A grey room with soft walls is waiting down the road.
Purple pills and quiet voices will ease my  heavy load.
They'll place electrodes on my head to shock away the pain.
Then I'll sit drooling as I stare at the morning rain.

Maybe a friend will visit and stare with wide unblinking eyes.
They'll speak cautiously and try to fill me with empty lies.
Even with my drug addled mind will see  through their mask.
There are questions visible on their tongue they refuse to ask.

The stern nurses in their funny hats take us out in the sun.
The sudden warmth and bright light jolt us like a firing gun.
We must stay in line and only speak when we're spoken to.
When one is barely conscious that's an easy thing to do.

I'm back in my locked room starting to fade off to sleep.
I wonder if God can hear my prayers under layers so deep
Please come and save your creation from this destiny.
Sprinkle your magical dust and set this tormented soul free.

The lone wolf sits under the full moon of a winter's night.
His eyes focused forward, the grit of the desert whips him.
Slowly he lifts his head and emits his solitary howl.
The night echoes a response back on its icy breeze.
Roaming packs move close as they corner a helpless prey.
Their presence doesn't pull him away from his true love.
The isolated night envelopes his mind and eases his soul.
Alone but connected as the star dust flows through his veins.

His eyes open reluctantly to take in the view.  He scans the silent treetops for a hint of hopeful blue.  An eerie whistle in the distance emits it's baleful sound.  The icy reminder of winter lies perpetually on the ground. The rattle of a sigh comes from deep within his soul.  He battles the instinctual urge to climb back into his hole.  

It's just another grey Sunday.  Oh just another grey Sunday.  
No shades of color for this day.
Hopeless grey is the mainstay.  

The battle against tomorrow already starting in his head. His cells start shaking as the poison begins to spread.  Vague thoughts of conversations with people he'll never see. The four walls of torture keep him from being free.  The clock ticking on the wall reminds him the end is near.  The irrational racing of his mind only feeds the prickly fear.  

It's just another grey Sunday.  Oh just another grey Sunday.
No shades of color for this day.
Hopeless grey is the mainstay.

The tears of frustration start to steam down his face.  He's never been a willing runner in life's endless race.  He stands at the edge as the parade passes by.  He's invisible to the masses no matter how hard he cries. He's searched the world over for a kindred soul to share.  His lonely journey continues but the pains too much to bear.

It's just another grey Sunday.  Oh just another grey Sunday.  
No shades of color for this day.
Hopeless grey is the mainstay.

With no true friend around I talk to myself.
Or maybe I'll head outside and tune in to the clouds
I've never been intentionally hurt by a flower.
And the grass breathes life into my restless soul.
The breeze carries me away from this plastic world.

I don't belong here amongst the dour faces and slippery minds
Why was I forced to leave the light and inhabit this body?
Some say choice, others say fate. Above me the cosmos twirl indifferently.
A lone tear slowly weaves its way down my creased cheek.

The depth of pain he's feeling can't be described.
He walks the halls alone with no one by his side.
He's slammed into a locker or punched in the face.
There's nowhere to escape in this scholarly place.

He walks home burning.  
His world has stopped turning. His heart holds a yearning.  
His stomach is churning.

He goes into his dad's room to look under the bed.
The colors in his mind swirl a ****** red.
He grabs the gun and begins to plan their demise.
For once he'd like to see the fear of God in their eyes.

He slowly walks to school.
He won't be anyone's fool.
His bag holds revenge's tool.
They'll stop whipping the mule.

When he walks through the door everything goes black.
He blindly squeezes the trigger during his insane attack.
The screams and pain around him don't reach his ears.
When the bullets run out his eyes begin to stream tears.

He drops to the cold floor.
Did he cause this gore?
His soul spills from his core.
He's wide awake once more.

Later that day he sits alone in a cramped cell.
He already knows that he's been ****** to hell.
He wishes that he could change the fury he showed.
But he was a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

He prays for his soul.
This was never the goal.
He's dug his own hole.
He hears the bell toll.

A late night phone call awakes the teen.
The voice calling elicits sweeter dreams.
She's asking for a late night rendezvous.
She says she misses his eyes of blue.

The boy stealthily sneaks down the hall.
There was no way he would ignore the call.
He opens the door and feels the autumn chill.  
And he smiles thinking of the upcoming thrill.

He jumps on his bike to begin the journey.
Even the long ride can't ease his yearning.
As he pulls into the alley at the back of her place.
He sees a beautiful and innocent face.

They make some small talk to break the ice.
But her sweet perfume smells way too nice.
So he leans in closer to steal a passionate kiss.
And she accepts him and grants his wish.

Their breathing was heavy and hands explored.
There was a certain need that couldn't be ignored.  
But before the heat could engulf the night.
There was the sound of a door and suddenly a light.

