take me to the ocean that's where i want to die
thats where you sat and held me every time i cry
but now my tears are because of you
so it's the only thing i want to do
you're my anchor so release me
and watch me drown at sea
i can see you're done trying
which means i should be done crying
but these tears will never end
into the depths i'll descend
my insides are already sinking
caused by too much deep thinking
so please let me drown in the sea
don't pretend that you'd miss me

death is never early.  take the first bite of every meal in front of a mirror.  chase the kid while pulling a plastic bag over your head.  invent a sibling schoolmates blind.  know poverty, know moon.  shampoo the elderly from a distance.  baby no one.  they have looked like hell since before you were born.

sad prom music** (i)

the boy is wearing heels because he doesn’t live with his mother.  his right ankle pops and he breaks his nose on a puddle of evil.  a machine with a baseball in it shudders.  we throw cigarette butts at a girl jumping rope.  the boy stops what his eyes continue.


sad prom music (ii)

movie on with no one in it.  you scratch your son’s arm.  he is made of train sounds you make yourself.  the movie is terrible but is surely just as terrible far away.  you are not waiting to hear anything god hasn’t said better to doctors young and old.  you’re not drunk but your eyes are.  a nightlight in every outlet.

I locked myself out of the apartment,
so I find myself sitting in the stairwell.
The same place you left me days ago.
Weeks ago.
Months ago.
The air is a little warmer but it still bites
wintry and frigid like your teeth on my neck
when you were biting back the screams I made you
scream.