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A rose is not a rose until a woman picks it and places it next to her heart....
A song is not a song until a lover sings it to the earth and heaven.
A woman is not a woman until a man
finds her and makes her worth-loving.

You're the song that echoes in my heart.
You're the sound that beats in my body every day and night.
You're the light that shines inside my darkest dreams.
You're the colours of my energy.
You're the last chapter of a book i will be reading before i die.
You're the face i see whenever i close my eyes.
You're my shadow...

Everytime you move you take the beauty of this world with you.
You walk through the hallway of my heart and fill the empty spaces.
My love for you is a perfume i pour at your feet.
Unto heaven and earth i am made a poem
Read and sung i will remain for good

i am love-drunk for you
You are the vineyard of my youth
More i drink,more i feel
How this beauty you gives out i seek
I woke up.
It was spring.
You were there smiling at me among the blooming flowers.
Your green eyes looked radiant as you moved beautifully towards me.

I walked along the river.
It was summer.
You were there smiling at me.
I could see our reflections in the water.
I could see my face sparkling in your eyes.

It was cold.
Leaves were falling.
It was autumn.
You were there smiling at me among the blackening trees that were flapping in the cold breeze.
My hands were cold but you had them in yours.

It was all white and frozen.
I woke up.
I saw you there padding along the frozen river.
I smiled at you.
And you smiled back at me for the last time.
Pa i miss you everyday...
It was years ago...
The day you had to go...
And i have been waiting still for years...
For you to come near...

Years pass by...
Another year has gone by...
Will i still have to try...
Will my tears ever run dry...
Mr. Willie Senior i will always miss you. May you rest in peace...
The night you were in me i felt so alive...
The next morning i woke up to find myself in a different world...

I saw like you...
I breathed like you...
Smelt like you...
Thought like you...
Smelt like you...

*I can still smell your scent on me...

My Boyhood Friend

We were playing hide and seek.
It was one fair summer day.
I called out his name.
And then i found him.
Hidden in the bush, smiling back at me so happily.
I found you, i said.
You found me, he said.

Yesterday i received the news that he had passed away.
I was so devastated.

Away...away he's gone...
Out of my sight...
He's so young...
So young...
Maybe he is only hiding again...
Just like that one summer day in the bushes...
Only i will never find him this time...
My Father built the house with his own hands.
He loved all kinds of weather or season.
He built it to span the gap between his heart and ours.
He spent too much time fighting his country's enemies.
He was raised by a man with a heart as cold as rain in autumn.
He used to be a beautiful man who walked by the river every morning with his passion for life.
But time has cut some marks on his very skin.

My Father painted the house with his own hands.
He loved all kinds of colour.
He painted the house white to show his true feelings for us.
Many's the time he ran down the road.
Seeking for his own truth of life
With his cold breath he showed me the true meaning of becoming a man.

One frozen night,it was late. I couldn't sleep.
I looked through the window.
There was my Father.
Standing under a Willow tree...naked and cold.
He was staring into the vagueness of the night. Afraid,maybe.
In his nakedness he looked so perfect.
His sun-burnt skin emitting weak lights of his childhood memory.
Wrong or forbidden,his naked body was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen.
A naked body of a man whose heart could bear and hide his secret feelings for years.
My body was shivering with curiousity and adoration.

My Father...
I wish i had been the wind that you're standing against.
I wish i had been the cold rain that covered you unmercifully
I wish i had been the ground that you're standing on.
I wish i could have understood why and when...
I wish i could have known you a lot better
I wish i had read your heart as you had read mine.
You wandered alone in the rain.
I called out to you in vain.
I held the cold air alone in pain.
On your cold empty bed i had lain.

I saw you today when i looked into the mirror.
You were my handsome rover.

I felt your heart beat when i put my hand on my chest.
In everlasting greens forever you will rest.

I sense your presence whenever i walk myself to your hills.
As the world emits your spirit i know i feel.
Your green eyes dwell on the banks where the country lovers climb to pick flowers.
Your song echoes forever in the hearts of lonely rovers.

