There is a Buddhist proverb about loss.
when a vase breaks, do not become saddened
the vase was never going to survive
until the end of time.
In time, all things break, fall, leave, die
but it was all going to happen no matter what.
so when the vase cracks, shatters;
there has been no loss, only a fulfillment of destiny
In this way, all things make their end,
and their peace, with the earth

But there is one thing the Buddhists forgot
time
Yes it is true, that it is the course of all things
To leave ones life at some point.
And perhaps it is destiny indeed.
But there is loss.
Time cannot be brought back, replaced, or remade.
all of the time we were supposed to share is gone

In the end, time is also destined to run out.
Maybe time
Is the only noble loss to feel sad about.
No attachment to physical things;
Vases, cars, bodies, buildings, grass, or a book.
But rather an attachment
To the future- all of the hope and dreams of what's to come.

I am at peace with all of my losses
Except for that of time

A vast expanse of gray
no blue, no light.
as above, so inside
no light for miles,
only a gray curtain pulled shut.
sometimes that rain comes
buckets of water dumped out.
sometimes the rain doesn't come,
but it's still there.
In the gray curtain pulled shut.
As above me, so inside me

Everyone sat
criss-cross-applesauce
in our hearts.
Perfume is made
with dead things, right?

I try hard to sound
important,
when I write *******
because
there are bodies
reading this *******.

And bodies grow and wither.
They thrive and survive.
They get married
and die alone.
They die.

To become dead.

Perfume is made
with dead things, right?

The tears comfort me
Offering me sweet release from the numbness.
I feel whole.
Sadness and happiness blend into one
As the water runs over my face.

I'm thinking too much again
Every night it's the same.
Regrets, anxiety, fear, guilt
Never go away.
Each one a different voice in my head
Telling me they hate me.

But tonight there are tears.
And as they leave my body
So does some of the pain
And I feel whole again.

You always said you wanted
To be an aerospace engineer.
Someone who dedicates their whole life
To something so far away
Something they can never fully have.

I know how painful a life like that can be.
Because I'm already living it with you.