He made for his bike like a lightning bolt.
And he peddled away like a run away colt.  
The last thing he heard was angry father's yell.
If I ever see you again I'll send you straight to hell.

I'm blind to the ways of this world. My sight has gone astray. The only feeling I have. Is my soul eroding away.

It slowly seeps on out. My essence on the ground. Trampled by many people. Lost and never found.

This shell of me remains. Floating through this sphere. Making that daily journey. A cog within the gear.

Maybe someday I'll look back. And have a chance to say. That it wasn't without meaning.
But today is not that day.

My words stay hidden, eyes black like coal.  Buried beneath stratum of conformity.  Fearing to come out lest they be judged.  They weigh me down with great enormity.

Teeth are gnashing, claws are scratching.  Leaving behind the scars of unrealized potential.   They find an alternate path through the fingertips.  Reaching the illuminated surface is vitally essential

The unfiltered light brings an ******* bliss.  The self imposed shackles begin to break.  My unconstrained words have found a home.  The flow of creativity begins to ease my ache.

I'm surrounded by demons, butchers, and ******;
menacing, chopping, and down on all fours.
They're trying to take away what is rightfully mine;
by enticing with goodies that are tasty and fine.

My will is weakening, breaking, and now shattered;
their voices cajole, promise, and flatter.
Dizzily I stumble towards a celebratory fire;
and happily climb to the top of my funeral pyre.

The flames danced, engulfed, and burned my shell; a
s the ancients danced, laughed, and dragged me to hell.
My voice grew hoarse from the incessant screaming;
as I tried to pinch myself as I knew I was dreaming.

Now I'm surrounded by the wretched, weak, and insane;
begging for a drink, ice, or a drop of cooling rain.
Was it worth falling prey to all those earthly treasures?
It depends on your definition of pain and pleasure .

For I quite enjoy the brimstone, inferno, and heat;
as the Devil chuckles, tortures, and eats ****** meat.
A ******* I am, and a ******* I'll remain;
I believe I've finally found my heavenly domain.

Eyes fixed on the ceiling as the day passes by.
Foggy thoughts of nothing blot out the sunny sky.  
Sighs of exasperation escape my smothered soul.  
Where's the happy days that my depression stole?

I want more.
Rainbow skies
Flowered fields
Your head on my chest.

I want more.
Joyful cries
Kisses sealed
Your love would make me blessed.

Burning tears of misery stream down my face.
All alone in this world I feel so out of place.
The shadows surrojndjng me are my only friends.
Will I break these shackles or will my struggles never end?

I want more.
Rainbow skies
Flowered fields
Your head on my chest.

I want more.
Joyful cries
Kisses sealed
Your love would make me blessed.

Take me in your arms and hold me through the night.
Please whisper softly that it everything will be alright.
All I need is your love to escape from this self imposed cell.
One more day without you is like an eternity in hell.


I want more.
Rainbow skies
Flowered fields
Your head on my chest.

I want more.
Joyful cries
Kisses sealed
Your love would make me blessed.

I rolled over this morning and you weren't there.
Not even the scent of you remains.
Yesterday I was admiring and stroking your hair.
Why you walked out I can't explain.

I lumber down the steps in a jilted lovers daze
Hoping to see your smiling face.
Instead I see a darkened room with a guilty haze.
Your love is something I can't replace.

I start my car and the sad music begins to play.
A heart stabbing melody surrounds me.
I begin to feel dizzy and my head begins to sway.
The tears stream down my face so free.

I drive my car around to clear my aching head.
When I spot you holding another mans hand.
The feelings that overcome me make me feel dead.
I would rather writhe skinless in the gritty sand.

There's no reason to go on with my miserable life.
If I can't have you then I don't want anything.
And just to think I was going to ask you to be my wife.
What in the hell am I going to do with this ring?

Have you ever had one of those days where every noise is a scream?  Your mind is a white cathedral with high ceilings that gleam.  

Your train of thoughts derail from ancient broken tracks.  You try to speak intelligent words but they don't come out as facts.  

Your hands shake like a leaf deserted on a lonely tree.  You're afraid to step outside lest you be upset by the breeze.  

The only safe sanctuary is your warm and comfy bed.  So you climb back under the sheets and hide your troublesome head.

Hey man that sugar cube really hit the spot.  
My nerves were on edge and really taut.  
Let me tell you about the dreams I had last night.
I wish you could have been there it was quite a sight.

There I was talking with an enlightened being.
His eyes were the sunrise and his hair was singing.
The steed he rode was a rainbow dromedary
And his voice was like an over excited canary.

We ran through green fields that were moving.
Alive with sound and scenes that were soothing.
We took a glass elevator that broke the membrane.
Helmets not needed as we breathed the methane.