I miss that long road down the hill to the sea.
There you swaggered the morning away for me to see.
So dreamy and radiant like a precious gem.
To those trees by the water that bloomed as you sang to them.

My Father...
My Rover...
My Saviour...
I am staring at the moon.
Like i am going to touch it very soon.
This ancient silver light has been shining on us for ages.
Reflected on our faces.

O Mystic Moon come take me away.
Let me merge with your light.
Let me extract your ancient rays.
Never fall out of my sight.
When a stranger dies in another town they will bury him just like every other stranger.
No prayers...

When a stranger dies in another town nobody will say good things about him at his own funeral he's all alone.
He's on his own...

No poems read in his honour.
No flowers put down to cheer up the gravestone's gloomy colour.
No tears out to pour.
They just want to help a stranger so poor.
Just another little favour.
I am not used to being without you.
I am not used to not hearing your voice.
I am not used to letting you go.
I am not used to sleeping by myself.
I am not used to living without your passionate touch.
I am not used to being alone.
Given secrets,stolen moments
Collapsed,the walls of time
A vow made and so the story began
'The Great Hands forming the ancient colours of the world'. It was time.

One fallen,one forced to dwell,one obliged to serve, for good
Remains cursed,remains bound over emotion,remains divine

Blood and desire hunters hovering around
Lovers in sacred bed knitting their dreams
Shining lights fulfilling holy promises

Dark as starless nights,blasphemous,the fallen one
Passionate,so delicate,trembling with unbearable desires,the promised one.
Timeless,eternal messengers,the heavenly one.

Once cast out,the fall remains untouched.
Twice spread out,the seeking goes to the ends of the world.
Three times invoked,the holy service is eternal.
May God protect ye on thy path.
And all yer days, everything ye have.
Lands of yore, shores of hope, shining on thee.
What evil has be done shall perish, evaporating as morning dew.

As retreat'd yer sweet songs scatter o'er the land.
Heard by lonely rovers swaggering on hills o' man.
Caught by the wind, floating away to the shores.
Where a distant light twinkling before longing lovers.

Ye shall not be redeemed.
In life, nor in dream.
Ay heart o' yers was torn in tatters.
Ye lingered among the silhouettes of the trees.

'Tis a long lonely road ye walk.
Thru' seasons that stalk.
With evergreen trees marching by the river.
As ye watched yer lover walking away in shivers.

O God come and catch our every tear.
For Thou art the hand that built our lands.
Our hearts melting as we climb Thy banks to get nearer.
With angels and saints lamenting lost souls on Thy shores.
A
symbol
of our love
For you and me
to remember always
Till the day
we both die and fade away
I offer what money can not buy
My only devoted and everlasting heart
I'll stand by you
No matter what is probably coming our way.
I will always love you till my heart stops beating.
I wanna grow old with you and die in your arms because i
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
You
A
symbol
of our love
For you and me
to remember always
Till the day
we both die and fade away
I offer what money can not buy
My only devoted and everlasting heart
I'll stand by you
No matter what is probably coming our way.
I will always love you till my heart stops beating.
I wanna grow old with you and die in your arms because i
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
Love
You
Merry Xmas to you all... God bless us everyone...
Perfectly touched, intimacy here in this very room you could never wait to rush into, lit only by candles, wrapped up in our winter blanket.
Several glasses of wine to go, and story after story by midnight.
Touch after touch...
Never laughed without thoughts of tomorrow...
I could never lit my cigarettes without flashes of the fire in your eyes burning our nights away...
It's your perfume merging with the scent of the pine walls that always brought me here...
Bed and sheet you could always fall into...

