At the mention of DNA test
Some softwares trip
Cool child runs within them
None is ever sure of a firing
Afterall, sharp shooters still miss fire
If you aren't afraid of scans
To determine our child's sexuality
What is the ruse about DNA test?

Not all women are infidels
There are evil practitioners
Intentionally they swap babies
Like guys swap girlfriends
What makes you so sure
That you are your father's  child
This table is not only shaking
I hope to break the legs

When my ***** travels through the epididymis
Direct into the vas deferens
From the seminiferous tubules
Am I even sure it is *****?
It could be mere "Ogi"
How do you impregnate a software?
While you are plagued with erectile dysfunction?
Ladies beware, impotent men abound

Wait, don't go nowhere
"I never finish with you"
When your arteries are plagued
You can never "Do The Do"
It is called atherosclerosis
*** is intended for pleasure
And for procreation my friend
Don't be called Daddy by another's child
Let us all seek full medical check up

When married women slay
They turn real side chicks
Especially the married but single
Even Solomon in his prime
Cannot match their ******
They drive in their cars
And just flash you twice
If you can decipher the code
"You go just dey clean the playhead"
While real Oga hussles for the family

No time to check time
One month after birth
Conduct proper DNA test
Let us settle this thing once
But be sure of your generator of generations
That it is working in full capacity
To avoid stories that touches the heart
Don't say i didn't warn you

That goodbye *** with your ex
The night vigils with loud loans
With "Ekwueme" at the background
The client you shagged for the cheque
The MD you seduced for that account
The "thing" might have entered
Don't give it to another man
It is pure evil
A day of reckoning looms

Terrible days are here
The devil was once a saint
If you already said "Yes"
Please honour your vows
Infidelity is now a norm
Moral decadence on both sides
Married women are now real side babes
Behind that beauty may be a Delilah

If you ever discover the smoke screen
Please be magnanimous...
Your escapades with your colleagues
Your secretaries and personal assistants
Your time-out with church and mosque workers
Your sins might have visited
This time, though your wife
Whatever you sow, you reap
Karma is very real

With the rapid wave of technology
DNA will soon be like BVN
Just like the XYZ test in government hospitals
It will be made compulsory
And help us demystify this mystery
But if you are very sure
That your father is your father
Am I really sure?
That my child is child?
DNA Test, are you sure you are the Daddy?

I need to confess my sins
That all my prayers be answered
With a fitting open cleave front
Hair covered with agenda
The opening separated me from him
He is every woman's want
My prayer just got answered
Even before confession started

Who is she?
He ruminated on this for weeks?
Until my phone rang
With a request to prepare soup
I made my best banga soup
Right in his kitchen
I raised up my legs
On his kneels, I went to heaven

No mortal ever touched me like that
The words came slowly
"Touch your toe", he said
Then he played the opera
It was "waoh", I went wild
Right then and then
I vowed, "May this never end"

If this be a sin
We will go to hell fire together
The way he touched my *******
I wondered where he got experience
He is supposed to be celibate
I looked straight in his eyes
Have you ever done this?
"I watch adults he said"

He turned me over
Legs raised like a pole vault
The sunset in between his legs
For a moment I lost my sanity
Slowly I muttered, "Marry me"
This is sacrilege I know
But may this never end
My Priest got great stunts

Never have I felt so young
Nor been to heaven and back
My young lovers could not match his dexterity
He pounded me like a Lion
Seeing him makes me wet
I had to change my place of worship
But it was a fairy tale...

We desecrated the altar
Abused the holy annointing
For moments of pleasure evermore
Each time I see him
Adorned in his ecclesiastic robe
I see a **** star, my love
If only he will abandon the call
But he said "No", because Mama said so
True love is just not fair
Why did I fall in love with a Priest

The worse happened
I got really served
Who gets pregnant for a Priest?
When he moved to sin city
He realised he wanted a legacy
He wanted the child
A product of our sacrilege
Against his will, I flushed it
Our child was gone
I lost him forever
Only then did I truly realise
"Anamachikwanu" is not a love song

Why call me African Giant
When my people live below poverty level
Less than two dollars a day
I cry for my country Nigeria
A people suffering and smiling
A land plenty in poverty

If we top Africa's oil production
Shouldn't our social security be world class?
Shouldn't our senior citizens be tended with class
Why the massive exodus abroad?
Brain drain and capital flight
Increase in crime wave
I cry for my nation

How can a man marry a wife
And another rapes her with impunity
Collects all the goodness deposited in her
Who should be the first partaker of the fruit?
Tell me, a stranger or the groom?
Who cursed Africa?