We slowly floated back to our shining sphere.
And even without wings I didn't have any fear.
We grabbed the umbrellas and went to the beach.
I collected vacated shells and ate them like a peach.

We swam around in my ocean of confusion.
It became quite apparent that life's an illusion.
There's so much more behind the wizards curtain.
That my body is a useless shell I'm quite certain.

The cellular connection that joins us together.
Always has reception regardless of the weather.
Love is the key to life on this mortal coil.
Our feeble minds will always be love's foil.

My friend looked at me with knowing eyes.
He's been telling me for years that life's a lie.
He said that trip you took opened your soul.
Whatever you do, don't climb back in your hole.

There isn't a word for the numbness that has infiltrated my soul.
I could write for a million years and still never convey my thoughts.  
When I first started writing redemption and purification was my goal.
Instead I've realized that the softening I feel is my spirit as it slowly rots.

I have little left to offer that seems original or genuinely mine.
The light bulb rattles and remains ingloriously dark as I cry out for inspiration.
My mind churns with regurgitated thoughts as my creativity has gone blind.
There's physical pain running through my circuits as I deal with my consternation.

Self loathing and sadistic degradation have replaced the path of light.
The voices must be real and telling the truth as I would never lead myself astray.
Now is the time to forget about writing and drift off into the wilderness of night.
I'll close my eyes like a child of four and whisper for salvation as I hopelessly pray.

Outside my window is a morbid view.
Outside my window is a morbid view.
I've got a case of the Wintertime blues.  

Green leaves of summer are dead and brown.
Green leaves of summer are dead and brown.
Bitter winds of winter blow them all around.  

Grey skies above me threaten icy rain.
Grey skies above me threaten icy rain.  
If I had the money I'd take a southern train.

I drink a cup of coffee to warm my bones.  
I drink a cup of coffee to warm my bones.  
I'm waiting for Spring's call on my telephone.  

The snow starts swirling in the bitter air.
The snow starts swirling in the bitter air.
I'm gonna stay right here in my angry chair.

A boy of eight sits quietly behind the closed door.  He's losing himself in his made up places. Staying put in reality has become quite a chore.  Sweat streams down his face as his mind races.

The fighting has escalated beyond the screaming and yells.  Bloodied lips and bruised faces are now the norm.  He's trying to concoct magical incantations or possibly spells.  There has be a sturdy shelter against the growing storm.  

One day her learns that she's leaving for another.  That his world will be flipped upside down.  He knows every little boy needs a mother.  He's ravaged with guilt as he wears his thorny crown.  

His father somehow makes ends meet as a single dad.  But there's sadness as the bottle becomes a friend.  The little boy watches from a distance but he's quite sad.  Not even a hug from his only son makes the sorrow end.

The boy now grows and is in his teenage years.  The father has remarried but its a shallow tonic.  The boy had now found his release in a case of beer.  The father now stands quietly in the shadows, isn't that ironic?

The boy is fully grown and keeps the pain within. Morals and ethics are lost in the strangling haze.  He decides to move to the city of sin. There he  meets an angel that would speak and amaze.

His name was Mark and the streets is where he dwelled.  He talked of freedom and power of belief.    Although he spoke softly the exuberance he expelled.  Changed his life like the color on a leaf.

He found my purpose thanks to a homeless man.  He left that city vowing never to return.  As He travelled back his eyes began to scan.  Somewhere in Utah his soul began to yearn.


He pulled off road and saw a visual scene.  There were canyons of color and voiceless song.  Infinity was set before him previously unseen.  He finally found a place where he belongs.

He stayed with the landscape for about a week.  He made promises to the night that he swore he'd keep.  As he drove away a tear streamed down his cheek.  It was time to get back to the world of sheep.

He went back home and settled into an old routine. The beers started flowing and the good times ensued.  He had already forgotten what kept him clean.  He made his plan to leave again with a vision that skewed.  

He got behind the wheel of that beat up car.  The city of sin would welcome him with open legs.  Fortunately for him he didn't get far.  The oil spilled out like a broken keg.

Little did he know that fate stepped in.  He took a job he only planned for a while.  Then he heard the door open and lifted his chin.  There walked in his angel with a school girl smile.

The courtship lasted for a few sweet weeks.  He knew he loved her well before they met.  And she knew his souls was what she seeks.  And still to this day he is in forever to a homeless man's debt.

One step. One breath. Each day is a new test. Laughing fits Crying spells. Picking at new scabs.

The space between life and pain is separated by a thin veil. I've opened up the curtains and cast away the darkness. The razor cuts of his tongue are silenced by my love. Yet yet yet the painful choices of my now paralyze thought.