I felt safe here with my fingers running through your hair...
Through the homesickness on your face...
Mere as it was yet deeply comforting...
The only thing that lingered on without your presence...
You were the only man i had always wanted to see
Walking down the road to the sea
Swaggering in your new jacket
Looking for fellas to bracket

In Carrickfergus they called you a robber
To me you were a handsome rover
Beautiful green eyes as the rolling hills
Your happy thoughts into me you had instilled

In Belfast you smuggled your hopes and fears
Slainté! You danced pints of beer away
Alas! They did not see your tears
You were on your own finding your way

My old friend, my sad handsome friend Patrick...
Alone you sang your weary songs and turned sick
I cried bitterly, nobody to lay you down
Summer,and you had no wheat to sow

Ah! You were so handsome and young
During summer days you smiled and cheered me up in my den
Calling out your name,i screamt at the top of my lungs.
You were gone....gone...you would never answer again
http://pixdaus.com/pics/1210808308tagqj8T.jpg
You were the only man i had always wanted to see
Walking down the road to the sea
Swaggering in your new jacket
Looking for fellas to bracket

In Carrickfergus they called you a robber
To me you were a handsome rover
Beautiful green eyes as the rolling hills
Your happy thoughts into me you had instilled

In Belfast you smuggled your hopes and fears
Slainté! You danced pints of beer away
Alas! They did not see your tears
You were on your own finding your way

My old friend, my sad handsome friend Patrick...
Alone you sang your weary songs and turned sick
I cried bitterly, nobody to lay you down
Summer,and you had no wheat to sow

Ah! You were so handsome and young
During summer days you smiled and cheered me up in my den
Calling out your name,i screamt at the top of my lungs.
You were gone....gone...you would never answer again
You were the only man i had always wanted to see
Walking down the road to the sea Swaggering in your new jacket
Looking for fellas to bracket

In Carrickfergus they called you a robber To me you were a handsome rover Beautiful green eyes as the rolling hills Your happy thoughts into me you had instilled

In Belfast you smuggled your hopes and fears
Slainté! You danced pints of beer away Alas! They did not see your tears
You were on your own finding your way

My old friend, my sad handsome friend Patrick...
Alone you sang your weary songs and turned sick
I cried bitterly, nobody to lay you down Summer,and you had no wheat to sow

Ah! You were so handsome and young During summer days you smiled and cheered me up in my den
Calling out your name,i screamt at the top of my lungs.
You were gone....gone...you would never answer again
To the man who taught me to see the beauty of a willow tree by the water
I'm singing for you....
Singing for you...
Only for you....
For you...

Your rhythm so perfect and wild...
I watch you walk from a far...
On this happy spring day so mild...
From your heart  me you do not bar.

Tonight i am leaving my door ajar.
So you know that i am letting you in.
Not only in my house but also in my heart.
So right into you i am falling

We are having perfume rain.
A thousand scents of love we do not feign.
I want your sweet wine kisses on me.
As we lay down and you touch me

Fill me up, fill me in...
Lift me up, let me in...
Our hands flap, dancing  to the music within.

I am singing for you...
Singing for you...
Only for you...
For you...

Perfume rain, perfume rain, come down on me...
In your cupped hands you hold my heart.
Perfume my heart with your love...
If
heaven
and hell...
never existed...

Would we still
believe in
God ?
You looked me deep in the eye
I knew what you wanted to say.
It was not the music merging with my body.
As i laid me down on the floor before everybody.

You touched my feet and i trembled, my heart chimed.
Felt like the very first time
The music was going faster and ******.
As you played my every string so fantastic.

The lights had gone out, it was dark as could be.
I could not see you but i could feel you.

The floor was cold but my hands were even colder...
When you put your hands on me, pressing your body against me tighter...
You kissed me, and i could feel the sweetness of the wine you had just sipped...
My hands dancing through your hair, as your scent dripped...

Suddenly you turned around and walked away...
Leaving me dancing alone like a stray...

Not tonight...
Not tonight...

