i am not the remains
of what you left.
i am whole.
i was not left to die.
i am alive, thriving.
i am the flowers that grew from your rain.

You know me,
You see me.
You know my
thoughts,
my dreams,
when i sleep
and when i rise.
You know I'm imperfect
and You know there's so much
more to be done in me
and You love me,
not the me i will be
but the me that i am.

stop swimming
in oceans of shame,
of guilt, of regret.
let grace be your lighthouse
and swim to its shore.
let yesterday drown
in the sea of forgetfulness
and let go.
the past is not yours.

coffee and milk
sand and sea
night and stars
flowers and rain
you and i-
the perfect blend.

there is a country in the world
put on the same trajectory as the sun
and i am in it
trying to swim in its waters of *** and morirsoñando
trying to stay afloat,
trying to swim back to where i came from.
in the shores of the sea
of this country in the world
the sand tells the stories of those who came before me
the ships,
the ships,
the ships that gave and took away,
the ships that gave me my curls and my nose,
my spanish and my last name.
there is a country in the world
put on the same trajectory as the sun
and i am in it,
with love for its coffee rains and warm people,
for its streets and rivers,
beaches and songs.
there is a country in the world
put on the same trajectory as the sun
and i am in it,
afraid for its women and their beauty,
afraid for its girls,
afraid of, and for, its men without love.
there is a country in the world
put on the same trajectory as the sun
and i am in it,
and this land holds more poems than it can read,
more songs than it can sing,
more hope than what it has lost.
there is hope
for a country in the world
put on the same trajectory as the sun
and i am in it.

there is no poetry today,
i said.
but today is the poem.
the laughter, the conversations,
the sharing of beauty,
the seconds that turn into moments
that turn into life
that turn into memories.
isn’t time the poetry of life?
isn't the feeling of not having enough words
to tell of the wonder of this day
worth more than a poem?
the seeking and the finding,
the making and the living:
this is the poetry hiding below our feet,
the music we long to sing.

these curls
these waves
they tell the story
of the people before me
how they came across the ocean
an ocean with waves like mine
these curls
they are springs
they are the spring
they are the life inside me
the earth that grows flowers
they are telling you that i am here
and that i am the story
the story of stories
the retelling of the lives that came before me
they tell of home,
of movement and flavor
these curls
they are mine
and they are good

show me how to appreciate You.
show me to be in awe of your wonderful creation.
-seas and skies and depths and heights-
but teach me to find You in the everyday.

teach me
to smile when
the sun's rays creep in
through my curtains and with their warmth
kiss my face.

teach me
to listen quietly
to the sparrow that perches on my window,
singing his song
and glorifying You.

teach me
to marvel at
the rain that gently falls
and brings life
to a dead garden.

teach me
to laugh with
giggling children,
innocent and carefree,
and to treasure their thoughts and curiosity.

teach me
to be still
when You move around me
because that's where You hide-
in the small, everyday things

people won't remember
your pretty face
nor your pretty clothes
and the money you had.
they will remember
the melody in your laugh
and the way you loved
and the beauty of your heart
and the bravery of your spirit
and the kindness of your soul.
they won't remember what
you looked like
they won't remember what
you had.
they will remember you
and the words you told them
and the life you spoke to them
and the water you used
to bring to life the dead garden
in their souls
and they will remember the
sunshine in your smile
and the stars that
hid in your eyes.

see me
the way i
see myself
with the waves of the sea
in my hair
and their song in my swaying hips
see me
the way i
see myself
with flowers growing
in my soul
see me
the way i
am

this day is yours
to love
to hope
to make beautiful things
to laugh
to start again
to make it what you want it to be
don't believe it is too late
to dream new dreams
to fall in love again
to wish upon a star
to be who you are

This is just so beautiful.
Roses bloom in spring.
A little sparrow sings.
The world sings to me.

Roses bloom in spring.
A tune of happiness and love
The world sings to me.
A melody that flies through the trees.

