I've never been to me
What I've always been to you
I wish I could see the beauty
you see
I wish I had the strength
That you think I do
I once had - the love of your heart
The strength in my soul,
The vision in my mind.
Now I stare in the mirror,
Knowing I can never add up to these expectations - anymore.
The love in your heart,
Sees more then I can give,
More then I am worth.
What I have always been to you
I can never be to me.

The script is never finished
This rewritten bogle of the once poetic mind
Is now just a lonely road
to non sensual loving words
Leading to a heart,  with nothing to show except for its deadening one way street for the broken and untrusting.
This world burns of fire, as it freezes our soul.
Stopping life in its tracks
Painting some abstract strokes
Of a now still life.
Of a life that was, once known
This battered city of the hopeful hearted has devoured every dream
And blackened all its goals
Leading the newly blind
To steal and collect there souls
Rewritten words,
claimed as new thoughts
Piles of guilt
Innocence now lost
Rewritten is this script
Taking from all its originality
Claimed by others as knowing
Known by me
As never learnt.

It was time for my usual nightly visit to zepes for my smokes and whisky.
It was a night same as the others,
Dark, cool, and smelled of the city's sewage.
I finally get to fourth and vine, walk into Zepes and get my nightly robbing 7.25 for a pack of sticks! I ***** about it to Joe, he humors me every night, knowing the rapping still won't stop me from coming back tomorrow.
Half way home I realized,  I forgot my fith.
Lucky for me Franks place was right across the smog filled dump, I call my street.
I go in and empty out my pockets.
Throwing all my change and some bills on the counter.  "Johnny walker" I said, guess he'll be my companion on this night of oblivion.
About 8 or 10 drinks later, some ****** comes up and sits next to me.
What do you want? I said. She answered "a drink." I slid her mine, and ordered a fresh one for myself.
"You get many women, with that fantastic personality of yours?"
I replied "I hate women!"
"Why you talking to me then?" She asked.
I still want to ****, I'm not gay.
Slid my drink at her, "here!" I want a fresh one.
The night was foggy and so were my thoughts, but I remember asking her to come back to my place to ****.
It was wild, we broke everything I own and ****** like beasts all night.
I woke up looking at the ceiling "what the!" My hands still cuffed to my bed posts from the night before.
"****!" You still here? I need out these **** cuffs!
Then the bathroom door opens,  she came walking out, reaching into my pants that were on the floor.  She opened my wallet and took my last five.
"You still hate women?"
More then ever, I said.
"Good I would have hated to disappoint you."
She opened my cell, dialed 911 set the key to the cuffs on my chest
And left.
This is 911 whats your emergency?
I'm handcuffed to my bed and need to ***, please come get me!
Man I hate women!

A roses desire with a street cars name.
It doesn't matter the direction
Cause we're all the same.
Knock three times, to get inside.
Darlings of the night  and shady cabbies are your ride.
A streetwise junkies philosophy  sounds good while your high.
Wisdom of truth, while smoked in a lie.
Sometimes coming down isn't the hardest part.
Sometimes it's reaching  the end,  for another start.

Little things like understanding.
once added together, can build a strength we never knew of.
Listening, before speaking.
Speaking in lyric of fact, not opinion.
All lead to a understanding.
A understanding of yourself, learning to accept truth and facts.
Learning it is o.k. to not always be right.
Learning it is o.k. to listen, absorb and give benifits of doubt, when necessary .
Let go of the angered pain,
Let go of the ego, of having to be right.
Understand, we all have the right to an open ear, from the open mind.
Theres a thought,
that enters my open mind.
Stoping the hate,
That fills my worlds time
Enter-
happiness
Stop-
in time
Understanding,
yours and mine.
Stop,
the time.
In a still second pace.
Holding time, briefly
To see, it's beautiful face.

To this thought,
That has entered my mind.
That gave me clarity,
For a still second of time.
I thank you,
my soul,
For allowing me to see,
A more loving world,
Where we all
can be.

Time does not stand still,
I know.
If it could,
this is it's second, I would choose.

My wish for this same second-
To freeze in time.
For each, and every soul
To smile, in harmony.

For everbody to feel
The warmth from happiness.
For everyone to see.
If we all work together,
A smile for one second,
We-
Can radiate a new born love.
For ourselves and each other.
All unite as one,
Where-
All are sister's and brother's.

My soul use to be open
But now is closed.
Like some detour, on a dirt road
You'll never know
Where these thoughts, could go.

Once open, like an all night diner
Was where you could find my mind
But now, the light is out
And closed,  is the sign.

Once this soul had glistened
With trust
Shimmered all it's thoughts
Like gold
Now it is shriveled and dry
Not worth a cent
With thoughts too old.

A day late, a dollar short
Once people were proud of me
Now they just set me on fire
To light their stogie.

This old soul, use to be good
Like this old bottle of gin
Now they're both empty and useless
You got what you wanted
Now go buy some fascist label to replace us
We know our place,
Upon the dusty shelve
Next to the roses, you bought last year
Wilted, dry and deteriorating
From lack of interest.

Sacred be thy name
Unharmed, untouchable, unseen
Protected by God
Respected by all
Sacred be thy name

Once wishing for peace,
Now, living peace
Eternal -definition of peace
Sacred be thy name

Living in damnnation
To create a new nation
To give a once blinded society
A gift, to see the world
With true sight.
Sacred be thy name

Not holy, not war
Nothing to fight for
-anymore
No more harm
Respect all as beings
Give us all a chance to be heard
once we are able to see
Sacred be thy name

Sacred be our name
All as one, for one honor
of each other, for each other
For our mothers,  for our fathers
Sacred be our name