I’m not the same girl
I used to be.
Then again, maybe I am
the same,
and it’s everyone
and everything else
that’s different.
Maybe I’m just not adapting
to the changes in my environment.
Maybe I’m still the
idealistic twelve year old
who read romance novels
and ate ice cream while watching Titanic.
Maybe I’m still the
anorexic fourteen year old
who smiled when the number on the scale dropped
and cried when it didn’t.
Maybe I’m still the
ambitious sixteen year old,
striving to put her life back together
and get laid before prom.
(Without much success, of course.)
Maybe I’m still the
infatuated seventeen year old
who fell madly in love with a geeky college boy,
only to get her heart broken.
Maybe I’m just
an eighteen year old basket case
who drinks too much
and smokes too much
and ***** random boys (and girls)
with all the lights off
because she hates her body just as much when she’s drunk
as she does when she’s sober.
Maybe I have changed.
Maybe I never will.
Maybe in the end,
however soon or far off that may be,
I’ll look back and laugh
at my complete and utter stupidity
and inability
to stop thinking and just start
living.
Maybe I’m already dead inside
and just waiting for my body to follow.

I don't intend to leave you all behind,
but I’m beginning to think I already have.

I know what I see in you.
pain, frustration, regret,
for people who
care about you.
I know you see.
I know you hear.
I know your hate.
I know your love.
I know your tragic story.
I know your in pain,
so just let it all go.
When your in pain,
think about the
good times.
Think about when
people cherished you.
Think about your
family and how
they love you.
Think about how
worried your parents
get when they
can't find you.
BUT, remember this.
Everyone cares about
you and what
your feelings are.
But, you have
to be the
one who let's
us know that.
Open your heart
of hate and pain.
Then you will
really see when
people love and
care for you.
-Sign LINK THE HERO OF TIME-