*Not tonight...
Wine and cigarettes all i have in vain
But nothing comes close to ease my pain
Winter has frozen my pale fingers
As i walk and linger
My father's last words flew through my heart
As he touched my face and i cried to never part
The wood floor creaked as i walked
The walls shattered as i talked
He said the old house is alive
I knew it when it was so quiet at night
Whenever i said my flat prayers to Christ

I did not come back for melancholy of my boyhood friends
As memories have always been in the right places to suspend
Like cold brief kisses shared before goodbyes
Struggling for never ending happines to come by

Autumn came when i was still deep in slumber
Tucked up innocent in his warm chamber
Whenever i opened my eyes again he was there
Watching out the window, looking so fair

There were nights when the ferry docked
And those distinct shapes in the mist outside i could not make out
There he went away
Ferried over so far away
As i did to him likewise now
Roja... Roja...

I watch her padding along The Sacred Ganges, so dreamy.
Looking all radiant in her red sari, satisfying my heart so weary.
For The Gods have embodied their most beautiful chant into you.
Like a bell that chimes in a distant soothing the night prayers so true.

Oh Roja....

You are the most sacred chant i have ever heard.
The most beautiful song i have ever sung.

For your heart is like a temple and i am a pilgrim in searching for peace and enlightment.
I am taking shelter from rain and sun in your enjoyment.

Roja... Roja...

I want to play my sitar and dance my songs away.
My songs would seep under your sari as i touch your skin in such a way.

My fingers would dance along the river of your shiny hair so deep.
Like a gentle summer breeze swirling through the leaves of a tree.

Roja... Roja...

My heart will dwell in your temple forever.
I will pour my songs at your feet and my journey i sever.
Run me to the ocean...
The only place i see the world in motion...
As the sky merges with the sea overcoming my emotion...

Run me to the ends of the earth...
Where life means nothing but a dearth...
Where death means nothing but a mirth...

Run me to His Holy Mountain...
I need to find The Fountain...
Of emotion, sense, and answers...
We're running together side by side....

Right next to me the rain has clouded up your silhouette
I can barely see you
Your hair dancing in the wind
And suddenly i realize you're not there by my side anymore.
You cannot catch up with me.
I cannot see you....

.......I am running too fast that I CANNOT CATCH UP WITH YOU....
many's the time we realized we needed someone so much when it's already too late....
The smell of the northern seas.
The song of the trees we feel.
Stars clutch at your feet.
Vague trance is where we meet.

Scandinavian skies, under the moon silky silver.
Into the blue we dance deeper.
Horizon lights gleam before my eyes.
Raging seas cold as ice.

Take hold of my drawing hand.
Weakly i ****** into the sand.
On the shore where waves crash.
Whom we made a rush.

Scandinavian skies set me free.
Scandinavian skies i lean on like a tree.
Silky crimson wrung through and preserved.
You write me a single sacred verse.
You are my shadow...
I can only see you in the dark...
Come, sing me a song before the rain comes down.
Before night falls and covers us with its black silk blanket.
For my heart can not linger before dawn.
Tonight i have stars to bracket.

Sing me goodnight and goodbye.
For this is the last time you are in sight.
Our days together have come to an end.
So sad my heart as i know it, bends.

Beautiful a song sung unto heaven.
Before God, angels, and saints.
Alas! Am i to sing my laments?
Bitterly i sought for enjoyment.

Our song, about the hills and trees before time.
When the bells of a thousand churches chimed.
When i filled your empty heart with passion for life.
When we touched so right

''Sing me goodnight....
      Touch me so right...    
           Hold me so tight....
               You are my light...
Burn it down...
Rebuild it with passion at dawn...
Find me when i am least expected...
Hold me when i am least defended...

For what i feel is never much sought after.
I have been wandering my own land like a lonely rover.
Seeking for my own truth and long-expected answers.

No body really ever hurts till they bleed.
They turn to themselves to heed.
They cut wounds on their very skins and let the pain in.
As they ignore the voices within.

Sinners are made spectacle unto the world.
For God's heart has turned cold.
No cure when stranded and cast away.
Pain is the only thing to distract you
I was in bed when you came in sight
You lay down and held me tight.
Kissed me as you carressed my hair gently.
And then you sang me goodnight heavenly.