Wrapped inside a cotton brain with small thoughts and toy trains. My ego seeks how to learn without leaving a perpetual burn. My brothers and sisters await at the gate. I see them clear i see them now but they can't wait.

Lets start anew today amongst the ruins of the festive clothes. A bird will rise with a red nose in tow squirting water from a flower. This bird climbs and climbs to an apex of thought. Behind the world and over forever. Rain slowly falls and floods the world, pain is gone, a rainbow appears. A new life begins today on a hazy green path.

This means everything and nothing at all. It's all nonsense and jibberish. Consciousness streams and flows. And it feels **** good to be me for one single moment. One drop of irrelevant rain into life's ocean. The pencil is dull so I must stop. Happiness ensues. The crowd cheers the end of the show. A young girl wears a shiny white mask.

The road I travel has called me again.
Yet, that's not true, as the voice was never quiet.
It was only hidden away like a pair of shameful eyes.
Closed to the admonishments of a sadistic lover.

Yet always there bubbling, percolating, cajoling in a soothing voice.
Beckoning me with memories of freedom and the comforting drone of the road.
Reminders of rest areas swarmed with hopeful travelers with red eyes and creaking joints.
The vending machine stand stoically in a row like good soldiers standing at attention.

Windows open, air buffeting, my face is that of a child catching the new rays of spring.
Music blaring, singing along, my soul rising like a barometer as high pressure moves in.
Right lane driving, eyes gleaming, each passing car tells a story of hope and and unveiled inspiration.
Small towns passing, unrealized lives, I ache to know you. Yet our paths must remain distantly apart.

Night falls and the excitement only builds.  The bulbs of light above are my guide.  No map has their magnetic draw.
The scene changes as the road becomes deserted. My fellow journeyers are swimming or ordering room service.
My metal friend shall be my bed.  This jug of water my frigid shower in the morning.  Late night talk radio my lullaby song.
My thoughts are pure and calm as I curl up in the backseat.  No fear or remorse that I've spurned all lovers. My needs are few and my heart is full.

Dandelion thoughts lie dormant in my head.  Underneath the icy years nearly dead.  Won't the sun come out and melt their pain.  They crave the saving waters of springtime rain.  

The lemon headed children want to dance and be free.  Escape the Wintery misery and dance in the breeze.  Fall and laugh upon a carpet of emerald green.  Even in perpetual darkness you have this dream.  

Frozen in time they wait for blissful release.  This hibernating coma provides little peace. Stuck inside their own mind for all of these years.  Buried with blooming flowers fuels their chilly fears.

The lemon headed children want to dance and be free.  Escape the Wintery misery and dance in the breeze.  Fall and laugh upon a carpet of emerald green.  Even in perpetual darkness you have this dream.

There's a noise above them as the world starts to crack. A tiny bit of light seeps through the inky  black.  The fresh aroma of life swirls through the throng.  The heads begin to bobble to their creators song.

The lemon headed children want to dance and be free.  Escape the Wintery misery and dance in the breeze.  Fall and laugh upon a carpet of emerald green.  Even in perpetual darkness you have this dream.

I bear no responsibility for my evil deeds.
I was born this way so the good book states.
I'm allowed to ***** nilly spread my seed.
Jesus will step in to save me from a fiery fate.

I'll just go through life in pursuit of pleasure.
Nevermind that knife I just stuck in your back.
My Sunday confessional is my true measure.
I'll enter heaven when the Earth fades to black.

Why should I give a penny to the homeless poor?
When I earned every penny with this evolved mind.
Those slobs will never enter through heaven's door.
Get a job, it's not like they're deaf, dumb, or blind.

While I sit in my cozy house and think of my life.
Maybe I've been a little coarse to my fellow man.
But isn't it God's duty to tend to other people's strife?
Hey he made this place, I assume he has a plan.

Sleep eludes me as the parasite invades its host.
It burrows deep into the welcoming grey mass.
Find the stream my friend.
Swim through the mystery.
Find your place in my world.
Turn me into a unfeeling, unthinking vegetated presence.
Turn me away from light and love.
I welcome the numb darkness of the void.
I open myself to your soothing poison.
Take me away from sensibility and pain.

So I was standing knee deep in a river's stream.
What a beautiful day it's every fisherman's dream.
I cast my line out and let the current work.
And every now and then I'd give my pole a ****.

Suddenly I heard the snapping sound of a stick.
I dropped a load in my pants that felt like a brick.
And there standing not more than 50 yards away.
But a grizzly bear in the sparkling sun of May.

I slowly start to back up planning a retreat.
The last thing I want is to be a midday treat.
Well I moved too fast and splashed in the water.
It certainly appeared I'd be this hungry bear's fodder.

