i’m with my friends
and you hit me up.
i get nervous.
can they hear my heart race?
if they know who it was,
i’d be *******.
can’t be a fool and fall for you,
not today,
not again.

“it isn’t right.”
”block him.”
“he’s no good.”
“you can’t wait around.”

what they don’t know
is just ‘cause you’re far away
and don’t message everyday,
doesn’t mean you didn’t care.
and i wouldn’t say you weren’t,
once upon a time,
a dream of mine.

i love to listen attentively
to all of your adventuring plans.
the ones where you
do the unthinkable;
reach the unreachable.

becoming close to you
has brought something new:
a brightness or a happiness—
something cheery and sunshiney.

i can’t say anything yet;
it’s all under the wrong circumstances.
if i say something now,
i risk losing you.

this is brand new.
this is so good.
i don’t want to give it all up,
as self-centered it may seem.
but i feel guilty for keeping
the realest of my feelings inside.

what do i say?
what do i do?
how do i act natural
when all i want
is you?

i fell so hard and cared for so long.
i promised i wouldn't stop;
i told myself i would keep believing in you.

i don't care anymore.
i see your face and i don't feel anything good for you.
you've become a nuisance.

i'm on my way to forgetting all the good things.
all i can remember now is the bad and the sad.
looking at you ****** me off.

i get it now;
why so many friends told me to stay away.
you're bad for me.

you're not a good person.
no matter how many times you say you are,
you're not.

you're toxic.
i'm glad i'm forgetting you.
i'm done being treated like ****.

i hurt because i am so
                      l o n e l y .
you have broken every part of me.
all that i have left to be
is not an endless possibility.

i do not believe
that you would leave me to grieve
at such a distance you left between.

missing you has become a part
of my everyday existence.
no more love left in your heart;
                                            anger,
       ­                                     anger,
                                           a n g e r
tears me apart.

the pain i feel,
ink on my skin,
maiming my heart.
no more love,
no more love,
no more l o v e .

- g . r .

i said "i'm glad you're happy"
you said "i hope you're happy, too"

i said "i am"
because i couldn't say the truth.
i'm not happy,
my happiest was with you.

-g.r.

maybe everyone is solving the same puzzle.
some take their time
while others hurry to finish.

this jigsaw has a zillion pieces,
each piece a little different
from all the rest.

maybe we started at the wrong end,
going from top to bottom
instead of bottom to top.

this puzzle is confusing.
it is hard to put together
when the pictures look so similar
in every piece.

maybe your piece stuck out to me.
it had more color than the rest,
but the color was faded.

it seemed to need some brightness,
so i tried to force my piece
to be with yours.
to give it more light than before.

maybe my piece is slightly broken,
because it's hard to fit into the rest of the puzzle.
we seemed to fit alright,
i figured it was enough--
to roughly fit with your piece.

i think i tried too hard
to make our pieces fit.

maybe i wouldn't pull away
because i knew you needed light.
but maybe it wasn't my light you needed.

our pieces don't match.
your piece is out there.
it has just enough color,
and just enough light,
to bring you out of the dark.