And then you opened your eyes.
And suddenly you went wise.
You saw you had come home to the wrong one.
You got up fast and away i saw you run.

Apparently you realized it was not my turn that night.
I could not sleep though my eyes were closed tight.
I found a dead leaf in my bed today. Cold,half-frozen.
I thought to myself, the wind must have caught it and blew it in.
I walked across the room and closed the window to my surprise.
The sun wasn't ready yet to rise.

It was still dark and cold outside.
The morning rain had covered the world so wild.
Everything looked so dim with the fog hanging in the air so heavy.
I sighed, winter was coming and i wasn't ready.

Those dead blackening trees out there flipping restlessly reminded me of you.
You had been gone for days and i felt so blue.
I knew you would never come back
Those winter days, i kept looking for your tracks
Death is only a part of our short lives
.....only to find me waking up without you by my side....
....only to hope i would skip more light years....
....only to find my existence in a deep trance of an endless continuum....
....only to find myself out of place....
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
This is the song that i love the most by my fav band,Keane. The words are so deep,beautiful,and poetic.
She says follow me
I do like a puppy.
She says stop
I don't.
She says what do you want?
I say you
She says but you have to stop
I say stop me then
She says i can't. You're a man
I say you can. You're a woman.
You walk closer to me so beautiful.
I hold my breath for a while.
I can see your radiant skin through your white transparent dress.
Against your body, mine i press.

The heat has got into my head.
Through you shall i thread.
I breathe your scent into my manhood.
As you cover my body like a silk hood.

Your waves will carry me away into the ocean of passion.
Where lovers are making love so deep.
To stay i have got no reason.
Tonight i do not want to fall asleep.
I could not sleep...

The heat had taken my dreams away
In my bed i lay awake on that damp night of may
With my hands on your chest
Exploring your body like a quest

The smell of your skin merged with mine everytime we made love so tenderly.
Your fragile smile invited me in to your world of a thousand promises.
Naked were we, yet covered with loving defences,
Your hair on my face, extracting love from my very heart perfectly.

You cut my skin and i let you in
We danced to the music within as you breathed me in.
''Had we never touched so gently,
''Had we found somewhere else to be''

I can still remember the smell of our summer bed.
Those days when the rain tore our fears into shreds.
When you were all i had
And with me, along the empty road you came to pad.

Summertime of our lives...
I can not forget the very first time i set eyes on you.
My heart was in a whirl as you mov'd closer to me.
Enchant'd may i have been, yet modest and true.
If i, wanton and impolite as i be, should have a fancy for 'ee,
I could have for my own eyes caused such a great pleasure.
For you were such a fair sight to the modest eyes.
Nay one man's eyes missed 'ee as swaggered.
J'ining the crowds, proud o' yourself med 'ee have been.
I miss those fair days, ol' Marygreen, by the weather spoiled were we.
'Twas i to seek 'ee, my being heart-tender, hurt to hope.
I oughtn't to hope for God's grace as you whisper'd my name,
Yet 'twas only what had troubled me.

My dear Sue, thine anger upon me was wanton.
As swiftly raged at me, unto me being surpris'd.
I love thee, may not i unto God be made
a saint.
Had i determined my course of action.
I could have been tolerable unto thine eyes.
My heart to pledge as of yore, yet torn and misled upon your path.
Alas! Don't 'ee charm-veiled come to conquer my heart as to setting about planning another journey not to be done.
Before God, and angels, though cast into agony,
'twas me unto whom you came when dark.
My Sue.... My dearest Sue....
I can not forget the very first time i set eyes on you.
My heart was in a whirl as you mov'd closer to me.
Enchant'd may i have been, yet modest and true.
If i, wanton and impolite as i be, should have a fancy for 'ee,
I could have for my own eyes caused such a great pleasure.
For you were such a fair sight to the modest eyes.
Nay one man's eyes missed 'ee as swaggered.
J'ining the crowds, proud o' yourself med 'ee have been.
I miss those fair days, ol' Marygreen, by the weather spoiled were we.
'Twas i to seek 'ee, my being heart-tender, hurt to hope.
I oughtn't to hope for God's grace as you whisper'd my name,
Yet 'twas only what had troubled me.