So I hit dry ground and climbed the nearest tree.
I thought to myself, Aha, he'll never find me.
Little did I know a bear's prowess for climbing.
Yes that whimpering sound you hear is me whining.

As the bear got closer I thought of my demise.
I planned to be strong despite my painful cries.
I could hear his growling and his teeth were sharp.
My head started swooning and I heard an angel's harp.

But at the last moment the bear heard a sweet sound
And this caused him to **** his head around.
What could be more interesting than some living meat?
Well a gorgeous female bear in the throes of heat.

He quickly rappelled down that tree in great haste.
It's not often that a bear will let a meal go to waste.
As the couple sauntered off I saw him turn his head.
That look said any other day and you'd be dead.

The world wins.
I now concede.
Go ahead and cure my terminal disease.

Prescribe some pills.
My eyes fixed ahead.
The independent me is now completely dead.

I'll fit right in.
My smile really hurts
Grab your black shovel and cover me with dirt.

The grey cubicle walls
Are my favorite place.
I don a dull mask that covers my face.

I bow at science’s altar
I'm a cog within the wheel
Numbness permeates until I can’t feel

I'm saddled by the dreams of others. Their vicarious thoughts steal my youth.
Heal the weak and the battered. Make their eyes shine bright again.

Find a way to mine the treasure. Maybe create those flying shoes.
Any way to make a dollar. The emptiness has been renewed.

Sorry to disappoint the adoring. My mind works a different way.
My words are my currency. This path is paved with many jewels.

In a dark elder forest from long ago;
sat maiden Isabella with ***** aglow.
Her nightly visitor would soon appear;
with his musky fur and pointed ears

She ate some shrooms to open her head;
and wildly danced naked with the living dead
The moon peered on with a ***** gaze;
as she chased rainbows in her psychedelic craze.

Her lover approached with a rabbit in tow;
with a sudden move blood soaked the snow.
They drank the offering with an ethereal bliss;
then his lips covered hers with an urgent kiss.

Her chest heaved deeply and her ***** shook;
her sounds were guttural as he explored every nook.
She pulled him to the ground to consummate their love;
he obliged with a growl but used a velvet glove.

The animals in the forest felt the instinctual need;
as he howled shrilly when he planted the seed.
Maiden Isabella fell into an exhausted sleep;
as her lover made an escape without a peep.

The sun caught her eye and she awoke with a moan;
she was alone in her bed and chilled to the bone.
What a crazy dream I had she said with a sigh;
but then she saw the claw marks on her thighs.

I've been often asked if I believe in an immortal being.
Will I burn in the fire or fly with the angels that are singing.
It's a question that I've rolled around in my troubled mind.  
But I've found that thinking makes the answer hard to find.

Instead I've concerned myself with today and the moment.
I observe the things around me that make life oh so potent.
So here's what I'm going to do with the rest of the story.
I'm going to reminisce about the things that show his glory.

I've been lucky enough to be blessed with kids and wife.
And except for some bumps and bruises a healthy life.
There's a roof overhead and there's food on the table.
And I live in a country that's not war torn but quite stable.

When I pause for a moment and quietly observe natures scene
I know in my heart that it's no accident that it's so serene.
Are we just lucky to find ourselves on the planet of blue.
It's not really a question I can answer you'll have to ask you.

But I will have to concede that the the truth is unknown.
Science tells me that there's no one sitting on the throne.
We are all a cosmic accident that began with a boom.
And at the end of our lives we head for a darkened room.

But let's circle back to the original provoking query.
As you probably guess I have my own thoughts and theories
So if you placed a gun to my head and made me guess.
I would close my eyes and mumble a definitive maybe yes.

I'm a joke, I'm a fraud. I pretend I can write. My mind's cloaked in darkness but you think I'm so bright.

I'm insane. I'm a fool. There's voices in my head. If I had any talent I'd turn these words into bread.

I'm depressed. I'm ecstatic. As you can see I'm confused. Like a caged up animal I belong in a zoo.

I'm a lover. I'm a father. I've tried to turn it around. Thank God my family or I'd be buried underground.

I rolled over this morning and you weren't there.
Not even the scent of you remains.
Yesterday I was admiring and stroking your hair.
Why you walked out I can't explain.

I lumber down the steps in a jilted lovers daze
Hoping to see your smiling face.
Instead I see a darkened room with a guilty haze.
Your love is something I can't replace.

I start my car and the sad music begins to play.
A heart stabbing melody surrounds me.
I begin to feel dizzy and my head begins to sway.
The tears stream down my face so free.

I drive my car around to clear my aching head.
When I spot you holding another mans hand.
The feelings that overcome me make me feel dead.
I would rather writhe skinless in the gritty sand.

There's no reason to go on with my miserable life.
If I can't have you then I don't want anything.
And just to think I was going to ask you to be my wife.
What in the hell am I going to do with this wedding ring?

