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fyodormatveyev Nov 2024
25 minutes, projecting life for the unknown
Here and there, still alone
Wondering for how long I would have to stand in this zone

Lying in the garden, upside down
Watching the moon’s gentle frown
Pleasing others to condone

Temporary thoughts, temporarily prone
A glimpse of music from the phone
Chasing the fragile fading throne

Lovely girl with a strong cheekbone
Quietly regret the paths I've thrown
For everything I don’t own

Hesitation’s weight has grown
Killing two birds with a single stone
For everything I don’t own

The lights that always shone
Reminds me to atone
For everything I don't own
Impermanence
fyodormatveyev Dec 2021
It's been long enough
Since I trust an imaginary truth
That becomes a faith
Deep in my 7th-layer dreams

Hoping the 7th layer of the dream is empty
Not a person, not a thing, not a thought
Used to be filled with the people I cared for & respected
But now I let them pass from "dragging me down"
fyodormatveyev Apr 2021
Eversince I broke our comms, I questioned myself

Do I let you enter my life or do I fully accept you in my life?

Been years contemplating about it

Do you let me enter your life or do you simply accept me into your life?
A single-complex memoir to learn
fyodormatveyev Mar 2021
?
Between the celebration
I recognized two identical faces

In the last two-plays
I hear two exact names

I watched four-plays and turns out these things are the riddles that might have become my prayers

The last message might align through the universe
As I realized I'm getting closer to my smallest circle
I don't know where I'm going to and don't know how to feel either
fyodormatveyev Mar 2021
All the choices I have made
Truer self die a long time ago along with my unfulfilled dreams

The best of me die in vain
That the end of myself will start an alternate version of myself

This universe will find the path
When I take it with along the way

I have patronized myself but now I don't
Because my body understands indescribable languages I spoke

I may have died
But I don't forget how to live either
fyodormatveyev Nov 2020
10 years from now,
will I laugh at myself for being so vulnerable?
will there be an improvement?
fyodormatveyev Nov 2020
I love the idea that everyone is doomed
Then that depends on what made them on their feet
Since I tend to enjoy my cry
Not to meant that I wouldn't resolve it but it takes courage against yourself
Thus living on the next day, to save the energy
For another cry
Am I ready against myself?
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