calmness in the void of silence. I opened my eyes and saw the tiles and I realized how cold I was and wished I had never opened my eyes.

3
There's something soothing about knowing the truth even though how painful it is. Coming to terms will always be hard, but never knowing the outcome of something will always be harder. We might even never see each other again, but it's the knowledge of what's there but too far away from you to grow a sense of relief comes into me. I'll always love you, I'll love the picture of you, I'll love the inner struggles of you, and I'll love the memory of you but I know the difference of what's there and what's passed. I'll never forget about what short time we had and how great it was, and the sheer mutual excitement that was in between us. I've grown away and you have too, but what'll always stick with me is the memory of you.

4
And I forgot got to see a you and me. Even though we hide the shame in our names, we'll never quite feel the same. And I can't see you with anyone, anyone that's not me. But I guess that's just the emptiness without a name. --++ And I miss your hair and I wish you cared. But I wish we could share, with just one last second to spare.

5
You'll always wonder about others. You wonder why people hang out with you and why people put up with you. Do they just talk about you differently when you're not around? Or, do they not talk about you at all? The hardest thing to do by yourself is to point out your own flaws. But, the hardest part of it all is that you don't know all of your flaws while your friends do. Why did they assume that you didn't want to come? Is it because you truly are a miserable *******? Or, is it one of those flaws that's unknown to you, but common knowledge for others? Excuses are easy to make but hard to pull off, especially to your friends. Do people see the person they want to see or the cold shell of a person you've become? Do they see that shaky, anxious mind that's shut off from everyone or the person you're supposed to be?

6
Into the hearts
Deep abyss
Our love shone, and shone
But our love was never grown
Left in wonder without end
We always ended just friends
Ends, ends,
just loose ends
And I ascend without popular trends
my mind bends and our love will never begin.
My heart burns, my mind yearns
For the love that will never turn
A love that's never ripe,
A love that's never right.

7
And it hurts every time just a little more. Everything in me hates it but maybe I'll never find a way to stop it. Nothing heals and nothing feels different; an emotional scab never heals if picked at constantly. I'm looking for a doctor, someone to talk to for hours at a time. My search will never end. My view of the world is changing and everything feels withered. It feels like the howling of the wind is the only voice that understands me. The wind has no choice but to like me.

8
I want I out. Free of the plain and bored of the same. I want to go places, experience new things, and I want change. Boredom always evolves into sadness. I’m tired of seeing everyone out in different places experiencing more life while I'm still at home doing nothing. And I'm gonna add more in because I’m up and I'm here to be sad and angry. I hate how every girl wants to be with the rudest guy. You'll always here about the worst people now and never about the good guys ever. Nothing's alright, nothing is fine, and everything hurts. Everyone I talk to always has some sort of sharp edge that I always bump right into. And hey girls, here's a tip. If any guy quotes rap songs on their stories they aren't inspirational or 'chill' it just means they're idiots that always end up hurting you in some way. And hey guys, why do you treat the nicest people like absolute trash? I just had a nice look into the mirror for a good few minutes and really reflected on myself too. Why do I let everything go away from me so fast? Missed opportunity haunts me.

9
And I've ascended, I've become 'that guy.' I've hurt people with the most painful weapon known to man, truth. Truth is wanted and sought after by many, but hurts you in so many ways. I gave you the truth, I gave you my heart. You and I will never be one, and what's sought after is never won. And I've learned to lower my standards to a lower low and keep my words to myself. The world is full of pain and I should know because I am the world. A world no one will ever love back, a world that will never belong to anybody. Free of the cold shackles of love but never flies away like a caged dove. I don't understand how any of it works and I never will.

10
Everytime it seems I get hurt. The scars that don't heal are never treated and it seems the best people in life are always retreated. The scorched embers in my heart are never enough to start this fire alone. Lonely is my middle name and this land doesn't same anymore. The shifting sands feel so bland and the humid air I can't stand. It's a struggle to breathe but, to think of leaving it all makes me relieved in a way. I want a change in all the pain but I'll just never feel the same.

11
I wish something would spark between us but this is some dull steel
-
Sometimes the best things are hidden right In front of you staring at you in your face. But too often we seek the hidden instead of the obvious
-
The feeling I have is familiar and I don't like it. The feeling of liking someone but knowing it's never gonna be mutual. Knowing you want better for her is the part that hurts you the most because you want to take them out of the continuous cycle of being hurt by someone and left for another guy over and over. What you want is real and the way you feel is painful. But at the end of the day, you get rejected and just have to act fine with it all. You wish, you wish, but never receive.

12
Everything eventually fades to black no matter what it is our graves will always be the same size.
-
The smile hides it all I guess. People always assume you're too rad to be sad but really it's the other way around
-
Something about it all just seems surreal. I've just never thought any of this would ever happen to me. Losing something is easy, but gaining what's lost is harder.

13
We all initially act okay about it, but you know how you feel and I know how I feel. But,
people change and if I know that, I will eventually change too. The sadness of the past is always addictive to linger on and the thoughts of what we could have been are unbearable. Your deathly black hair as strangled the expectations of my heart and your nails are still buried deep past my skin. In a way, even though you’ve prospered without me I can still feel you. You’ve tailored yourself to forget about this all but you know this was no mistake. And I know we’ll rarely if ever, see each other, but we both will forever know what we wanted and what was done. Although I never truly got to have you, we both know how we’re made for each other and we’ll always be hurt by that. I love you but I know this melancholy wall between us will never come down.

14
I have become the physical embodiment of sadness. I have become the so emotionally hurt by myself that I’ve given up the last of myself to the non-temporary aspects of life. I’ve been stabbed relentlessly by everything physical and nonphysical to the point of feeling physically ill with myself. I swallow all of my screams, I hold back all of your tears, and I never thought someone could feel this broken. I’ve been lost to myself, and I’ve been lost to the world’s loudness, but I never thought I would see myself get lost to people. I don’t blame any of you for not liking me, honestly.

