It’s one of those nights
where light fades
and life gets tiring.
Lonely enough
my demons
does not even tap my shoulders,
they don’t even critique my choices
they sit there silent with a placard saying;
“You love her. We love her. Don’t let this **** bring you down.”

I failed to understand
why saints —and lovers
behave as they do,
so rash and illogical,
maybe until the point that
it’s no longer rational.
Until someone
made my heart
come alive.

I want to lay my head on your lap
having you pet me and play with my hair

Sing for you an old song,
that reminds me of you

And then talk to you about the random-est of things
seeing you smile and laugh over my silly thoughts

I hope to see you happy then,
as my consciousness slip away and drifting to sleep