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 Jan 2014 Amber Grey
Albern Stark
I can smell the way you look at me,
The words that rip and tear at my flesh,
Ravenously sharking through nerve and sinew,
Take my breath.

I can hear the tone of callous eyes,
A stench to burn the pass of my nose,
Pushing my breath now deep to swallow,
Keep so close.

I feel the touch of an untrue word,
Angrily watching as I throw back my day,
Edging into my mind of missed opportunity,
Glance away.


I taste a brutal touch of emotion,
Nervously scared in an arctic sweat,
My braking heart kicks a hole in my chest,
Ready; set:

I see nothing but disaster ahead,
Feelings I could only wish to be untrue,
Through my tears the redness of my blush,
I love you.
 Jan 2014 Amber Grey
choupinette
I never told you this,
it's a bit embarassing,
but every wish I make,
I make it for you.

Every penny thrown into fountains,
every lucky stars shinning bright,
every last cigarette of the pack,
is a wish for you

I wish that your troubles will go away.
I wish that you will no longer need those antidepressants.
I wish that you finally get the break you need.

If it means I'll never see you again,
if it means you'll forget about me,
so be it.

You deserve to be happy.
i know im not pretty like the rest
im not fit like the best
i didnt reach my fullest-
potential

my words aren't as strong
and my torsos not as long
im not like the others

those girls who are smart
who are thin
who are both
who are in
who have  

those boys who are hot
who are kind
who are both
who aren't mine

i don't laugh like they do
im not loud im not squealing
im the girl who can even reel you in
to focus on what im saying that
i love you

but im not like the rest
the girls who i know will fit you best
cos im not like those girls but i wish i was
because those are girls theyre ones you love
who squeal and are smart and thin and beautiful
who are everything you want and
deserve and need

and im not one of
those girls
i bought a cactus
the summer of my
eighteenth birthday

i picked it up from
the local nursery and
cradled it all the way to
my car so that it wouldn't
fall to the concrete

i had only just met the little guy
and i didn't want to lose him the
day i finally got him

it is quite stupid to buy and
name a cactus but
i felt very attached to the small
succulent that occupied the
left corner of my bedside table

it was a cute little cactus with
orange on his top and a long
green stalk with spikes poking out

i felt pretty satisfied because
even looking at this plant
made me smile

taking care of this cactus
gave me something to do
and it kept my mind off of you
for a while

maybe i connected with this plant

maybe i felt like i was the plant

i sure do feel like the plant

trapped

growing

pokey

all adjectives aside i still
am very much addicted to
caring for my little cactus

if it lasts through the summer
then maybe
i can too
 Jul 2013 Amber Grey
choupinette
Dude! party tonight at 9, be there or:
- be somewhere else which would decrease the amount of admiration people accredit you.
- stay at home and catch up on some important tasks.
- be likened to a geometrical shape composed of for lines of equal length, each separated by ninety degree angles.
- don't, it's your choice after all. I just really want to see you and catch up.
 Jul 2013 Amber Grey
Frankie T
We are in a taxicab with a drink hidden in the space between our legs. We are skipping through the night. We are in the line wearing wristbands. We are laughing loudly with beautiful people. We are dancing all night under electric lights with electric music and electricity in our hair. We are slipping out of dresses and into blood-warm pools. We are being kissed, we are getting high, we are getting in for free, we don't pay a thing. We have stayed up all night into the dawn, we watch the sunrise, we stand on the balcony and watch the world pass under us. We are celestial. We are goddesses. Today the city is ours. The light sparkles on our skin.
 Jul 2013 Amber Grey
choupinette
Trust is a luxury that few possess.
Promise not to tell?
Depending on strangers
is sometimes easier than friends.

Just tell me.
Any deep dark secret,
irrational fear.
Any kind of worry,
I've had troubles as well.

Advice from experience,
or from educated guess.
Advice to follow,
or to ignore.

Advice is optional,
if expression is all you need.
 Jul 2013 Amber Grey
Chris
I saw so much of you today,
even though I know you weren’t there.
Because every speck of dust
is just a piece you left behind.
And that’s okay.
I’m okay.
I swear I’m okay.
And that is no longer a lie.
I absorb rainfall through every pore
and sunsets through weary eyes.
They remind me that I am not incomplete.
And even though you keep so much of me,
there is still plenty left to give;
and I will pour it all out, just as you did.
Like how you showed me
every blemish,
every mistake,
every scar.
It didn’t matter how deep.
And I might be okay now,
but I’m so scared that I still
say your name in my sleep.
 Jul 2013 Amber Grey
choupinette
New country,
new language to learn.
It's so exciting when you're only 5.
Wanting to meet everyone,
wanting to learn their story.
Enthusiastically barely understanding.
Some words familiar,
movies had taught me a handful.

Finally someone understood
my parents are French too, but I was born here
Maybe he'll be my friend?

Still so much too learn,
Laura, what sunk the titanic?

I knew the answer, but not the word
aan ice cewbe?

I really did know the answer
HAHA you're so stupid! It was an iceberg!

I knew the answer
do you put icebergs in your drink, Laura? Hahaha
I just didnt know the word.

A unique sense of betrayal,
abandonment,
when you're own people shame you
for still trying to learn the words of another.

I thought we were the same
you're stupid and ugly
I had so many friends back home

I thought they would understand,
help maybe?
Always had been too gullible.

Maybe the movies were wrong.
No one befriends the outsider.
No one shows mercy.
It's survival of the fittest after all.
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