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You held me
Like you have held me
Like you do hold me
Like you love me
Like you want to be with me

You kissed my neck
Like you love me
Like you care about me
Like you adore me
Like you want my warmth in your arms

You tell me
Tell all you want is
For me to be happy
For me to smile again
For me to stop making myself bleed
Every night.

But if you close your eyes
And you listen to me
You feel my hand in yours
You listen to what your heart is telling you
You will know

Please know
Despite the fact that you think
Every time you pull me closer
I feel better
I hate myself less,
I feel worse
I know you don't want me
I know you don't love me
I know you are scared of what
I am capable of doing
Capable of doing to myself
Capable of doing to you

You made me want to attack
Peel away all the skin left
Rip out the ****** remains of what used to be
My heart
Bury it in the ground
A place for it to live
Finally settled
Wrapped in white linen blood stained brown

Flashbacks
Your hands on my neck
Lips on my cheek
Fingers interlaced in your hair
A dark room
Moments of perfection
Eyes closed
Losing the moments quicker
Than ice melting

Reality
A punch in the stomach
Gasping for breath
Tears
Stinging in my mouth
Your eyes on my
Wounds
Battle scars
Open
Gaping
Bleeding

You broke down my walls
With a wrecking ball of glass and
Apologies
How many times now?
How many times have you put me though this?
How many times have you lied to me?
How many times have you been the reason for my bleeding arms?
How many times have you held me like a lover
When you didn't love me?
How many?

I am being haunted with flashbacks
Flashbacks of you
And the way you loved me
The way you've tortured me
But
I can't let go
I will never be able to let go.
 Feb 2012 Glenn McCrary
WS Warner
Static, memories
Emanating, separating  
The postcard- perfect
Still life speaks
From its storied past.
Invisible, to drift
Among  
The florid aphorisms,
Ending in
Deleterious debris,
Aftermath of
The inevitable.

Empty room, echo hollow
Tabula rasa -
Carpet clean, quite candid in it's
Return to callow.
Consciousness athirst,
Absorbing phenomena
Effervesce, inquisitive
Ideas foment,
Sealed inside a question.
The what -
Against the narrow
Scarcity,
And fatigue of should.

A tender malleable
Youth,
Betrayed, under
An assumed decorum -
Residue of truth,
Flattened emotion
Privations of a self
Unheard;
Misplaced affirmation,
Buried pathologies  
In architecture
Fear manifests symbolic.

Harboring apathy
The lunacy of pious
Pedigree,
Import contagion,
Fetters of benignity
Doubt and indecision  
Into ******
Cognizance,
Fallow spirits
Seep fumes of decay,
Credulity bleeds a human stain.

Social edifice, inoculated  
Heirs of neurosis;
Palpable, sensual pain
And transience, though
Tacit - remain,
Our haunted history,
The blind hyperbole,
Maudlin
Forbearance, this haven,
A portrait
Of immaculate condition,
Nurtured with precision
Under sterling pretense.

Provincial domicile -
House beautiful,
Savage irony -
Unseen treasure
Innocence unabridged,
Faces, tiny creations;
Compliant vessels
Wounded,  
While modernism murmurs  
Its promise.

Brave New World,
In a late model sedan,
Domestic ranch on a
Corner lot,
Suburban natives,
Silence means security.
The misunderstood
Speak louder -
Consumerism beneath    
Unvarnished ambition,
Never could
Repair the brokenness within...

© 2011 & 2018 W. S. Warner
 Feb 2012 Glenn McCrary
WS Warner
Frozen moments,
embraced,
visions of
luminous things,
unpretentious
pearls dancing;
embers of memory linger,
elegy of the lachrymose,
this horizoning self
lying low in saturnine
tranquility
and repose – paternity lost
to the provisional.

The cross of lassitude,
forming
scars of loss;
estrangement,
preface to
ineluctable autonomy.
Earthen treasure - immortal
footprints, the migration
of fair maidens across my
effusive heart.

Venus trio in bloom,
aesthetic allusion,
ephemeral incarnations
of beauty - perishable fruit,
transcending the plebeian.
Aerial substance-
the hermeneutic,
betraying desire’s
ambrosial tyranny;
The permuted passage -
savor the sojourn, submit
to the fated peregrination.

Purple orchids blossom,
immortal creatures,
culminating
in perfection
from the sheath
respectively,
each plume,
singular,
the continuum of
splendor, mediate
the inviolable.
Eternity compounding,
time and essence suffuse
the already and not yet
into an
orbiting mosaic.

The susurrant devotions
of a satellite father,
summon the quest -
both, and,
absence and proximity,
conduits of
distress and peace
ironically,
solace and
terror
traverse the
same path.
Plunge though,
deep, the depth of pain;
deeper, sweeter
the taste of pleasure.

Engender and witness,
window into
preeminence,
surface azure,
the sacred -
inimitable gravity of
grandeur,
ma petite,
you - are
lived poetry
seen and heard;
cosmic order,
a mediating heuristic -
to love is to see,
in the dismal,
gift of distance.
child of delight,
evermore, Don’t I hold you?

Beauty and strangeness,
music found
in linear,
secret places
beyond the tangent,
purview of limitation,
arousing imagination -
infinititude as near
as it is far.

Long loneliness -
dissonance that
resolves;
perceiving,
the tertiary refrain -
as exquisite verse,
and matchless liqueur,
sublime gratuity
derived
through
doors of surrender.
Daughter,
in adoration and wonder,
I hold you.
Flames
Licking around the columns
Into the windows.
Acid rain
Splattering my decently ancient notebook
Tears on a dark day.
Taffeta
Crumpling into a heap gracefully on the floor
Embellished with sunshine.
Search lights
Shining into my open window
I know they're looking for you.
A voice
In the dark
Your voice, how I've missed it.
They won't miss us.
They won't blink an eye.
Won't shed a tear for our disappearance.
I kiss you one last time.
Let the flames engulf my fragile frame.
 Feb 2012 Glenn McCrary
Julia kRu
*

streets merge in my eyes -
where am i? what am i?
skies vanish, fall apart -
what am i? who am i?
sitting here, in the road;
in the middle of this lane -
broken, stolen and cross-legged;
songs and tunes - they still remain
the best cure for my pain!

(c)kRu, 15.11.-19.11.2010
Before the gate has been closed,
before the last question is posed,
before I am transposed.
Before the weeds fill the gardens,
before there are no pardons,
before the concrete hardens.
Before all the flute-holes are covered,
before things are locked in then cupboard,
before the rules are discovered.
Before the conclusion is planned,
before God closes his hand,
before we have nowhere to stand.
 Feb 2012 Glenn McCrary
J
Memories
 Feb 2012 Glenn McCrary
J
I’m in love with all that I've seen
And all that I’ve yet to see
Memories flow inside of me
That I’ve yet to memorize--
The only thing I can do is
memorize the thought of them
in hope that some day they will
become future memories.
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my *******,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
279

Tie the Strings to my Life, My Lord,
Then, I am ready to go!
Just a look at the Horses—
Rapid! That will do!

Put me in on the firmest side—
So I shall never fall—
For we must ride to the Judgment—
And it’s partly, down Hill—

But never I mind the steeper—
And never I mind the Sea—
Held fast in Everlasting Race—
By my own Choice, and Thee—

Goodbye to the Life I used to live—
And the World I used to know—
And kiss the Hills, for me, just once—
Then—I am ready to go!
You grab spiderwebs with your teeth

just to understand the detail

of something above you.

You only matter to you.

The Universe has more to deal with

than your problems that surround you.

So dust off your dirt you know as fear

and reform to the plastic reality,

we call life.
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