A tune of happiness and love.
A little sparrow sings
A melody that flies through the trees.
This is just so beautiful.

this is more than a song.
this is more than poetry.
this is my heart.
every day i break it
turn its pieces into words
that will make the pieces of your broken heart
put themselves back together.

with just three nails
Your life ended
and mine began.
it took only three nails
to change my destiny,
my identity,
my future.
with three nails
You gave me life i don't deserve
because i fail you
and yet You love me.
those three nails signified
Your unending love
for me.
those three nails gave me
the freedom to struggle.
and i will never fully understand
what it meant for You to let
those three nails
pierce You.
i will never fully understand
how much it hurt,
how much it cost
You to let
those three nails pierce You.
and yet i know that
if You had to do it again
You would let
those three nails
pierce You.

i know You love me
and yet i feel unlovable.
i know You treasure me
and yet i feel unworthy.
and i know who i am
and what i can do
and yet i feel like
i will never measure up
to what You want from me.
oh, if i could have a glimpse of
what You see.
if only i could see myself
through Your eyes.

You're so big
and great and glorious
and endless and amazing
and perfect
and You don't need
tiny
little
ordinary
me
and yet You saw
tiny
little
ordinary
me
and i don't know what You saw in
tiny
little
ordinary
me
but You chose to take
my heart and make it Your home,
and You chose to make of
tiny
little
ordinary
me
a canvas
to display Your glory,
to shine Your light
and even though You don't need
tiny
little
ordinary
me
You chose to give me a chance.

today,
i woke up
with a smile,
because today
You kissed
my face with the
sun's rays,
today
You sang to
me and You said
that You loved me,
that You had not
forgotten me,
that You look at my
heart and You like what
You see
and today i
believed You.

all of this.
this breathing.
this walking.
this speaking.
this writing.
all of this is here
all of this is to say
that i was here.
that i am here,
and when i am no longer here,
i still will be.
all of this
is an attempt
to not forget myself
to not let you forget me.
all of this.
this body.
this hair.
this skin.
this voice.
all of this is here.
all of this, it matters.
today
i mattered
tomorrow
i will.

i want
to
dream,
to love,
to never settle
for less than more,
to look at the
stars and know
i was made to
shine brighter
than they do,
to look at the sky
and know it is
my home,
to run wildly
and freely,
unafraid and
brave,
to dare to jump
and fall and
rise,
to
dream,
to love,
to never settle
for less than more.

all i want is
to know You
to know what stirs
your heart
to know by heart
the lines of your face
to tune my heart
to the music of
your voice
to know the rhythm
of your thoughts
to know what
makes You smile
to know your love
all i want is
to know You.

my heart,
may you always be free.
my heart,
may you never be afraid.
my heart,
may you be wild.
my heart,
may you never spend your days
locked in a cage of fear.
my heart,
may you fall in love with beauty,
the beauty that lies in bravery,
the beauty that lives in joy.
my heart,
may you never be afraid to drown
in the ocean of love.

i wonder
what will be the cause of heartbreak?
what will make you leave?
will i make you leave?
who will leave?
i know
one of us will.
i already know
i will
not save anything for myself
(i know i should)
but i will not
i will
not even try.
i will
give you everything—
my heart, my bones, my time,
my shoulders and hands and collarbone
and all of my firsts.
i will
write you poems, tuck them in your hair
i will
whisper you my love in the night.
i wonder
about your eyes
how will they see me?
what color are they?
what will it take from me to make them dance?
i know
i will love you long after you’re gone
ours will be the story
i will tell my children
i know
i will forgive you and let you go,
remember you more times than i should,
write you poems you will never read.

they buried your bones,
but not what was inside them.
they buried your bones,
but they didn't
they couldn't
bury your light, your love,
the story you told while breath was still yours
they didn't
they couldn't bury your laughter,
your song,
the memories the ones who loved you keep.
they buried your bones
but they didn't
they couldn't bury you,
for you are not there,
in those underground houses of dirt.
you are in the hearts of those who loved you,
in the faces of your children,
in your grandchildren's eyes.
you are in the words you said,
the places your feet touched.
you are everywhere
everywhere
everywhere

i used to tell myself the same thing.
that maybe something was wrong with me.
that maybe love was enough for me but i was not.
i have imagined kisses a thousand times
i have dreamt of arms around my own
and i have written enough love stories for the entire world
and poems to fill books
and i questioned so much-
my beauty, my worth, my skin, my bones
and i traveled and walked away
from fear and self-doubt
towards bravery and courage,
towards knowing what i want and what i deserve
and i know love is something i cannot earn,
something that belongs to me as much as air,
that love is enough for me
and i am enough for it
and i am enough with or without it.

