How did we end up like this,
strangers that want to be kissed?

stories of woman and men and wolfes and the ocean
pictures burned
in someone's old closet
all of them masked
in the fond of yellow
bright as gold
real and cold
shades of me
shades of everything I abhor.
  I burned everyone who burned me
How can they not betrayed me when even myself betrayed me?

and I don't want to
but I let you anyway
and I don't want to
but I beg for our lives
together
and I don't want to
and all I do is be with you
and I love you
but our love is all over the place
and I love it
but I hate this pressure in my chest
and I don't want to
but I need to get away
and I don't want to
but you don't even know you're doing this to me
and I don't want to blame you
but this madness, these voices
keep renting my brain
and I don't want to
but I've been so messed already
that this is not helping
and I don't want to
but-

you gave me fights
I struggled to give away
everything now remains
you're the first thing I thought will leave the page
yet feels like this time
we ended the games
    (finally)

Mon coeur,
I can't live without you
I can't live when I'm with you
I can't breath
I can't speak
I'm turning French
to prettify the lie that we live.
             Notre vie,
             une grande catastrophe.

my dance moves
look like burning stones
in the active volcano
you created
they flicker and bounce
looks like not knowing what's going on
or what to do.
I'm I the losing steps you chose?