My dear Sue, thine anger upon me was wanton.
As swiftly raged at me, unto me being surpris'd.
I love thee, may not i unto God be made
a saint.
Had i determined my course of action.
I could have been tolerable unto thine eyes.
My heart to pledge as of yore, yet torn and misled upon your path.
Alas! Don't 'ee charm-veiled come to conquer my heart as to setting about planning another journey not to be done.
Before God, and angels, though cast into agony,
'twas me unto whom you came when dark.
My Sue.... My dearest Sue....
I can not forget the very first time i set eyes on you.
My heart was in a whirl as you mov'd closer to me.
Enchant'd may i have been, yet modest and true.
If i, wanton and impolite as i be, should have a fancy for 'ee,
I could have for my own eyes caused such a great pleasure.
For you were such a fair sight to the modest eyes.
Nay one man's eyes missed 'ee as swaggered.
J'ining the crowds, proud o' yourself med 'ee have been.
I miss those fair days, ol' Marygreen, by the weather spoiled were we.
'Twas i to seek 'ee, my being heart-tender, hurt to hope.
I oughtn't to hope for God's grace as you whisper'd my name,
Yet 'twas only what had troubled me.

My dear Sue, thine anger upon me was wanton.
As swiftly raged at me, unto me being surpris'd.
I love thee, may not i unto God be made
a saint.
Had i determined my course of action.
I could have been tolerable unto thine eyes.
My heart to pledge as of yore, yet torn and misled upon your path.
Alas! Don't 'ee charm-veiled come to conquer my heart as to setting about planning another journey not to be done.
Before God, and angels, though cast into agony,
'twas me unto whom you came when dark.
My Sue.... My dearest Sue....
It is there....
Can you not see it?
Since the day you were born...
It has always been there...
Ask it to yourself...
Think it to yourself...

Things only you know...
Places only you know...
Faces only you see...
Fears only you feel...

When you feel most alone

The cavity, the infinite uncertainty
The great possibility.
You see the world through a foggy window.
People walking around in the meadow.

When everything that matters in your life turns into thin air...
I
am
sitting
here alone
on my rooftop.
Watching the city
lights before me....I
hold so tight the empty
air right next to me and i
embody your presence. With
the lights shining on me till morning breaks.
I sat by the frozen river
I could see my pale reflection on the water
Everything in my life seemed to be closing in on me
The wind blew gently,it touched my naked body .

The grey sky up there
The silhouette of the trees
The falling snow....

Then i jumped into the cold frozen water...

Forgotten....
Unforgiven....
It was a cold frozen morning.
The day i had to bury my Father.
As if refusing to answer my calling,
I felt the air, i saw many gloomy colours.

The crows were all around.
I can still hear them squawking in my head until now.
There was a little boy named Andy...
He was only nine years old when he died...
They buried him under a willow tree...
His father was so sad that he went insane...
One night he went to his son's grave...
Dug him out quickly...
And carried him home on his shoulder...

He then made him a dummy...
Turned him into a wooden dummy...
Painted a stiff smile on his dead face...
Put his play outfit on him...
Sat him in his favourite chair...
In the living room...
Put some music on...

He has gone home...
He has gone home...

He sang so loud that he got tired and fell asleep...
In his dream he saw his son dancing...
Bouncing around...
Singing out loud...

When he woke up his dummy son had disappeared...
He was not in sight...
He sought for him all night long but he could not find him...
He did not know...
While he was asleep deep in his agony...
Somebedy broke into his house and stole his dummy son...
Sold it to a russian ventriloquist for a few pennies...

He cried all night long...
He went back to his son's empty grave...
Crying...singing his sad song of loss and loneliness and agony...
When he went back home...
He found his dummy son sitting in his favourite chair...
With two bleeding hearts beating on his lap...
The hearts of the man who took him away....and the russian ventriloquist...

