When she was 5
She drew a picture with the colors of the rainbow
It made everyone happy
Her teacher gave her a "star"
Her parents gave her a kiss
And tucked her in, warm and snug
Dreaming of fairies and princesses

When she was 15
She took a picture where everything was black and blue
It made everyone uncomfortable
Her teacher took her to the counselor
Her parents gave her punishment
She tucked herself in bed, with bruises and welts
And waited for the horrible nightmares to begin

When she was 25
She painted a scene where everything was gray and bleak
She didn't show it to anyone
But continued to see the counselor
Her boyfriend continued to beat her
She passed out in the living room, knocked out cold
With no dreams, nor nightmares to spare

Now she's 35
She wrote some words in red
Hoping for someone to finally see
She didn't visit the counselor, didn't take her medications
Life finally beat out all the fight in her
She saw herself covered in a sea of crimson
Warm fluid running down her wrists
Her vision began to blur
As she welcomes this final sleep

I’ve lied to everyone I know,
I’ve kept it all inside,
My damage doesn’t even show,
It became easier and easier to hide

You were different
You accepted me from the start
I couldn’t hide anything from you
No matter how hard I tried

You loved me when I am mad
You loved me when I am sad
You loved me when I cried
You loved me when I lost my mind

I know you love me with all of your heart
But I am sorry, I am so sorry
To have to lie to you now
And tell you that I don’t love you back

This paper is clean and pure
Just like your heart
My ink is dark and heavy
Just like my soul

Once splintered, cracks remain
No matter how you mend it
I refuse to mar your beautiful spirit
Make you bear the stain of my love

I love you too much for this.

If only I knew how it would end
If only I was certain of how you felt
If only you believed what I said
And if only when I tried to fix things, they became better

If I knew how to show my feelings
If I knew how to make you believe
If I knew how to make you happy
And if I knew how to make you feel loved

If letting you know how I felt didn't cause me to be numb
If making you believe didn't make me a liar
If making you happy didn't leave me sad
And if making you feel loved didn't make me alone

Things would have never reached this point
No one would ever blame you for not caring
No one would blame me for not thinking
Maybe you and I would be better than this

Since I could remember
My heart has balanced
Along such a thin line
Of right and wrong
Love and hate.
The line already stretched
To the extremes.
Taught with fear and uncertainty.

Tension reached its maximum
When that day came 'round.
Ever since that day
When I learned the truth.
The day my eyes were forcefully
Peeled open by dull razors.
That day the line faded
And the tight rope snapped.

With no line to follow
My heart fell.
Now concussed,
Delirious and confused.
My heart wanders between worlds.
Never certain of who it is
Where it was or
How it should be.

-Kevin Robert Rose

Jealousy was the world's first fantasy.
To see her eyes look at him
in the way only she can...
and he's not even trying for it.
You can give your all in vain, selfishness, bitterness,
You can toast at their wedding...
Excuse me...