I don't know you, I just know me
I know what the spikes of the world can be
Know how the skies can sob
How you just give up
When it's far too thick to see

I just know words too blunt and cruel
Squashed and taken for a fool
Not enough
Never enough
Eyes left flat like a frozen pool

String me up, hold me up
Stop me from ever giving up
In your arms
Wrapped up warm
Wrapped up warm in wool

I look wretched when I smile
With a curled up face
Bagged eyes
A hollowness of soul

When I laugh, my skin melts
And inside
Shines the euphoria that I cannot
Just cannot
Force onto my face
For a photograph

I buckled like wood
Torn like a leaf
Devoured by frost

And it wept red tears
Sobbing down my legs
Endlessly crying until
In a moment of peace
I saw my sorry self

I needed to speak
But you closed my mouth
With that look
And so I choked
Eyes filling
Breath catching
And said it didn't matter

Nothing mattered more

You showed me a photo,
me, in a sacred moment
Off guard
Vulnerable
Beautiful

And I protested.
But you smiled your secret smile, and I crumbled
That smile eroding me
Shattering resolve and penetrating pretence

Will you remember me?
Will you remember me from that moment?

Dripping, dissolving in the downpour
Static in your hair
Shivers in my teeth
And rain
Drip
Drip
Dripping down the bridge of my nose.

I'm cold, but your smile
Broad and shining
Keeps me warm.

I see my resolve like wax to fire.

I will be the phoenix from the ash.
I will not grant them my laboured breath in anxiety,
only pleasure.
You may have bruises, but only on my skin.
I smack
I choke.

Keep your hands off my heart.

Although I know that I would wear it like a black eye, shining, if only I had the belief.
Give me a something to chainmail my smile.
Only arrows can get in.
And only those with the intention to aim true