His father blurted out his happiness....
Held his son's cold wooden body tight....
Stroking his grinning dead face gently...
His son sat back still...
He stood still...
He was just a dummy...
Just a wooden dummy...
''I am driving my way home. I am so tired and a bit drunk. It is heavily raining outside. I can barely see and hear what is going on around me. Has the rain flooded the world? Has the wind turned into a massive storm? I turn the radio on and i hear nothing but scratching sounds that iritate my ears.
It's going to be a terrible storm i think.

I glance in my rear-view mirror....
There seems to be a dark silhouette of a man sitting in the backseat....in the dark.
So quietly and mysteriously.
I pull over and stop.
I just keep my eyes firmly planted on the mirror.
I reach out to turn on the light and turn around fast.
And i see him.....
A man......
A faceless man...
i am staring at a ******* gaping hole instead of his face....

I can not move or scream...
My fear has paralyzed me all over...

And then i recognize his dark brown hair.
His blue jumper....
The same jumper i am wearing...

I am looking at myself....
My faceless-self...''

AND THEN I WOKE UP TO FIND MYSELF CRYING IN MY BED LIKE A LITTLE CHILD...
5 years ago my friend, Patrick and his twin brother, Sam, wound up in a terrible accident. Both were heavily drunk and Sam was driving them both home when suddenly the car slid off the slippery road due to rain and crashed hard into a deep ditch. Both were seriously injured. Patrick survived. Sam didn't make it. He died instantly when the car hit the bottom of the ditch. His head was crushed out of shape.

Years pass and still Patrick feels haunted by his guilt. He feels responsible for Sam's terrible death. I remember him saying that he killed HIM that fateful night.

Guilt is like poison. It eats you alive from the inside.
A woman's heart is like an ocean.
It is wide, deep, and wild.
Men sail on it trying to get across to find where the promised land is.
They try to conquer it.
They try to measure its depth.

Some find the land and decide to stay there for good. They build a home and cultivate it.
Some find it, feel satisfied that they have conquered the ocean and go back to sail and conquer another ocean.
Some never find it and get frustrated.
Some confront terrible storms and drown.

And they all sing the same old song....
'' i want to sail the ocean...
Let me sail far away across the ocean...
I miss the sound of the waves beneath my ship...
I miss the smell of the salty waters...
I miss the touch of the wind on my skin...
Let me sail far away....
Away to find the land beneath the stars''
Today i found some footprints.
I followed them to my surprise.
And they led me into a forest.
As it got darker i felt more thrilled.
I was about to find something.

Then i saw you there.
Standing by a river among the silhouette of the trees.
Your hair radiant beneath the sun.
Leaves falling as the trees moved so restlessly.

You turned around and looked into my eyes.

What are you doing?
What have you done?


Why are the trees moving like that?
Their branches are reaching out like tapering black hands.

You walked closer toward me.
Your blue eyes were shining otherworldly.
Leaves were flying around in a swirl of colours.

You pointed your finger at me.
And i could feel something in me changing.
Bright lights coming out of me as i was growing stranger and senseless.
I felt like i was flying round in the heart of the fog.
I looked down and i saw you staring at me.

I could see my reflection in the water.
I could see another soul of the forest.
I could see a tree with its leaves flapping restlessly in the breeze.

You touched my trunk deeply and leant on me.
My leaves moved weakly as i felt your naked skin against my bark.
I felt my roots  threading their way deeper into the earth.

Then suddenly i felt nothing at all.
Nothing but the cold breeze swirling through my leaves.
For i would stand here in the heart of the forest for the rest of my life.
The Sycamore trees... They have their own stories... They have seen much... Heard much... Known much... Witnessed much...

