you always tell me that
life is long but I'm not
sure it's long enough
for us to find our way
back to each other.

snakes get a new skin
every one
two
three months

we get one every
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven years

in five year's time
i'll have a skin
you never
touched

and i'll still probably
be conflicted
on how i feel
about that.

i regret keeping my eyes closed
every time you kissed me
and i regret falling asleep first
in your bedroom
i regret looking out the window
while you were driving
and i regret skipping songs
on your mixed tape
i regret the time i spent
tracing any line that
wasn't on your body
i regret every time
i laid my head on a pillow
when your chest was available
*but most of all
i regret the time it took
for me to learn that
even the things that
make you feel infinite
can't possibly last forever

1)
i finally read that book you recommended. i heard your voice in every line
2)
i left the fossett running last night to cut the silence
3)
i still smell your shampoo on my pillow cases
4)
what's the name of that song we discovered on the radio two nights before you left? i need it right now
5)
acceptance is the act of investing in a space heater to keep me warm at night, when i know your legs could do the trick for free
6)
i saw your little cousin in target last week. i never realized how precisely your smiles match
7)
i left the cd you made me, in its case on the floor of my backseat. nick stepped on it and i felt an earth shattering emptiness, like someone died before i had the chance to say goodbye
8)
actually this all kind of feels like someone died before i had the chance to say goodbye
9)
tonight i caught up with some of your friends at starbucks & only thought of you once. does that mean i'm getting better?
10)
missing you occupies so much of my mind that i forget how to sleep most nights

I wish I could break
Shatter into a million pieces
Of sharded glass, waiting to be stepped on.
Causing you to bleed wouldn't hurt me
Because I would already be broken.

This universe doesn't give a ****
Whether we're moving
Or camping out on life's sidelines.
The doers, in the end
Meet the same fate as the dreamers.

I want you to break me.
Work me until I fall apart
Until I can't take it anymore.
At least then
I will overdose on my need for perfection
Before I die of it.
You can take my needle from me
Before my heart stops beating.
Before it turns my blue vein black.

Then maybe I can stop craving
Everything that hopes to **** me off.

you've been on my mind a lot recently

polluting my thoughts
contaminating my very being
with idle inklings
and constrained affections

making everyday tasks
near impossible

I'm going insane,
but I love it.