The television flashes, the static crashes
The loneliness sets in on small patches
The restless snoring, the great and boring
The lustful thoughts of those I should be adoring
The quieter air, the darker stare
The wolf at the door that I’m aware
I grab the keys and drive to somewhere without needs
Where did we all go?
Where did the little problems go?
Did the quietness build up?
Did society slip up?
The Nationalistic lust.
The gravitational trust
We went somewhere without a must
We came back without a trust
Our Night Sickness built up
Our Night Sickness choked us up

We drift through the open air,
we’re both together so we don’t care.
The vacant and void,
Without heartless avoid
Eternal without need,
we’ll never lose out speed
Pull me in, burn me up
breathe me in, choke me up
Frozen in our serenity,
pulled from our security.
Feel my gravity, steal my magnitude
They’ll see us through the window,
They’ll watch us on their screen.
Arm and arm, we’ll have each other
We’ll fly past the frozen debris,
we’ll float together at the same degree.
Mother Earth doesn’t stop to stare
We’ve become space junk of her own share.

The walk home smells of wet pavement
Shouts of beggars, through the quiet mumbles weather
The lights turn green and red, the screeching loud lament that was only audible for a second
He must not have seen it coming, the whole sight was really something
His twisted metal, his wrecked ghetto, his quiet glass cave in.
I wish I was in the way, that his own would have a stay.
His lucky life is all at bay and my ****** life is still here to stay. But, his screeching t bone would find him his new, eternal home while I’m stuck in my own. I wish that I was in his way. His wife, his kids, his house, his dog.
The wail of sirens are on their way,
The poor and the passing are over longing their stay.
He’ll be missed, I’m sure he’ll be missed every day
The only thing I’d be thought of is life insurance pay.

The leafless tree never stops growing
water among the rocks never stops flowing
Feathers of a fallen bird and the empty shell of a snail
the sound of a vacant world, the empty destruction of man’s trail.
A limitless mountain coated with snow
the empty wind no one will know.
The prints of the following herd and the holes of many snakes
We’ve forgotten the naturally learned and left the marks of our mistakes.
We’ll travel to the forgotten lake isle
We’ll travel to the land of the fertile
The cleanest snow on the top of the great mountain
The oldest oak overlooks the greatest fountain
The rugged owl emits the loneliest howl
The deepest roots that touch but never meet.
The wisest seed rolls down the oldest tree
The waters toss and make rocks moss.
The bullets of a forgotten hunter
The footprints of a greater confronter.
The deep cave with endless bowel
The largest fruits without treat
The highest speeds of the winds that will never be.
The bridges still cross as the seasons begin to toss.
The copacetic cliffside corroded by the rain
The old oak cabin with a great wood stain
A monstrous thistle hidden away
A marvelous crystal deep in a cave

This was the one, my time to not be shunned
Helpless gasping hope, I read upon my final note
All of them meant a ton, but there is surely more than one
I struggle on with one last fight to see the eternal undying light
My security was robbed and my senses were shot
I float upon a paper boat, but near the end, it cannot tote
The miserable, shot, torn apart, the bloke I am
Carrying the weight of 1,000 sins
I’m so insecure and always seemed to be scorned
And I’ve been hollowed out into a way I wasn’t born
God has pushed his way of a horrible, everlasting storm
And has pushed to me a person who will never be adored
Filled with the roots of the tree of hate
A true lasting relationship will never await
My one and only of the wind find yourself free of my sin
Traveling hidden through the night I find myself my final fight
I slashed and slashed but my soul was already gashed
And I will never see you here again a true love was never meant to begin
I shred my disparity and welcome the clarity of something out of bloom
How can we hide the shame knowing we will never be bride and groom
Even though I’m not dead, I’d rather die with the thought of you in my head.

My mind is crystallized, under a vast controlling ice
And the bars which uphold me take away my human rights.
The sun will never rise, in this cold and howling night.
Even though it’s useless, I struggle with all my might.
I know I’m reclusive, but this dream feels so lucid.
Buried underneath the sand, there’s no one except for me to stand.
And the waters are washed upon the shore and reminds me of the lost one I adore.
And I see her in the sky and I know I don’t want to die without her.
But, the crystal pillars stand tall and I think I’ve seen it all
But somehow she still surprises me, somehow she still surprises me.
Even though it’s not out loud I’ve been bottomed out
And carved out by one way love.
Our love shone and shone
But, our love was never grown
Left in wonder without end
We always ended just as friends
My heart burns, my mind yearns
For a burning, passionate love that will never turn
In my mind, we’re all deprived
But, what we’re looking for has already arrived
I’ll always be looking for the angel in my life
But, it seems the only thing you’ll ever do cause me strife
We are all the same the package we’re looking for has already came
We tear each other apart even though we’ve had enough to start
I love you, I hate you, but in the end I’ll always break you
No matter how mad I’ll make you, you’d know I’d never trade you
And when the Angels weep in constellation, I’d never leave you in desolation
When we end you’ll always hate me but where we begin I’d always date you
And we’re the cousins of the sky but we’ll always tell a lie to die together
I want you and you want me, but our relationship has seen its fair share of debris.
I want to caress you and undress you, but it’ll all have to be a dream
I guess a hidden, forbidden love isn’t as easy as it seems.
But, a man can always dream of a love that seems to beam
A love in the sunrise, a love that’ll never die
A love in the sunset, a love that’ll never rise
I’ve cried and been made to want to die because of a love that might not ever stride.
And the physical pain will always heal, but the mental pain will never be the same.
My emotions were drained for a true love that never came.