Sometimes the words stay hidden inside.
Hibernating in the frosty chill of pain.
A noiseless scream escapes the void.
Bouncing off the treacherous walls of doom.
They seek the comfort of a friendly ear.
Someone to understand the crushing force.
But below the surface the timid words hide.
Engulfed in bitterness and timeless shame.

There's sadness in that brown paper bag  blowing in the breeze.
Scratching along the pavement as the snow falls overhead.
I want to hold and caress him until the pain leaves his mind.
Maybe stare down deep in his soul until we from an endless bond.

With a certain jealous admiration I take him to my quiet shelter.
Now rescued from the bitter wind he sits in desperate silence.
No need to thank me my friend for saving your hollow life.
Have a cup of tea and enjoy the comforts of the sedentary creature.

How can he just sit there with a blank look on his dull face?
The heat of the room seems to have frozen him solid.
The life, meager as it was, has drained away leaving a shell.
All he does is longingly stare at the dancing trees outside.

I open the door and place him on the cold cement path.
Instantly he comes alive and resumes his tenuous travels.
Bumping and rolling along he continues his joyful journey.
Shaking my head I close the door and turn on my TV.

Would you come and join the party in my head.
There's plenty of room in my cavernous skull.
I'm sure the occupants enjoy the pulsating red.
As they dance fervishly and intelligently mull.

The multitudes jostle for position to be the voice.
The echos of confusion bounce off the grey walls.
The words that spill come forth without a choice.
I'm sure my psychiatrist is expecting my daily call.

Outside I'm pushing papers from here to there. There's no real purpose in my actions.
I smile and appropriately nod to appease them. Responsibility rules my every day.
I wander like a zombie through the corridors. My mask is well maintained and flawless.

Inside is an inferno that melts away my mind. The remnants drip slowly down to my soul.
It cries out from the torture and the pain. A hole opens and exposes the open wound.
Please stop staring at my naked essence. I'm a child seeking a comforting womb.

The light of a new day just started tumbling over the horizon.  A slight southerly breeze salutes the silhouetted trees.  I make my way quietly out of the house to meet an old friend. His excited ding ding ding welcomes me as I open the door.  We have made this journey many times before, and we both know this is the last.  

The road is a curious thing.  Born out of need, and more importantly, ingenuity.  She calls from the edge of darkness.  An insatiable siren that has beckoned, and not been resisted by, restless sojourners.  As I make my way onto the interstate I hear her song clearly.

The jewels of the road are in your heart.  The path is the same no matter who you are.  Let your soul turn the wheel of fate.  You'll soon arrive safely at heavens hate.

Miles and miles of fields and barns.  Rusted out windmills guard the ghosts of yesterday. An occasional whiff of soon to be bacon burns my nostrils.   I have 20 hours of bliss ahead of me.  My friend quietly hums as children with hopeful faces silently wave.

The oft overlooked Missouri River separates me from my first border.  My heart races.  I feel like a conquering hero with the blood of a dragon on my sword.

The prepubescent flatness of the land continues.  I've entered the land of the Big Red.  Flags, helmets, and banners adorn every house. A religion that would only work in a desolate land full empty people.  

A blue sign points towards rest and the promise of snacks.  I am greeted by the weary.  Bags under their eyes and children clinging to their legs.  We nod at each other with a certain understanding.  I splash icy water on my face, possibly refreshed for a moment, and head to Vend O' World.  For a measles sum the envy of the culinary world awaits my deft touch.  B2 it is.  My fate is sealed.

Welcome to Colorful Colorado. On a brown sign nonetheless.  Only a few hours until I race among the lifelines of the giants. Cattle chew thoughtlessly beneath the blazing sun.  Death is all over the interstate.  Guts, brains, and gore.  Ain't progress grand?  

The illuminated hat promises thin sliced beef. The saliva flows like a unimpeded river.  A muffled voice greets me with the rehearsed verse of an untrustworthy worker.  I grab the bag greedily, almost dropping it on account of the grease.  Ahhhh that really hit the spot.  Donde esta el bano?

I'm driving through the sky.
I knew that I could fly.
But I think I'm going to cry
Because that curve up ahead
Is filling me with great dread
If I falter then I'll be quite dead.

I stop for a moment to take in the celestial view.  I may grab some of those pearls for my future wife. The air is so piny pure. I'm reinvigorated but need some rest.  

There is frost on the windshield.  I scrape it off with a frisbee I find in the trunk.  I turtle my way down the mountain. The scene changes quite suddenly and I enter the desert as I cross state lines.