The house was built in 1807 by Reuben McFerguson for his irish wife. McFerguson was a retired scottish  teacher who moved to Ireland to start a new life. They got married in 1805 in Edinburgh. Living a hard life in Edinburgh they decided to move to Kilkenny. There he built her a house which would later be known as The Sycamore. In 1809, three years after the sudden move, their baby boy was born. The only son they ever had. They named him Aindreas Crióstoir McFerguson (anglicized Andrew Christopher Ferguson). Andy grew into a quiet young man. Two weeks after his
21st birthday in 1830, his father died of lung cancer. Despite being so young, he had to take the responsibility for taking a good care of  the house and his mother. Andy was indeed a good looking young man. His being quiet was considered his *** appeal by many. Nobody knew or even had the slightest idea about his troubled soul.
One night he invited a young girl to dine with him. After his mother went to bed, he took the poor girl into the basement and then strangled her to death. He hid the body in one of the barrels of wine. The next two nights he invited two girls again. One girl each night. Killed them in the basement and hid the bodies in the barrels. He killed two more in the attic. His mother lived her days till she died, 7 years after the killings, never knowing about five bodies hidden in the house.
After his mother's death, Andy lived like a ghost. He barely slept and visited his parents' graves regularly three times a week. In 1839, At the age of 30, he married Rachel Moore, whom he met at church (When he met her, he'd been regularly going to church every week to become closer to God). They had two daughters, Marie and Johanna and a son, Jeremy. Each born in 1841,1843,and 1847. Due to The Great Famine, they rented out the house to be used as a temporary mortuary until the famine ended in 1850.
In 1852, being haunted by his crime, and the need (which kept coming back) to **** again, Andy ended his own life by hanging himself in the basement. His wife sold the house and moved to Belfast with her children.
In 1857, Mr.Lowell, the man who bought the house, decided to renovated it. His workers found the bodies of the five women. They also found Andy's old journal and then learnt of how the killings happened. Knowing that Andy's wife had nothing to do with the killings, they didn't bother asking her at all.
In 1884, Andy's son, Jeremy moved back to Kilkenny and bought the house back from Mr.Lowell's son. Another renovation and then (which was already known as 'The house of the dead fairs') 're-occupied', the house was once again owned by a descendant of its first owner.
Jeremy had five children. His oldest son, Matthew inherited the house.
In 1922, Jeremy passed away. Before he died he asked Matthew to take a really good care of the house. Though later Matthew sold the house to an english doctor, his son Reuben bought it back in 1938. Reuben's son, Patrick, from his second marriage, was born in 1950. Armand, another son was born in 1954. At the age of 19 Patrick converted to catholicsm and then became a pastor. Armand moved to Carrickfergus and married a girl he met there in 1980. Armand had three sons. In 1989, three days before christmas, Armand was killed by some unknown men who broke into his house. After his son's death, Reuben moved to his wife's hometown, Edinburgh. Blaming Armand's wife for Armand's death, Reuben never tried to make any kind of contact with her.
In 1990, Reuben and his son's widow reconciled.
He asked her to move back to Kilkenny. In 1994, Emma... Armand's widow.... My mother... Moved back to Kilkenny to occupy The Sycamore, The House..... and start a new life... And with Reuben's permission, she married his husband's cousin, Isaac Ferguson...
I packed my things when you were still deep in your sleep.
I wandered around the room,barefoot,i knew there was no promise to keep.
A ray of gloomy light seeping through,morning rain had clouded up your windows.
You're only a ring away i know  

But i have to go,i missed the last night train.
Here i am at my stop just waiting.
A stranger, no way i'd change back.
I'm going nowhere for you to track.
We walked and we walked
As i talked, you talked
The day was clear, and you were so near
I got my beer, handsome you were my dear.

You swore i tried to ignore
Me you adore,still i wanted more
Hand in hand, into my eyes you looked
We walked the land, like lovers in the Good Book.

There it was my love,blue and shiny
The sea with clouds above,the morning dew wet our faces so funny
You smiled and sang like a lonely rover
Still a mile we ran,scarcely sober

There you and me we sat before the ocean
My beer had gone flat, but everything was in motion.
I kissed you and you smiled, again happily we strode
So true we stood there for a while,what a long happy road.
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