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Of all the souls wandering around.
Hers was the only one.
Taken away out of sight.
Dim, mine was slight.

Come sing me a song.
As every soul runs long.
Your story is yet to tell.
When you are in hell.

I see souls wandering around.
Distinct stories of life that surround.
Their feet hardly touch the ground.
I heard hardly any sound.
Enjoyment and love by the water
We, blanketed in the sweet scent of sunset
As the world and daylight sever
Pouring our bare feet into grass of velvet

Vanilla skies reflected in the water
We stare deep like never
Benighted yet radiant and true
As the moon lights and seeps through you

Another kiss to another song
In every melody and pleasure
Ever so kind and fond
Like a precious treasure

We merge into a song
That i sing to your heart

''Come shine and light me
Like a twinkle in your eyes
As you stand on my bank before the starry water
Ever so fair ever mine''
This poem is dedicated to Lily Mae. I am you, you are me, we are one...
One of the men who had built this country died today.
I had lamented his passing to give my sadness a way.
In black suits we all looked like those statues that had been standing there for centuries.
Poignantly i felt a lot of things all at the same time, so eerie.

Today, a son had his father properly buried.
A man who had told me that the right ties would attract  girls.
A man who had let me drive his Porsche 912 and made me feel like i wanted to preserve those moments i got my hands on the wheel as in victory i roared.
A man with his manhood pride had told me that 'a man always wants more'

I saw no dead body today.
I saw a man in his beautiful black satin tuxedo as if it had been only yesterday
And suddenly i felt like i was going back onto those happy summer days when i was a little boy.
And all of a sudden my heart was filled with unexplained joy

An elephant dies and leaves its tusks
A deer dies and leaves its antlers
A crocodile dies and leaves its skin
A man dies and leaves his name.
(Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland.
December The 22nd 1990)

The man was saying grace....

For their wonderful breakfast that lovely morning. 3 days before christmas.
It was snowing outside.

They did not know some men were breaking into their house through the back door. They shot him twice in the head and left immediately before he caught his last breath in front of his hysterical kids and wife.

The man was saying grace...
To Mr.Willow, i miss you everyday.... May you rest in peace...
Why did God do this to us?
Why did everyone have to despise us?
Did we do anything wrong?
Or is it just because into this world we were born?

How long has it been since the last time i saw your beautiful face?
they did not understand how pure our feelings for each other were...
We lived in a circle of loneliness
And the wounds they cut on our skins would remain the same

Living my true life is like secretly reading a forbidden book late at night when the world is asleep.
Being myself is like being stranded in a land where rain never stops falling
Speaking up my own truth in a dark trance of my deepest dreams.
Where my shadow is the only light i see.
Where my heartbeat is the only sound i hear.

I'm transparent and glass-like
Easily read,hands outstretched
Exposed and hurt,unto the world i am
My tunnels of night have no end...

If i could choose where and when...
I would go back to the day i first saw you. Swaggering on your way home without fear.
You said 'being a man is not about being a man. it is about living your life as your heart tells you'.
  
This forbidden passion we shared
These secret touches you poured into me
these kisses that healed my wounds.
You were the willow tree i leant on by the river of despair.....
When i was 7, we still lived in Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland. There was this old cemetary that every kid in the neighbourhood was afraid of. Being terribly rebellious i spent much time playing hide and seek there with my brothers. I remember coming across an old aging gravestone with an angel standing next to it. I thought to myself 'i want two angels to guard me when i die'. And all of a sudden the fog came down covering my sight and for a moment i thought i had lost my brothers. It was the scariest moment of my life. Suddenly i felt a cold hand resting on my left shoulder. I turned around... To my surprise... There was my father, smiling at me vaguely. He found me.
'No boy your age should be wandering alone in a cemetary' he said.
I took his hand and kissed it gently, held him so tight. He bent down to kiss me back. Then we walked among the gravestones in silence, with the fog swirling round us like ghosts. I was holding his hand tight all the way back home. I was thinking, so was he. But i knew we knew what the other was thinking.

