not yet, but soon
the rain will come.

like an elephant
down the mountain,
you will hear her first
then you will witness
her true strength.

Picked up a little spark
out the corner of my shut eyelid.

Such a weird emission in this charcoal dark.
It began a faint glow.
Slightly brighter than the black
above, beside and below.
Then the glow became a hum
of violet and gradually grew
into a blue.

That color, so serene,
became a green  and its vibrations
were quite intense. Just like in the earth
out of the green, with a little help from it's blue fellow,
sprouted a most glorious shade of yellow!

I became intoxicated by this colorful spectrum,
drinking deeply of each color as if on some
florescent binge. When I had my my fill of this bouquet
out sprouted the orange and red.

They all danced in a kaleidoscopic
shuffle, shifting about like lovers
in a masquerade ball.
They would collide and waltz
twirl about each other with excellent grace
and then, in search of their original partner,
separate. Once the couples were reunited,
they took flight from my eyelids and slowly
but surely, in a most marvelous display,
everything returned to black as the colors faded away.

but the final problem was this:
I never was who I wanted to be.
no matter how much I changed,
no matter who I newly became,
I was not satisfied with myself

I peeled back my identities,
let go of my vanities, and
tore off my imperfections
and never once found who
I was looking for

and the final question became:
was he even in there? could I
exist as I wanted to? was I not
searching hard enough, or was
there nothing to be found at all?

the answer, truly, did not matter.
both were equally terrifying. for,
on one hand, I was pathetic, and,
on the other, I was simply worthless.

what does one do now? this,
finally, was my dilemma.