touch my heart
the way the sun touches the clouds
at sunset, filling them with color,
with light.
touch my heart
like rain touches the earth,
softly,
breathing life in it,
making it bloom.
touch my heart,
touch my life,
touch my soul.

i will let myself
[my soul]
sink into your ocean.

tu nombre
i've whispered it into the night
a million times
i've tasted it in mi boca
like honey, slow and sweet
tu nombre
lo sabe la luna
i've sung it to the stars
to my heart
like a lullaby to calm the sea dentro de mí
tu nombre
lo llevo tatuado en los labios
en cada espacio
tu nombre
i've said it like a prayer
lo he llorado
se lo he cantado al alma
hoping it finds peace
tu nombre
is in todas las cosas
está en everything
en el verano
and its rain
in spring y las flores.
tu nombre
todo. everything.

in twenty one days, on the twenty first of may, you will be turning twenty one.
twenty one seemed so far away when you were growing up. i remember how you pictured twenty one year-old you, with wavy jet-black hair, thin bones and a radiant smile.
your hair is wavy right now, thanks to the rain that hasn't stopped falling; your bones are the thinnest they've ever been; and i think you've got a pretty radiant smile. so, three out of three, i guess.
and your life is better than what you dreamed.
you are surrounded by so much goodness.
your mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays, thursdays and fridays are filled with the laughter of fifteen children that steal your phone to take selfies and give you hugs that leave you breathless.
you have the friends you have always wanted. it took you a while to find them, but they're here now. they are your home.
you are doing beautiful things with your life. your words are in books, in journals and in people's hearts.
your life is more than life. it is light and fire and bravery and hope and a song.
and you are loved.

i wish you well.
every joy.
all the words. may you turn time into poems. into stories. to keep forever.
i wish you rain.
growth. spring.
summer.
a kiss.
light. may you always trust the path before you. even if you cannot see it.
laughter. like a waterfall.
photos. take them. be in them, too.
softness. for the heart, the eyes. the soul.
songs. for every moment. for when there are no poems.
airplanes and coffee shops and places.
friendships. silver and gold.
letters. for you, from you.
wisdom. and the learning that comes with it.
the tears, too.
rivers to follow.
and all that hasn’t been yet.

kiss me under the bougainvillea tree
let the leaves fall on our heads
as our lips hesitantly touch
and one pink leaf will land on your nose,
and our lips will curve into a rhyming smile

un día maybe mami
will run her hands through my hair.
she will not try to straighten it.
her fingers will be gentle and kind.
un día maybe she will look at my skin
won't point out the flaws
(aunque los haya)
she will connect all the freckles and beauty marks
me llamará una constellation
miel will drip from her lips
fall on my forehead
un día maybe mami
will understand me
read my poems
write me un poema
in which she loves me

un día maybe papi
will see me
will not tell me que cambie esa cara
understand that i only have one
and that he gave it to me
un día maybe papi
will brew us some coffee
hot enough to break el hielo we both put in there
un día maybe papi
will listen to my silence
understand that there are words in it too
will stop pulling out
palabras que no pueden salir
un día maybe
mis palabras tendrán color
they will be like a river that i cannot stop from flowing
un día maybe i will write him a poem
and it will be in a book
un día maybe papi
will not have to ask me to speak up
un día maybe
papi querrá bailar conmigo
un día, maybe.

unknot the knot
in my throat
with a look
a word
maybe a kiss
that will give me back
the breath you’ve stolen

the voices of the past
make their way into my head
and they whisper to me
all the things that i have done
and remind me of who i once was
they remind me of when
i broke your heart
and i cry
because i don't deserve You
but You embrace me
and tell me that
You don't care about
who i was or what i did
You just care about
my heart
and your voice, your light
drowns out
the darkness of the voices
of the past

vulnerability is a risk.
it might break you.
but through the cracks is where the light shines.
vulnerability is a game
and no matter how much you lose
you will always win.
vulnerability might wound you,
but it will heal you, too.
don't run away from this,
don't walk away from it.
come closer, dip your toes in this water.
know that this is how you grow,
how you love,
how you become into what you will be.

