Thank you Jesus for bringing my Uncle Paul back safely.

The rock
I hated the rock in the beginning
It stressed me out
I didn't know how to park without runni ng it over
I got stuck on it once with the car
I always thought I'd do it again and again after that bad experience
I had no choice but to **** it up and park in the parking spot with the rock there.
So after 3 yrs I got used to parking with it there, not every time was easy and I was often criticized by my landlord on my parking but I was determined and had no other option.
So over time it got easier and I rarely ever freak out over the "stupid" rock.
Now it's just what I live with day to day.
I can apply to rock to my negative thoughts here.
I realized I was less alone and crazy when I initially had to park with the rock I thought it was so silly and inconvenient and thought I was being a baby about it.
My uncle came and had to park in my spot last night and he himself hit the rock. It was new to him, he also got angry about it. Similar response to my first time,
he took it out on the rock and moved it out of the ground with his stregnth and put it back after. To show the rock whats what.
To move it and let it go back and move on.
This really taught me a lesson today.
In my own trauma and negative thinking, I got used to the rock and stopped feeling I couldn't learn how to park with the obstacle, it helped me attach this experience to my own thinking. That maybemovertime my panic and negative thinking, I can get used to and not worry about them as much, slowly hear them in my head and not follow them as often or believe Its not possible.
I thank paul and God for showing me this

This morning paul is moving the rock again/the obstacle, he doesnt want to pull out with the car in risks of it
He has such guts
He asked "what are you so afraid of? You're like your mother"
He taught me we dont have to chose to struggle
Even though he lives his life in complete hardships

Oh Heavenly Father
hold me and my earthly life together like glue.
The papers that got lost in the wind, came back to you and were white, not blank pages bc you filled them with your words
Holy, Holy
Light
I want to listen to the creator, He brought me on to this earth.

If God can create rain, or lightening, how is that not a miracle?
Or a mind blowing concept at the least?
Just because we see it often doesnt mean it's not incredibly different and awesome.
And just as powerful as a biblical story.
Imagine if you saw rain for the first time.
People back then saw miracles for the first time, or they saw Gods powers like turning Lots wife into a pillar of salt.
No matter how ridiculous it sounds,
God can do anything.
If he created the universe, what makes us second guess the stories in the bible?
Anything is possible with Him.
We are always trying to figure things out on our own.
If God answered prayers right away all the time, he would have no teachings for us, no purpose for us, we would know it all before hand. He has plans, structure, and we learn a lot of this in His word. We learn more about Him.

With all the doubts,
I realize
Unselfishlessly
How God is a Creator,
The Creator
How I am a creator, thanks to Him,
How if I care about each creation that I work on, to make it as perfect and good quality as I can get it to be,
What makes me think God doesnt care about all of His creation?
To form it into the best he can!
To appreciate and love his creation fully always and give Him the credit.

the same things
the same poem themes
the same old smelly garbage
the same days that go by
the same mornings
the same feelings
the same complaining
the same worry
the same hopelessness
the same
the same me

Can a natural non-suffering & non-painful experience take me by surprise?
So I have no eyes to see...
No lungs to breathe..
No one to be..
I am scared of death you see...
but there is no place..here for me.

And i don't know,
when push comes to shove,
where i will go?
i'm always wondering,
continuously pondering,
rapidly searching,
non-stop trying,
to keep on going,
knowing,
growing,
pushing myself,
to keep shoving,
until i get to that point,
where i will be known..
knowledge can manifest in my life