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fyodormatveyev Dec 2021
It's been long enough
Since I trust an imaginary truth
That becomes a faith
Deep in my 7th layer dreams

Hoping my 7th layer of dream is empty
Not a person, not a thing, not a think
Used to be filled with the people I cared for & respected
But now I let them pass from "dragging me down"
fyodormatveyev Apr 2021
Eversince I broke our comms, I questioned myself

Do I let you enter my life or do I fully accept you in my life?

Been years contemplating about it

Do you let me enter your life or do you simply accept me into your life?
A single-complex memoir to learn
fyodormatveyev Mar 2021
Between the celebration
I recognized two identical faces

In the last two-plays
I hear two exact names

I watched four-plays and turns out these things are the riddles that might have become my prayers

The last message might align through the universe
As I realized I'm getting closer to my smallest circle
I don't know where I'm going to and don't know how to feel either
fyodormatveyev Mar 2021
All the choices I have made
Truer self die a long time ago along with my unfulfilled dreams

The best of me die in vain
That the end of myself will start an alternate version of myself

This universe will find the path
When I take it with along the way

I have patronized myself but now I don't
Because my body understands indescribable languages I spoke

I may have died
But I don't forget how to live either
fyodormatveyev Nov 2020
10 years from now,
will I laugh at myself for being so vulnerable?
will there be an improvement?
fyodormatveyev Nov 2020
I love the idea that everyone is doomed
Then that depends on what made them on their feet
Since I tend to enjoy my cry
Not to meant that I wouldn't resolve it but it takes courage against yourself
Thus living on the next day, to save the energy
For another cry
Am I ready against myself?
fyodormatveyev Sep 2020
Yellow butterflies
Speeding cargo
Countryside's rice fields
Shuffled playlists

Blank visions
Got nothing in mind
Small green-coloured pillow
In my arms

Farmers on positions
Bow and stand
All-day working
For underpaid paycheck

Man with shades on
Relaxing under the morning sun
With cigarettes in his hand
Facing the railway

Lots of helpers
Keep busy with themselves
With mirrors and some neo-traditional music
Abandon some people who need help

Multiple races
That fight for the truth
Everyone's not knowing

High and higher trees
Green, green grass
Almost hidden parked bike and houses
Beyond sights

Mislead righteousness
Based on assumptions
Gone too far
From the right track

She was high in blue skies
I was drowned in the bathroom aisles
Black dots becomes black mud
Spread all over my head

Stranded in an empty mind
Worried enough
Daylight doesn't even shine on them
Hoping for miraculous thing to be true

Does it matter?
Paradoxes back and forth
In the various divided path of my life
At the highest downfall
on the rail, close enough for 2020
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