My father...
You're the second person who touched my lips...
Carressed my hair....
Looked me in the eye so deep...
Kissed me so gently and true...
Touched my body so passionately...

But you're the first  who touched my heart...
Tonight i want to run away with you.
Away from this world beneath the stars.
Extracting blue from the sky we fly through.
Extracting red from Mars.

Across the universe, there is a hidden place we have not been.
Beneath the stars we have not seen.
That flutter round it like moths.
Radiant clouds they froth.

You and i feel the magic in the air.
As we merge with galaxies so fair.
Running into Heaven's secrets to pry.
It feels so good i want to cry.

Our cries shall be soothed.
Into our souls heavenly rain shall be smoothed.
Together we paint the sky with our story.
As in the radiant universe alone we glory.

Tonight...
You and me...
We cast our souls into heaven...
It feels so good i want to cry...
It feels so good...
So good...
I want to cry...
I look out the window and i see you walking closer towards me.
Snow is falling, covering the world with a beautiful white blanket.
I sit by the fire, waiting for you to knock on my door.
I breathe the sweet air my pinewood fire is scenting... And smile...

Merry Christmas to you...
She stabbed me the right way.
As i was bleeding the light in my eyes started to fade away.
It was very slow and painful.
Such a deep agony and my face turned tearful.

She stabbed me right in the heart.
The most vulnerable of all parts.

My love as viscous as my blood...
The more viscous it is...
the more painful it feels...
Such a blood flood...
Had we never gone home...
Had we never sung our songs...
Had we never loved to part...
Had we never cried so hard...

Here was i calling out for ye.
They could hear me from Malin to Dursley.
O me heart lost and blind.
Torn and misled through the years.

There in Kilkenny,by the water,
Kind as the hills yet cold as Moher's cliffs was me father.
'where are ye going o lonely rover...'
'had ye never been loved by yer lover...'

Sang he,a song of loss and loneliness...
'o yer eyes painted a thousand pictures of long journey,rolling hills,running streams,and rugged coastlines'
'o how i miss walking on that road down the hill to the sea'
'o ol' Erin,to ye i gave me heart a long time ago with tear'
I woke up this morning the world seemed so right
But you were not in sight.
Right next to me, i saw the vague shape you had made in our bed.
The sheet and your fading-away scent.

I put my hand on it...
With the rays of sunlight seeping in through the window...
I knew you were gone...
Oh sorrow..can I put you to sleep within this soul... Can I put the
memories of our time together to bed... the pain of us being lost
in time has left me a wanderer in my own soul.... The place we
walk in seperates us from the world... It's here we search each
other out... Timeless mists of grey...

My time is not yours...
Your time is not mine...
This feelings so magical at your feet i pour...
Longing for your purity, your body, my sacred shrine....
Left stranded in a trance of continuum.
Never to find my consciousness
My dreams running like water in a dark vacuum.
Your heart to redeem my soul in this torturing endlessness.

I bathe in what you have placed before me...with arms outstretched
hoping to gather you there...to share with you the ancient secrets
of my heart...hoping that just one moment in time the mist will
fade and I will see your face...I will feel your heart beat against
mine...

I have walked through the dark clouds of my youth to see you
These unheard voices inside me, this path i am given so true...
Through time and empty spaces i travel
For i have an unbearable desire to complete you

I hold the hope within like a light...a beacon
for you to see me...
to breach the the walls that have cast us here...
bound by want and need...
A desire to be whole...in all ways....
here in my thoughts i dwell forever.... With a longing so pure
before time....
It is here I will wait for you...
in soulful surrender...
for the truest love of mine


Unto heaven and earth we are made an unfulfilled vow
Yet our hearts will remain one true scent of a story that goes to
the ends of earth
I am walking among the silhouette of the trees.
Stranded and lost in the frozen breeze.
I leave no footprints on the wet earth beneath my feet.
My days are nothing but cold sleet.

I still have real feelings though lost.
My spirit fills the circle of cold frost.
I wander my own land in a pursuit of peace.
Will my weary days ever cease?

I miss my old me.
I was full of life and passions....

