I never really liked my name
until I heard you say it
with genuine & care
the way it flows through your mouth
leaves me breathless

You speak it like it's your own language
a code only you can decipher
like an inside joke just for you
the way you whisper it in my ears
filled with love & certainty

The way you pronounce it
every syllable like a music to my soul
the way you caress it
to convey conversations
makes my heart skip a beat

Whenever you mumble my name
I know only good things
comes out of it
for you want to
leave a mark, which is a smile on my face

You once said that if you could
you would make a poem
a song, a rap out of it
to show your appreciation & affection
of the wonder of my name

You used to express it
with lots of pride & integrity
you'd yell it out loud
until your out of breath
to tell others how my name
is so beautiful
that deserves to make a big deal out of itself

Until now I never really liked my name
because it reminds me you used to worship it
with loads of care & sincerity
now it just makes me feel broken
for I'll always remember
how you spoke my name
with your low husky soothing voice
that will always leave me breathless

why do we always remember the lips
the glimpse upward, the sigh, the gap
between their teeth? Never the whole
face, the angular pinky in the porch-light
the coarse hairs on a neck, the sight of a
jaw in motion, concave cushion when he
talks, never the whole body,
a single word, a single sound, a small
intonation, a rumble that stays, stays



stays.

who I want to be is
trapped beneath my
skin, stretching
stretching,
tearing at my
seams.
she cries, "let him go
and the wound will
set me free. oh, god,
please."