the more i grow up,
the more i realize that
i hate my surroundings,
i hate being around them

the hatred grows,
within me—
the serenity planted,
within me—

being exiled,
i'm used to it
but not with loneliness—
not when everybody is around

the tippy toes dancing
the whole heart feeling
the wide smile faces
the desire to dance every seconds
the happy humming wherever i go

oh, to be falling in love

but last night—
after two years,
you smiled to me,
waved your hands,
and we both laughed
to each other's stories

suddenly,
the light turns darker—

you took my hand,
slowly lifted it up
right above my head,
make movements
as if you wanted me to spin
as if we were dancing—

and we danced all night,
somewhere only in my dreams.

swollen eyes
keeps shedding tears
flowing down the cheeks
holding back feelings

swollen throat
unspoken words
feel so suffocated
yet, we pretend to be unbothered

I love,
and I still love;
it's never been a right time
as we think
we both not meant to be

I wait,
and i'm still waiting;
as I thought
there might be a hope
for both of us

I stay,
and I still stay;
wherever and how far you'll go
when you came back,
you'll see where I stand

idk how to express my feelings anymore
it just too—
complicated.