Who owns our oil wells?
How many indigenous companies?
Stupidity is killing a bush Rat
Selling it to the refiner cheap
And gathering with your cohorts
Drinking pepper soup with same bush Rat
At an exorbitant price

We lost our middle class
In Africa's supposed largest economy
You are either rich or very poor
This is more like the animal kingdom
Where the winner takes it all
What am I even saying?
Are we not all animals!

Who is talking about gold?
Agriculture and minerals
Who is talking about our human resource?
Schooled with employability mentality
We have to change the narratives
This change begins with you
Stop sitting on the fence

If we keep servicing debts
Supporting lavish lawmakers lifestyles
It won't be long before famine sets in
A re-enactmant of Genesis 41
What happened to infrastructural development?
Human and capacity development
Great nation, indeed!

Where do all our oil money go?
You cannot be a player and referee same time
Who benefits from our collective wealth
Definitely not the Niger Deltans
You should be ashamed as a leader
We chose you, but you failed...

Don't think we are fools
We are only acting the fool
Just to fool you fool
That thinks you are fooling us
A new generation of activists are born
Not with guns and powders
We will fight you with the greatest weapon
A pen, mightier than the sword
With the people on our side

I pay my taxes and abhor capital flight
If you under-report your earnings
Or surreptitiously evade tax
Are you different from them?
Play your part, keep hands clean
Very soon, their sins will visit them
Publicly, they will be put to shame
That Africa may be great

If he sends you roses
Buys you money
Takes you on vacation
If be sings you lullaby
Gets you Romanian hair
Mongolian wig and Egyptian curls
If he says "I love you"
Just say "Yes"

If he takes you shopping
Buys you Hermes & Gucci
Shoes you public display of affection
Takes a bullet for you
If he calls you "Honey"
With lots of money
Just say "Yes"

If your girls hate him
For reasons yet untold
Protect your investment
They have a thing for him
If he gives you unexpectedly
Good with sixty nine
Cuddles like a baby
Husband material in view
Just say "Yes"

If he looks into your eyes
And says "Adore moi"
Helps you change your pads
Knows how to hook and unhook
Discusses his future with you
You just got lucky
Just say "Yes"

If he cleans the house
While you just wish to relax
Allows you wipe your tears
On his new Marks and Spencer
If he makes you laugh
Buys you pantless and beltless suit
Take him to Mama
Just say "Yes"

If he raises a hand on you
And calls it a mistake
Spies on you like a monitoring spirit
Hacks your phone
Sees you as an asset
Other than a partner
If he is egocentric and loud
And not proud to show you off
Run away, "jappaa"
You have been advised

Mfonobong Ituen

Now, you got my attention
My perfect distraction
Private are privates
Lest I become an instant celebrity
On the pages of social media

If you seek beyond
Let's go to yonder place
And just talk the talk
Maybe lace it with actions
But I fear for me
Lest you too say...
"Welcome to fatherhood"
Smiles

Truth is
Time never stops
And it never ends
Life is a continuum
Yes, you got heart broken
But love never ends
You find it in weird places
With beautiful hearts
Strangers turned friends
Friends turned lovers
And then, we start again
Until we get it right
And live happily ever after
Until then, just like time
Never stop finding love
You are closer than you think!

She layed cool from the mute
As beautiful as the river goddess
Her smile still looked beautiful
But she is now a star
Sitting in the galaxy of the greats
She crossed to the other side
Where the grass is greener
And the water purer
As she layed cool from the mute
She smiled like a diva
For the first time since the news broke
I released droplets of tears
Then I smiled...
She knows I love her
But who am I to query the Creator
Who has chosen to take His creation
She got to her final abode
Done and dusted, she bowed
Afterall, legends don't die
They translate
Join me celebrate my icon
The one whose vehicle I rode to earth
From dust to dust she slept
Yet, so beautiful
Adieu Mama!