It will be nice once I find some time,
To really sit down and write,
As the summer begins to unwind
And I start to get free time on my weekends,

I can't wait just to throw on my headphones
And to space out and write.
I need this in the end all be all
To be alright.

It will be excellent to get away,
To block out everyone and everything
But those words and emotions
That are locked in my mind -

To commune that with music,
And within that harmony,
I can speak my soul out onto the page.

All you ever did was take, take, take,
And I can't take it anymore.

Whether during our time when we were only friends
Or when we were dating,
All it ever was, ever, was taking from me:
My time, my energy, my hobbies, friends and family, even my poetry.

Slowly, little bit by little increment,
You took everything from me,
And now, so soon after I rediscover my passion for dance,
Make it into the last bastion of my resistance,
You go and steal that away too.

You were too young and we were both too immature,
I should have known.

I gave you everything I had in faith,
Hoping to help you make life right,
But instead, those greedy, little emotional fingers you never knew you had
Went and took everything in sight,

Leaving me lost with nothing which to call mine.

You Are Fire, and you are the spark to my life, my drive, my desire.
I know I broke things off with you with the possibility of rekindling things in the future,
Only after I'd gone off on my trip this winter and did some serious soul searching,
But now that we've been talking again for a scant few days,
I feel everything coming alight and those old embers threaten to catch fire.

The old layers of baggage and ash finally were allowed the chance
To blow away with the winds of change and the gusts of time,
Letting those old wounds and scars heal, the pain to dull and subside.
But this renewed communication with you comes dangerously soon,
And I fear for you and I about my self control when it comes to how I feel for you.

I still have the impending six weeks abroad coming up this winter,
And the contrasting schedules and the wild lifestyle that's expected over there
Is one of the major reasons I decided that it was for the best to put us to rest,
But these renewed urges so soon will be a test to see if I make it
Until I leave on my trip without rekindling old passions.
The last thing I want to do is compromise on my morals,
Leaving you here with promises
While I head beyond the horizon to unknown experiences.

At this age I don't trust myself that far.

We both need time off and away to grow and develop mentally.
I just hope that you're still here when I get back so I can let you know,
I love you.

Bland statements such as you are amazing
Don't ever qualify how much of a blessing
I find you to be upon me.

Simply being you makes me do everything I can
To better myself in an effort that maybe
I might one day deserve you and everything you do.

All we did was begin to talk again after a break in communication,
And I already find myself more engaged in school
And giving a more dedicated and focused effort on my papers and homework.

It's not even down to trying to build myself into someone who deserves you
But the possibility by doing everything within my capabilities
To become that someone you deserve in return -
That someone who will love you unreserved
And protect you from everything in this world.

Off in the distance, never being seen
Loving you for so very long
My love for you wasn't foreseen
Hiding these feelings, that are so strong
                            I
Imagine your lips so close to mine
Never getting notice in that way
Thinking about you all the time
It is almost like,  I'm being betrayed
                          AND
Knowing how you feel, hurts me inside
Never saying anything to you
Rather be friends, than even try
Afraid if I told, you I would lose
                    
Maybe you will see me,  like I see you
We would be close to each other
Change your heart, fall in love with me too
Take our friendship a little further
                      OR
Someday I will meet someone new
All these feelings then would be gone
Someone to love me, and be true
And we will live as though we are one
                    BUT
For now, I got a secret I keep
And if I tell, the price is too high
So I will just keep being discrete
Pretending our friendship isn't a lie

You told me I was rude.
You implied that I was tired.
You were hiding by the wall.

You failed to see me wipe away two tears.
You failed to understand that I am trying.
And it’s clear to me now that trying isn’t working.

this morning, at 3:17

I was laying on your chest

awake

listening to your heartbeat

and I realized that

it is no longer my favorite song

goodbye