A calming peace sweeps over my body.  I am at one with the landscape and she is one with me.  Together we dance slowly.  A great vastness of nothing. A solitary land with no visible life but yet teeming with creation. Tears slowly fill my eyes.  True love at least.  Will it be reciprocated?  Only time will tell.

The purple of the night surrounds me as I enter the gorge.  Imposing buttes and mountain curves keep my knuckles white. A clearing awaits with sad trailers, forming a community, standing in the desert.  But maybe I misjudged. A bonfire of sorts shows the dancing of some sort of festival.

I come up over a ridge and a magnificent sights unfolds.  The glittering gold of hope.  An oasis for the degenerate addict.  I press on the gas as adrenaline fills my being.  It's time to make my mark on this world.  Like a lamb to slaughter I squeal and turn into the city.

I remember the day dad brought you home.
You were barking and jumping after that plastic bone.
Your eyes met mine and your tongue found my face.
You were my first real friend that couldn't be replaced.

We spent the days running and dancing around the trees.
You were always the first to come when I skinned my knees.
When I jumped in the lake you'd run along the shore.
And then you'd catch a scent and run off to explore.

During my early teenage years girls entered my mind.
I know you waited by the window under the blinds.
But even though I barely even scratched your ears.
You stayed by my side during those troubled years.

As I packed up my things to start my college life.
I turned around to notice you with a tear in your eye.
Memories flooded my head with the good times together.
We looked at each other and knew we'd be friends forever.

A few years later I received a call that twisted my head.
My dad said that you'd fallen ill and would soon be dead.
They took you to the vet to try to find a helpful answer.
After all the poking and tests they said that you had cancer.

Well I came home to visit you during your final days.
I could tell the end was near by your distant gaze.
Although you were seconds away from heaven's place.
You lifted your head just to have a last lick of my face.  

Now that I'm married and have a kid who's turned ten.  
It's time to head to town to start the cycle again.
I can't wait for his eyes to light up when I come in the door.
It'll be one of those memories that I'll remember forever more.

Perpetual bliss bleeds down his skin. Bright eyes secrete a knowing glow. His aura produces a child's grin. His spirit soars above the fire below.

He takes on the bullets of angry words. Rueful laughter tries to shrink his heart. They rip his essence with claws like birds. Sturdy he stands when the pain starts to smart.

With a smile he side steps the herd. He turns to watch as they reach the cliff. Their different worlds separated by a line that's blurred. They plunge into darkness on a burning skiff.

These words don't belong to me.
They come from a silky soft voice.
That calls from the tops of the trees.
She never really gives me a choice.

When she starts to sing her song.
I become her willing faithful slave.
My hand moves effortlessly along.
She makes this meek man quite brave.

When she leaves my mind goes to black.
I want to lay in bed and cover my head.
Her angelic musings are like my crack.
When this happens my words go dead.

Standing alone at the edge of oblivion.
Looking out at the ever present darkness.
Behind me is the beautiful sound of a child's laughter.
So innocent and full of life's light.
This doesn't move me in the slightest.
I ready myself for the final steps.
A smile sits rigidly on my stone face.
I plunge into eternity's infinite ocean.
Quietly I fade to black.
Release.

Outside of mind and time resides a place of animated tranquility.  
Alive with the dance of the infinite yet completely still.  
Like the glacier lake that is eerily placid, before the breath of dawn sweeps across the day, and the echoes of her depths break the surface.  
Do you not hear the melodious sway of the saplings?  
Do you not see the look of ecstasy upon the granite face of yonder mountain?  
They are dancing , twirling, and convulsing in the ******* light.  
With a fluidity of motion that makes the angels blush.
She commands your attention yet asks for nothing.  
She's able to provide you with perpetual bliss but you must turn away from yourself.
Silky scene, silky dream.  
She awaits at the door naked, golden dawn and purple dusk, shifting her hues and widening her penetrating eyes.  
Will you knock or stand with you back against the equally inviting abyss?

Tears are forming behind light blue. You peer into my soul so confused. I'm bleeding out after years of abuse. It's too bad that you didn't get a better view.

I shake and shiver behind this mask. The child inside keeps begging to ask. Where's the sun so I can bask. This life has turned into a gruesome task.

The shovel sits by the bed in wait. Soon enough I'll meet the final fate. Clouds will break and I'll escape the hate. Rising above my heaven awaits.

When I pull myself out of bed as my nails scratch down the sheets.
When I face the world on the darkest days when my soul aches .
When I want to run from faces that I meet on the busy street.
When getting out of the elevator gives me chilly shakes.

It's because of you that I face the daily pain
It's because of you that I want to dance in the rain.
It's because of you that I can try to cure my wrongs.
It's because of you that I want to write you this song.

When the voices inside my head bring me to my knees.
When the world stops making sense to a plain and simple man.
When I can only find peace by swinging between the trees.
When I'm lost without a compass or a rational plan.