when i love
i open my heart
and i let my little soul out
and i give you the key
to open it.
i give you the power
to do with it as you please.
you could love me back
and make my soul grow
and burst into colors
but
you could break it
and crush it
into tiny little pieces
and walk all over them
and turn them into dust.
but sooner or later
those tiny pieces
will find their way
and slowly come back together
and love you all over again.

i am waiting for a poem
a poem that is waiting for me
a poem that sits on the night like a star
a poem i did not write but instead lived
i am waiting for words
words that aren’t empty
words strong enough to carry this story
words raw and meaningful and unafraid
i am waiting for answers
answers to questions
answers to life
answers to this waiting
i am waiting for love
love that makes songs out of moments
love like coffee and milk
love that heals
i am waiting
i am waiting
waiting for me.

i went swimming
in the sea of your words,
and overwhelmed by
your waves,
the waves that called my
name,
the waves that said
that
You love me, that i am
not alone, that You care for
me, that You look at
my heart
and You like what you see,
that my heart is worth
pursuing,
in those waves,
i drowned.

we are poems.
beautifully written,
wonderfully designed;
marvelous works of art.
we are written with
starlight and wonder,
with verses of beauty
written across our hearts.
we are walking rhymes,
walking wonders,
walking words that tell
stories of freedom
and redemption.
we are poetry,
we are songs,
we are melodies
that are sung on
bright days.
we are the words of grace,
we are the words unforgotten,
we are words that remain.

did you expect my flowers
to bloom among you?
what could grow on your dry land?
only weeds.

you are more
than anyone could ever be.
you are royalty
dressed in gold jewelry and purple robes.
you are worth
more than all the diamonds in the world.
your smile
can light up the darkest sky.
your laughter makes flowers bloom.
your eyes are brighter
than a summer sun.
you are loved.
you are treasured.
you're important.
you're enough.

when will you see the stars that shine in your heart?
when will you hear the music that your soul is singing?
when will you see the sweetness of your spirit, the kindness of your heart?
when will you see the brave warrior living in your soul?
when will you believe that you are loved?
when will you see the threads of grace woven in your hair?
when will you look at yourself in the mirror and see all that you can be?
when will you see who you are?

when hands reach to touch you
may they reach for you
not hoping to find anything
but you
may they reach for you knowing
that you cannot fill empty spaces
and that you
do not have any empty spaces within you
may they reach for you
gently, in love,
with wonder at the wonder
that you are

when i'm with you
and you look at me
i know you see me
the way i have always seen myself
when i'm with you
i feel like i am every star in the sky
and when i'm with you
i feel infinite and more than what i am
i forget my feet because you give me wings
and i am not afraid to fly
when i am with you
you turn into rain and i turn into flowers

if i ever told you
i loved you
i meant to say
‘thank you’
for not running away
for looking at me and choosing to stay
what i meant to say
was that
my heart has found a home inside yours
when i tell you i love you
what i mean is that
you are an ocean i am not afraid of drowning in
what i mean is that
i have never been afraid of being alone
but when i'm without you
loneliness tastes like bitter coffee
when i say i love you
i mean it.

every morning
i walk into this space:
a classroom.
i turn on the lights,
open cabinets,
set the tables
with paper and pencil.
i tell myself that i will teach you what i know,
which is not much.
i read you stories, tell you about poetry
and i let you play.
in exchange,
you teach me what you know:
to laugh at myself, to play,
to look at the world around me
and take notice of it.
every now and then i wonder,
who is the teacher?
is it me
or
is it you?

your wild hair
is just a little
glimpse of who
you are,
it tells me
that your heart
and your dreams
and soul
are just as wild
as those locks
of yours
you are lovely
and free
and brave
and
your heart finds
life in color
and boldness
and who you are,
wildflower,
makes you beautiful.

let's be wildflowers,
let our souls be scattered by the wind.
let us grow, wild and free,
tall and brave,
in the places that we dream,
in the places where our longings
are filled.
let us grow between the cracks
of brokenness,
and we will make everything beautiful.

with every sunrise
You tell me that
i am loved and that
i am forgiven and that
my heart is sought after and that
You have not forgotten me and that
i am Yours forever.

woman.
house of fire and hope
and light.
woman.
canvas where loveliness and
fierceness blend.
woman.
ocean of flowers and life.
garden where all things wonderful grow.
woman.
you.