Now i don't even know name.
The world still looks the same.
Yet remote and far away.
Nothing good left to say.

For me night has not yet come to pass
Beneath the stars that mass
To shine on me and my weary heart.
I took my path to part.

I see nothing but the dark silhoutte of the trees.
I hear nothing but the sound of the falling leaves.
I smell nothing but the scent of the wet earth beneath.

I feel nothing but emptiness...
Many years ago a young man went missing. Rumor has it he got robbed and killed. But his body was never found. They say his body was buried somewhere in the woods.

He's not the only one.....
I really loved the willow tree in front of our house.
We used to climbed it together for hours.

My Father taught me how to climb the willow tree.
Tighten my grip, strong and steady.
I saw the green leaves reflected in his eyes.
Ever since then i had known the sun would always come to rise.

My Father...
Our beloved Willow Tree...

When my father passed away they cut it down and make a coffin out of it.
That day, i saw my tree falling down and i felt the earth shaking beneath my feet.

My Father...
My Willow Tree
I want to be a tree... reaching high up into your heaven... rooting deep into your heart...
I was walking among the trees.
Looking through the sillhouette of the trees.
There stood a lonely willow before the river.
I saw the moon shimmering in the water.

What has got into me, i whispered.
Such a magic i beheld as i fell deeper.
The trees were alive and old .
Ancient lights were swirling round their branches so cold.

Was it the moon in the water i saw hypnotizing me...
Was it too dreamy to be...
Suddenly in my cupped hands this tiny little thing flapping i felt.
And my consciousness trembled to melt.

The willow tree was looking at me.
Ancient, old, and mysterious.
I stood there shaking like unconsciousness.
'Stumble to fall' he hissed.
what was mine was his.

Stumble to fall.
Stumble to fall.
Stumble to fall.

I went back home to find my Father's last breath.
We are standing before the world.
Hand in hand, touching as it gets cold.
Reflection of the moon in your eyes.
The lights of the universe are seeping through our souls as we arise.

We sit by the lake still.
You are naked and radiant.
With the moonlight poured down from heaven on your skin.
In so many ways you make me feel.

You are tonight's miracle.

You hold my hand and whisper
''Don't drive me home tonight...''

I smile.
We are standing before the world.
Hand in hand, touching as it gets cold. Reflection of the moon in your eyes.
The lights of the universe are seeping through our souls as we arise.

We sit by the lake still.
You are naked and radiant.
With the moonlight poured down from heaven on your skin.
In so many ways you make me feel.

You are tonight's miracle.
You hold my hand and whisper
''Don't drive me home tonight...''

I smile.
She walked alone.
As the world droned.
With the fog swirling round.
Along the wet grassy mound.

Among the dead trees of autumn.
That flapped in the cold breeze as they hummed.
Distant lights of morning twinkled round her.
Slightly, unsteady, getting brighter.

She hastened away into the gloom of the dawn.
Upon God she wished to fawn.
To instill her hopes into the earth.
To regain her place of birth.

Thither, under a shading sycamore.
Lied a gloomy tomb of yore.
Staring back at her silently.
As if wishing to embrace her ardently.

Thither lied her silent love...
Corrupted through seasons that roved.
Left untouched in the dark.
Like a fading mark.

He used to be a handsome man.
Swaggering along his Father's land.
Smiling at the promise of the day.
Dancing his nights away.

She wist where she had seen him for the very first time.
When the church bell chimed.
When sons of God filled the cold emptiness.
To calm the world's restlessness.

She touched her love affectionately.
For the last time before she left reluctantly.
With tears her eyes dimmed.
She would always come back for him.

She and the tomb shared an old story only they wist.
Of feelings she could never resist.
Her longing for his presence.
Though only exsisted in silence.
Empty hearts, cold faces.
Old tapering hands reaching out for ancient traces.
I feel old and delayed.
My face is gaunt in despair.