It's because of you that I face the daily pain
It's because of you that I want to dance in the rain.
It's because of you that I can try to cure my wrongs.
It's because of you that I want to write you this song

I can't repay this debt.   I can't shed enough tears.
I'm so lucky we met.  You've calmed all my fears.
You've saved my life.  You've made me feel.
God gave me a wife.  Now I know love is real.

I know you don't want to change me.
Even if you did it would be a futile attempt.
You wouldn't change the river that roams free.
Because nature would hold you in contempt.

You patiently put up with my darkest days.
When my mouth spills oil and my eyes flash.
But your grace and devotion is always on display.
You're ***** waits for my inevitable crash.

When my eyes get distant and look down the road.
You let me dream and reminisce of the past.
You smile and laugh as if my stories never get old.
Like a child my mood changes lightning fast.

15 years removed from when I said love is a scam.
And with one look you can make this man melt.
You've accepted and loved me for who I am.
Without you love is something I would've never felt.

I don't have anything left to give.
My spirit left long ago.
Shine and paint my pretty shell;
until satisfaction reaches your lips.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Inertia keeps moving me in linear time;
as my dull eyes search the clock.
Ticking away until the body gives;
and I reunite with the cosmic whole.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Release into the infinite offers some relief.
A deep breath escapes my lips;
as the void swallows my earthly fears.
Now I float in pure amniotic bliss.

Laughter hurts my tortured soul.
A smile knifes through my veins.
A hug crushes my fragile bones.
Your love accentuates the pain.

Dull pale blue eyes open up to the scene of a busy city. The hurried rush of empty souls drives a nail through his bitter heart. He's invisible to the naked eye. Their educated minds can not see his plight. He scowls at them with broken thoughts. Their plastic smiles light a fire within. He tries to stand with creaking bones. The chill of last night brings him to his knees. He screams and shouts into the icy air. God won't you take me to heaven above. He grabs his sign and heads to the bridge. The uncaring stares seal his fate. He's crossed the line inside his mind. He manages a smile as plummets to earth. No headlines for our fallen friend. Not even a stone to remember his name. He's now above in a better place. Laughing and running thorough a field of green.

I see you floating in the breeze way up above the trees.  Can you see me?  I see you stalking on the ground everything warm and brown.  Would you hurt me?  I see your eyes as sharp as brutal claws only following natures law.  Do you fear me?  

I'm just a momentary blur in your life. Your presence doesn't cause a minute of strife.  Your instinct will always keep you above.  Our star dust connection seals out love.  

I see you diving through the air chasing after a timid hare. Would you eat me?  I see you chasing a smaller foe as your talons dangle low.  Would you scar me?  I see you quickly dropping down as your blood spills on the ground. Do you blame me?

As I stand over your lifeless shell.  In my mind rings a hollow bell.  My human nature makes me do wrong.  My love for you is still ever strong. I lift your body back to the sky.  Our connected spirits will never die.

I chase the rabbit down the hole.
My only goal is to strip its soul.
Of earthly entrapments that plague the life.
Of a pure being born of the light.

Darkness invades every crease.
The paltry leaves dangle on the trees.
Movement ahead suggests my target is near.
Worms eat my heart but my head is clear.

There's a glimpse of light up ahead.
Feelings of dread infiltrate my head.
What I thought was the end is glowing eyes.
The enormity of my task takes me by surprise.

A battle ensues that shakes my core.
Blood and gore of the days of yore.
I make my final strike wearing a velvet glove.
This was an act of mercy born out of love.

Now we run through a flowered field.
Our love wields a sword and and a shield.
Hand in hand we float on the jeweled stream.
With eyes wide open living in a
perpetual dream.

Someone
A rueful smile mistaken for kindness.
Stone faced strangers callously staring through my cries.
Deaf ears unable to hear my pleas for mercy.
Uncaring eyes watching my insane words tumble from my mind.
Anyone
Anything but this
Please hold my head as I drill the hole.
May the ghosts of yesterday find their peace in the sunrise of today.
Alone
Spiraling towards peaceful oblivion
Beyond pain and hope.
Cascades of light enveloping my being.
The collective one dances to the mid-summer's breeze
Stillness within perpetual motion.
My tears are dried.
I am you and you are me.
Completion

I can't be a wooden man.  As you pull on my strings.
I know your devious plan.  That **** hurts me and stings.

I see your wandering eyes. When we walk down the street.
I'm tired of your obvious lies. As I lay between hardened sheets.

The late night phone calls.  Where you whisper in the dark.
The sudden visits to the mall. When he climbs in and lights a spark.

Now there's a bump in the front.  And you're trying to say its me.
But I've gotta be really blunt.  You never did make me squee.