I have never walked so far away from myself before...
i
am
leaving
my door
ajar tonight.
I want you to know
that i am letting you in
my house my heart
my life my sight.
Come to me
and fill
me
in
Slowly i am walking myself to the place we used to go
The memories suddenly attack me like a foe
I know these trees, i know this river. I feel the earth beneath my trembling feet.
I smell the air wrapping its ancient melody around me so sweet.

I have been to many places
I have seen so many faces
From town to town i have roamed
Even a greenfinch remembers to fly back home

In my Father's dwelling i lay my body
My life is just another parody

By this river i look at my own reflection
I see a man telling me his stories and affection.
A long time ago, when i was a young man, i found love.
A love for me to always be proud of

Before this earth i feel so young
I know some songs will always remain unsung
But i had sung to you all the songs of my youth
Those days when your pain i soothed

My days are slowly numbered
i hold the emptiness right next to me gently, my love, i do not want to disturb your slumber.
I am not really walking all by myself i know
I can feel your warm breath on my skin like a far away row.
She sits by her window everyday.
Waiting for her boys.
She has nothing to say.
Waiting for her boys.

She wakes up every morning just to look out the window.
Waiting for her boys.
Swirling around in the hall so narrow.
Waiting for her boys.

She prays every night to her sacred enlightment.
Waiting for her boys.
Wishing on a pure enjoyment.
Waiting for her boys.

Not the weak and vague scent of their presence hovering over her.

Till the day they come home safe and sound.
Till the day they come around.

Safe and sound.
Swirling around.

When the boys come home.
She will not feel lonesome.

And now waiting for her boys.
She collects their childhood toys.
To every mother whose sons have died in wars
I walked myself to a night club because i was terribly weary.
I had a lot of wine with ice cubes and i did not feel sorry.
You weren't there you didn't see.
You didn't share you didn't feel.

My life was swirling around in a glass of red wine.
If i could've spoken only with vowel sound, i wouldn't have gone blind.
The song was good people were dancing.
Music was the food that i'd been seeking.

In the twilights of the dance floor i felt alone.
They could not see my core or where i belonged.
I held the empty air once again and embodied your present to dance with.
My sweatdrops were falling like rain as i danced the song away so weird.

Another year had gone by and you weren't there.
I didn't want to try as much as you didn't want to share.
Share your days with me like you always had before.
Though the man in me kept saying you were what i had been seeking for.

It was an american melody i danced away.
Just a cliché melancholy to drag me away.
From the man i had been.
From you that i had seen.

Was it the wine, the music, or me?
Run out of time, had i?

You weren't there...
You didn't see...
You didn't share...
You didn't feel...
Ye move swiftly as ye haste ter yer cold shore.
Ter stand before the ocean, waiting fer yer long-lost lover.

''How i miss yer sweet tender embrace when it is cold in the morning.
Such a radiant smile to brighten me days'' ye sing.

Yer hills answer in a thankful prayer.
Across the land ye walk alone like a rover.
O woman had yer lover stayed...
Had yer pledge been said...

Lonely and hurt as ye be.
Frozen dew and foggy hills ye see.
Waitin' ter never see him.
Watchin' those boats in a distant dim.

By yer river, before the dead blackening trees, alone ye linger.
Still yer hair radiant, though quiver.
Empty yer heart, cold yer face.
Across the shore i see yer every saddened pace.

I came ter catch yer every tear.
Pity will not hamper me, nor will me fear.
Woman green the hills far away.
Ye nay glad yet have much ter say.

Unto him far ye walked, longing ter his eyes ter look deep.
Ay sweet touch as it is, will seep.
Come behold his light o'er the ocean.
Soft ter touch yer heart, when the storm is mean.
I am surrounded by yesterday.
Shadows from the past will never go away.
You had once cut your skin and let me in.
Forever your silhouette will linger herein.

You were so alive i felt like a ghost.
There were many doors but your door was the only one i needed the most.
To walk through to find a new world.
Where i could fight my fears so cold.

Thank you...

Thank you for yesterday...
For letting me stay...
For letting me touching your face...
For letting me taste a sip of your peace...
For her
We're like the two sides of a penny....

So very close yet we will never see each other...

— The End —